Scottdmw Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Interesting article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201107/porn-induced-sexual-dysfunction-is-growing-problem “Lots of guys, 20s or so, can't get it up anymore with a real girl, and they all relate having a serious porn/masturbation habit. Guys will never openly discuss this with friends or co-workers, for fear of getting laughed out of town. But when someone tells their story on a health forum, and there are 50-100 replies from other guys who struggle with the same thing, this is for real.”
Kindaconfused_77 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Very interesting read, particularly the accounts on the linked site yourbrainonporn.com I recently had a similar experience, as a guy who had been single for the past 10 years, when I finally got laid, while I didn't exactly soften up quickly, I had trouble climaxing without the visual stimulus I was used to from porn. I eve tually managed to blow my load so to speak, but even so I had to use masturbatory fantasies in my mind to get there, which definitely felt like cheating... After reading this article I think one of their suggested "reboots" is in order, and time to kill the porn links on my PC, to see what difference it makes in my sexual life...
stillafool Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Is that why I hear about so many young men taking viagra?
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I don't know if I can relate at all to this. I watch porn pretty regularly and I still get an erection from the thought or prospect of holding a girls hand or even kissing. The visual has absolutely no impact on me, it's more about the imagination and the feeling to me.
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 (edited) I think it's a fairly common aftermath. Although I've been with men whom were porn junkies but who also had very high "natural" libidos. In my own experience (though I am not male), I had found that porn desensitized me. Not worth the brevity... haven't viewed/used it for years. I went through a phase of being unable to be aroused by "normal" sex etc... when I ceased the porn, it took a couple of years before my sexual drive returned (and of course, encountering a wonderful man, lol). I'm currently indifferent to pornography (having tasted a deeper sexual intimacy with someone helps I think). I've also changed my ideas of sex in general. But more power to those who can use it and derive benefits from it whilst finding it morally sound and the like. I don't think it cheapens sexual experiences for everyone, it just happened to for me. I should mention I also had a fair share of "wild" experiences with people that I also found unsatisfying (I really need intellectual stimulation to enjoy sex) and it seems many others don't. I can't really blame it all on pornography, but rather correlations to it were ones I just also found unsatisfying. Edited August 29, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
EnigmaticClarity Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I recently had a similar experience, as a guy who had been single for the past 10 years, when I finally got laid, while I didn't exactly soften up quickly, I had trouble climaxing without the visual stimulus I was used to from porn. I eve tually managed to blow my load so to speak, but even so I had to use masturbatory fantasies in my mind to get there, which definitely felt like cheating... After reading this article I think one of their suggested "reboots" is in order, and time to kill the porn links on my PC, to see what difference it makes in my sexual life... I occasionally have this exact problem as well--real life can't match what's possible with the imagination, so to get used to real life again, you've got to ease off of the fantasy. If you're particularly imaginative, it doesn't have to just be porn to cause this problem--your own fantasies can make many types of sex a challenge to get off on. There's a hilarious episode of South Park where Kyle's dad displays this mindset--he can't get off unless he's switching rapidly between Japanese girls puking in each other's mouths, beastiality, and "Brazilian fart porn," whatever that is. http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/166191/no-more-blue-balls
somedude81 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I'm the same as 49k I've looked at plenty of porn and have no issue getting hard just from the thought of having sex.
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I'm the same as 49k I've looked at plenty of porn and have no issue getting hard just from the thought of having sex. I know i'm treading on light ground... but if I understand this correctly, you haven't experienced sex with a woman yet? I'm just wondering, if that is primarily why you aren't seeing how it could possibly negatively impact you. It's still something in your imagination and at least presently, out of reach from actuality so... I knew a man who didn't get into a relationship with a girl until he was 24... he confided to me his disappointment with the sex not being what he thought it'd be like (and yes he viewed pornography, as most men)... now maybe the girl was just not good in bed / they were both awkward about it but... just saying... I think he had other expectations that weren't met. Whether or not they were contrived from his porn use is really only something he knows but...
dreamingoftigers Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 This was my experience as well. I think it's a fairly common aftermath. Although I've been with men whom were porn junkies but who also had very high "natural" libidos. In my own experience (though I am not male), I had found that porn desensitized me. Not worth the brevity... haven't viewed/used it for years. I went through a phase of being unable to be aroused by "normal" sex etc... when I ceased the porn, it took a couple of years before my sexual drive returned (and of course, encountering a wonderful man, lol). I'm currently indifferent to pornography (having tasted a deeper sexual intimacy with someone helps I think). I've also changed my ideas of sex in general. But more power to those who can use it and derive benefits from it whilst finding it morally sound and the like. I don't think it cheapens sexual experiences for everyone, it just happened to for me. I should mention I also had a fair share of "wild" experiences with people that I also found unsatisfying (I really need intellectual stimulation to enjoy sex) and it seems many others don't. I can't really blame it all on pornography, but rather correlations to it were ones I just also found unsatisfying.
