PropertyChaser Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 It's taken me a year for me to figure this out. Relationships aren't supposed to deliver closure, you'll never get over the feeling of betrayal or recover what you gave up for that person. After a flurry of calls from my ex (none of which I picked up) I felt compelled to tell her that I've accepted that things are what they are, even if they aren't ideal. I'm not sure if I'm relieved, angry, or depressed but one thing is for sure, a year our things aren't going to change and I just don't feel like talking about it anymore. This sure sucks but I had to send this and I think it's pretty concise, I don't want to call her and tell her because the sound of her voice makes my stomach churn. Chick needs to **** off, she has been letting me down for about a year and a half, and I can understand why she does so, but on the other hand, I'm not gonna wait around and do things at her leisure. I'm happy that I've finally come to grasp with the fact that this is just an awful situation. Not returning your call was pretty rude, something I’m not proud of. I will never know why you called. I will assume it wasn’t anything important, you didn’t leave a voicemail. After not receiving any responses to the texts I’d sent you for the weeks previous, I didn’t feel like talking much, plus, I had 3 fish in my hands. When we talked months ago I wanted to be at peace with you or maybe more importantly - my memory of you and to accept what has happened. I wanted to be able to think of you with fond and joyous memories and to recognize that you were a pivotal part of my life without having that strong feeling of hate, loathing and resentment towards you. In the last few months, despite my cathartic behaviour, I’ve finally come to peace with everything that has happened. Part of being at peace was accepting and recognizing both of our limitations, reality and accepting what has happened, and that some things just won’t change. I think I’ve finally accepted that. That’s not to say that I’m sure I want to hear from you again. I’ve realized that holding on to the idea of a trip with you again, or having you spend time with my family, to a certain extent is self deceiving. I've been asked to wait for the foreseeable future, an indefinite time line. Would you ever be okay with that? When returning an email, text, phone call, or leaving a voicemail becomes a monumental chore…. Believing that these larger things will happen will only make the inevitable disappointment far worse. As much as I want to believe you and believe in you, I’ve been given no reason to believe that things will materialize in the future. If it were important it would have happened. I know how you move mountains. Let’s face it I’m not the same as Petrina or Chelsea. Part of coming to peace with the situation between meant coming to terms with the fact that it takes disasters such as you being an emotional wreck or times where you aren’t okay and in distress, or on the verge of bankruptcy, or your dad being laid off for things to happen. I have to accept things for what they appear to be and because I can't change them I feel no need to talk about them anymore. This isn’t to say that I’m any less sorry for the things that I’ve done. I’ve been difficult, a jerk at times, and very challenging to deal with, especially when I was sorting out how I felt about you. I can certainly understand that it makes things VERY hard for you. I’m not looking to excuse myself from any personal accountability for any of the stupid and hurtful things that I’ve done. I accept responsibility for everything that I’ve done both recently and long in the past, and I hope that you can accept my heartfelt apology for everything that I have done. But this isn't for me. I hope that this note finds you in good health and all the best. Writing this was made far easier by the fact that I've met someone, who always does come through for me, who does make me feel special.
GgirlBgirl Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Good for you. And if I ever had to tell my ex to stop calling me, I may borrow some of it.
LelouchIsZero Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 It's taken me a year for me to figure this out. Relationships aren't supposed to deliver closure, you'll never get over the feeling of betrayal or recover what you gave up for that person. Its not necessarily suppose to 'deliver closure', but there is a right & wrong way to break up with someone. Either way it'd still be hard, but at least if its done correctly, the other person won't be as hurt as they could be, in comparison to what they'd face if it was done incorrectly. Well done on the letter & congrats for finding someone who does appreciate you .
Author PropertyChaser Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Hahahaha I got a text this morning, apparently I was the recipient of 'misdials' - I find that hard to believe. They rang for quite a while.
durkadurka Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 (edited) So I called her out about the misdial, because I knew it was full of crap, and she eventually relented. It was no misdial, she even said that she wanted to talk to me, and that not talking to me isn't what she wants, but it's the way she thinks it should be. I'm okay with this, because honestly, I haven't seen the girl in a year. The girl has no shortage of money, or time, and if it was something she wanted to do she would have made it happen. I've got a ton of stuff I put off for her, and while my life might not be as fulfilling without her, at least I can achieve the stuff necessary to become a more complete person. I guess the crux of the issue is that I had to choose between the two, and I wish she could have been more understanding, and realize that talking about how stuff reminds her of me and that she wishes she could do stuff with me, or that the apartment she has back at home is WAY better than the one we had when we were together is super uncomfortable, and even mean. Edited September 1, 2011 by durkadurka
reimeivn Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Well yeah you never know. What is closure? Once somebody treats me badly and walks out on me, I do not care why. I treat people with love and respect, and I am honest to them. So yeah its not on me to figure it out why. I am not gonna spend another minute of my life thinking about it anymore. I dont want that person neither.
visualbasicide Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I think when most of us want closure, what we really want is acceptance of the situation, they both will probably lead to the same result anyway, some semblance of piece of mind.
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