chelle21689 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 How important is it to be able to laugh, joke around, playfully insult each other, and wrestle? Is too much bad? My bf and I do it a lot and it's fun whenever we're just sitting around by ourselves at my house or his. My last relationship we joked but not on the level that me and my current bf do. But then again my ex was able to have amazing intellectual conversation to teach me new things about perspective and the world that my current boyfriend doesn't. He isn't a conversationalist like my ex was. I was just thinking about how no one is ever 100% and I'm beginning to think that one person always lacks what the other has and the new relationships you create are always very different but doesn't mean it's bad. This is my 2nd relationship so I learned a new experience and had a completely different perspective on "one true love" haha that's not what I believe in anymore :-\
zengirl Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Playfulness is very important to me (not wrestling so much, but verbal playfulness). But I'm a playful person, and it's something I actively bring to the dynamic. So, anyone who wasn't able to at least go with that just wouldn't mesh with me.
Bridgey Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Me and my boyfriend joke around with each other all the time. It's one of the best things about our relationship. But we also have serious conversations about things such as politics and science etc. We also feel comfortable discussing our problems and personal issues with each other. I feel all three of these things are important for a LTR.
Author chelle21689 Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 I'm not really into political science talk and stuff like that though. I don't mind learning about it because I always like to learn about new things. I don't know too much about science but I am interested in it...things like cloning, technology, new inventions, etc.
FeelingSmall Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Playfulness is extremely important to me. We're always making fun of eachother and laughing, joking around. I also enjoy wrestling and "win" quite often! Ha! Of course having a serious side is important too, but I do enjoy being able to be a "goof" with my s/o. Bring on the laugh lines!
Author chelle21689 Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 Yeah we do it a lot but not ALL the time. There's a time for fun and time to be serious.
Afishwithabike Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 It's very important although not the wrestling. I'll leave that to the pros on TV. Playful banter is one of the things that attracted me to my husband. We joke around a lot. We playfully tease each other. We know each other's sensitive spots so we don't tease each other about those things, but everything else is fair game. The guy I was seeing before just didn't have that same playful quality. Sometimes that guy and I would have awkward pauses if I teased him. He just didn't have it in him to be cheeky. H, on the other hand, is great at witty banter and also good at intellectual conversations about serious topics.
rafallus Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 It isn't necessary. It does happen often, but not with all women I've ever dealt with (not like there was THAT many of them either). And lack of it isn't a deal breaker.
Bridgey Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I'm not really into political science talk and stuff like that though. I don't mind learning about it because I always like to learn about new things. I don't know too much about science but I am interested in it...things like cloning, technology, new inventions, etc. What I meant to say was you should be able to talk about whatever interests you. Science is what interests me and politics is what interests my boyfriend. You should be able to share what you are passionate about, or at least really enjoy
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Playfulness is huge for me... but so is a greater depth. My current relationship isn't what I consider to be very playful, but I'm alright with that because my boyfriend's sense of humor has always driven me wild and is enough to keep me at bay. If anything, he's probably more dissatisfied with my attempts at mingling in playful ways with him. Honestly, I think over-all some people are better at balancing the sides of themselves out, while others have more ease in dividing them up and keeping them separated. I have this idea that I want to be known for as much as I can be with at least one person, while he has the idea that he can be known for who is his among several different people (all each knowing different facets of him). I'm probably the crazier one =p... You just have to decide what your priorities are for a "romantic" relationship and if you're okay with having one extreme or another then, as long as it works, so be it.
Author chelle21689 Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 Onyx, what do you mean by greater depth? What do you consider greater depth?
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Onyx, what do you mean by greater depth? What do you consider greater depth? Feeling connected and understood --- being able to converse about a wide array of topics --- even the not so pleasant ones. I suppose, being able to relate to one another and share intimate things with. It is wonderful to be able to play and engage in light interaction... but at least for me, it can become generic and I need intellectual substance (that's kind of my gateway into deeper emotions and attractions).
Author chelle21689 Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 I feel that laughter and deep conversations are important for me to feeling a close bond and connection. Posting this new thread made me think about my new boyfriend's conversations with me. I'm not sure how to go about this. But if you could look in my new post and respond I'd appreciate your input.
Casablanca Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Super important...if my gf cant laugh at her self, take me joking on her and doesnt enjoy joking on me she's gone...I need playful and silliness
TrueColors Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I value playfulness too, because that is my nature. I can't imagine being with someone who couldn't be goofy or silly around me. But as others have pointed out, being able to be serious and open to discuss a variety of topics (in depth), is equally important. Everything in moderation, I say.
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