spider165 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 My ex-fiance and I have been together for two years until she broke up with me a month ago. We dated for over year before we got engaged. I moved in with her shortly after we started dating. Things were more than amazing for over a year and half. No arguing what so ever and the love life was fantastic! At the beginning of this year her dad got very sick and was hospitalized. Her family wasn't helping out and she felt alone in the whole thing. Her dad was at the hospital for two weeks and I screwed up by not going to see him at the hospital. After her dad got out I did go and see him at his house. I did see my ex fiance when she got home to change and sleep and I tried to go see her at work since we worked opposite shifts. I also did go initially to the hospital when her dad was first admitted. Furthermore I was never good at doing house chores like cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping so she felt like she had to do everything around the house and take care of her dad and me. We were suppose to get married next month. A few months back she told me that she wanted to reschedule the wedding. I wasn't happy about rescheduling the wedding since we had paid for everything already and told everyone about it. I let my stupid pride get in the way of things. The reason why she wanted to reschedule it was because her dad was sick. I couldn't understand it since I rather have my dad at the wedding sick than not at all. In the end I did agree to have it rescheduled. I was also under a lot of stress during this time. I was finishing my bachelors degree, worked full time at night, did overtime almost three times a week, had to worry about a second mortgage, and a bunch of other things. Sex between us became non existent in the last few months of the relationship. I blamed myself for gaining a little weight. She assured me that it wasn't me and that it was her birth control screwing with her hormones. She became very distant and unhappy. I thought that this was because of her dad and the possibility of him dying. I also shut down which made her feel alone. One day I broke down and started crying. I stated that I couldn't live like this anymore. I never wanted to break up I just wanted to fix things and have her stop treating me like she was. She stated that we needed to separate. This hit me like a ton of bricks. She never said anything during our wedding counseling sessions. I asked her if we were over and she stated no she just wanted to focus on her dad at the moment. I packed all my stuff and moved out as she wanted me to do. I got pissed and told her that if I moved out I would never come back. I than went back on my word and told her that I would do anything to make things work between us because I loved her more than anything in life. She wouldn't wear the ring and wouldn't talk to me which hurt me. She told me that she needed time and space and that I was being needy for wanting to see and talk to her. I gave her space until one day I posted a song on facebook saying that I was sorry for screwing up. In response she posted a song saying we are done. I called her all upset asking her what that song was stating and if we were over. She stated that I didn't know how to be there for her and everything I said that bothered me in life I just used it as an excuse. Since she didn't want to wear the ring anymore and kept stating that we were separated I changed my facebook status from engaged to nothing. This made her sad. I tried to apologize and change the status back to engaged but she wouldn't change it back. From there on out I kept trying to talk to her. Every time we would talk she got upset and started crying. She would never meet with me in person. I kept telling her how hurt I was and she stated that I was taking her attention away from her dad. After a month of me trying to fix things she broke up with me. She told me that I wasn't there for her at a time when she needed me the most. She stated that she couldn't get over the fact that I never came down to the hospital to see her and her dad. I was destroyed after she broke up with me. She was truly the love of my life and I just lost it all after the break up. I was and I still am very hurt. I am also feel depressed. I still continued trying to talk to her apologize and work things out. She told me to stop contacting her. For some reason not known to me I just can't stop trying to fix things and talk to her. I keep telling her how much I love her and how much she means to me. This week I was able to delete my facebook account. But I can't stop texting and calling her. I feel like a crazy person. She no longer picks up when I call her and she will not answer any of my text messages. WTF do I do?
Nohbody Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Right now you need to focus on you and deal with your feelings. These are the facts as we know them 1- you were engaged 2- you are not anymore 3- you were together 4- you are not anymore 5- she made these decisions, not you. She has decided, for whatever reason, that she doesn't want to be with you right now. There are a lot of threads in the coping and breaking up section (mostly rated with stars, so they are easy to find) that may help you get a handle on some of this. Look: This isn't your fault. She made her own decisions. She knows how awesome you are, and for some reason she has stopped appreciating it. Nothing you can do will change her mind, so work on being a more awesome you and healing your broken heart.
Author spider165 Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Thanks... I guess hearing this from a stranger makes me realize itmore... I even texted her mom two days ago asking her for advice and ifthere was anything I could do to get her back in my life... her momignored me. I just don't get it... if I tell her that I would doanything to change why won't she believe me? It makes me feel so worthless...
Author spider165 Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 After finding this site and reading about all the things NOT to doafter a break up I realized how badly I f*cked up! I kinda lost it afew days ago and in a span of three days I sent her 80 plus txtmessages with no reply from her. Nothing I sad was negative and itwas all me saying that I'm sorry for screwing up so badly. She told meto leave her alone and stop texting/calling/emailing her. I have madeNC now for two days and I don't plan on ever contacting her againsince I feel like a massive tool. I doubt she has any desire to evercontact me after this since I found out that she wants to block myphone number. What I still can't get past is that she can't get over me not showing up at the hospital. Is that really worth breakingoff a engagement? It's not like I was never there for her. I love herand I would do anything for her and she knows that. This is a lifelesson I wish I never had to learn. I guess I never knew what lovereally was?
Chi townD Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Sorry dude, but she's gone and with all the contact that you've been making against her requests for you to stop has turn any shread of love she had for you into resentment. You need to let her go. Easier said than done right? You need to go no contact with her. No texts no phonecalls, no e-mails. Peroid. Anytime you feel like doing any of those things...post here instead. People here have been through what you're going through. We'll walk you through it.
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