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Posted (edited)

After years of neglect by my SO & reaching a place where I know our relationship needs to end; suddenly today my heart is aching but I don't think it's for the loss of him but the way he carelessly discarded me for other things.

 

What made me feel badly today was finding the evidence that he's been video chatting with "whoever". I know him, it's not manly chats about computer repair...

 

Why does this hurt so much?

 

(ETA it's not like I want him or am attracted to him either...)

Edited by FarmGirl
addition
Posted

Because in your head you have the dream that he would stop and appreciate you and stop lying.

 

We grieve the dream. As well it continues to provide fuel for our insecurities.

Like the insecurities that we won't find someone better so we have to take this. And we are being replaced. Being the girlfriend and sex partner is our role. We feel like we've failed something, so we try to do more, which only causes them to do so much less.

 

 

The dreams where we believe that life will be better and they will love us.

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