bluenightowl Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I know i'm treading on light ground... but if I understand this correctly, you haven't experienced sex with a woman yet? I'm just wondering, if that is primarily why you aren't seeing how it could possibly negatively impact you. It's still something in your imagination and at least presently, out of reach from actuality so... I knew a man who didn't get into a relationship with a girl until he was 24... he confided to me his disappointment with the sex not being what he thought it'd be like (and yes he viewed pornography, as most men)... now maybe the girl was just not good in bed / they were both awkward about it but... just saying... I think he had other expectations that weren't met. Whether or not they were contrived from his porn use is really only something he knows but... I'm curious what percentage of men watch porn? I would guess it depends on the age group. I just know when I was a teenager it was likely close to 100%, but still it wasn't all the time. But now with such easy and free porn, I can imagine both women and men watching a lot of porn at an early age. I have no doubt its messing people up and making people wonder about the superficial over the true importance of a caring relationship.
somedude81 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I know i'm treading on light ground... but if I understand this correctly, you haven't experienced sex with a woman yet? I'm just wondering, if that is primarily why you aren't seeing how it could possibly negatively impact you. It's still something in your imagination and at least presently, out of reach from actuality so... No, I've been with several women. This post explains what I've done. What I haven't had is sex in a relationship. I've never had a girlfriend. I knew a man who didn't get into a relationship with a girl until he was 24... he confided to me his disappointment with the sex not being what he thought it'd be like (and yes he viewed pornography, as most men)... now maybe the girl was just not good in bed / they were both awkward about it but... just saying... I think he had other expectations that weren't met. Whether or not they were contrived from his porn use is really only something he knows but...Definitely not the case with me. I love sex. So much so that I got hard typing that sentence Sex is very different from porn, so much better. And I know that sex will be even better once I can have it with a woman who I care about and one who actually cares about me.
carhill Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 At the other end of the age spectrum, no issues here. That said, I can see the potential psychological pitfalls, which may be more pronounced in someone with an addictive personality.
mike1988 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Yes. I am not even 23 and I lose it constantly. I quit smoking two months ago and haven't had sex in 6 months, but of the 7 girls I've slept with in the two years since I lost my virginity, only once was I able to have normal sex and actually cum inside the girl from sex. All the rest I either didn't finish or did it myself. I notice the longer I go without jackin' or smokin' the harder I can get. Also, while my mind isn't shallow, my penis may be. I'm sure if I was with a girl I really had a crush on (which doesn't happen), I would actually have phenomenal sex. But I have to settle for less, thus my penis doesn't react well.
dreamingoftigers Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 My husband can't last long and can't go twice.
AHardDaysNight Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 While I can see the negative effects to watching it daily, 2 or 3 times a week is not bad, and can even be beneficial. I have cut down, but I see porn as helpful. And like anything in the world, too much of a good thing can be bad.
Beachgirl8 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I had a theory that this was a big part of the problem with the last guy I dated. Its sad really- I wish I had come across this article 6 months ago.
coffeeaddict Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 (edited) Yeah, I noticed the same thing before I read about the phenomenon. A few days without porn and I would always have a greater sex-drive/erection quality. This video lays out the neuroscience behind it. The short version is the brain becomes accustomed to the "hyper-stimulating" hardcore material, as a result it wont let you settle for less (produces less dopamine). Essentially it's a gradual rewiring of sexual attraction. It's based on something called the "Coolidge Effect," which is like a genetically programmed proclivity to seek novelty in partners for the purpose of having the greatest genetic variance in offspring (greater chance for survival of genes). Most guys can attest to the fact that they don't look at the same clips over and over again. They started out looking at light-core stuff, pictures of naked women or whatever as a teenager. By the time they're a little older that doesn't do it for them anymore, they've moved onto something else. It doesn't affect everyone, and those it does affect not necessarily to the same degree, nonetheless it's a heads up if you look at a lot of porn (large percentages of men). Edited August 30, 2011 by coffeeaddict
mike1988 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I've tried cutting down but I can't seem to attract women lately and if I don't watch porn I'll be more horny and thus depressed.
FarmGirl Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 My SO is a closet porn addict and he cannot function sexually with me. He wilts when I touch him even while taking Viagra. Basically the only way for us to do anything sexual together would be for him to masturbate with me present. I am absolutely shocked that I got pregnant since we've physically had very little traditional sex so the fact that his sperm and my egg got together is quite mind-boggling. Most of our encounters over the years have been unsatisfying for me in more ways than one. Just once to have sex with a man who is actually mentally and emotionally present would probably bring me to tears. Oh yeah...and the non-existent foreplay is wonderful too </sarcasm> All of this has done wonders for my self-esteem let me tell ya...
Feelin Frisky Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I can see this happening with young guys these days. Having the ability to summon explicit moving pictures of human beings engaging in sexual conduct is a power that is probably too potent to just spring on population at large. I'm not for suppression or censorship--I feel that education must radically depart to a new place in which people become "socio-technologically literate" where they can better understand the trade offs they make in using that kind of instant power. Guys must be losing some connection with the sociology of women--thoughts, conduct, manners and so forth that establishes that a whole person is involved in sex who doesn't cease to exist when the act it over like porn stars do when you turn the off. This is serious stuff in many regards.
FarmGirl Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I can see this happening with young guys these days. Having the ability to summon explicit moving pictures of human beings engaging in sexual conduct is a power that is probably too potent to just spring on population at large. I'm not for suppression or censorship--I feel that education must radically depart to a new place in which people become "socio-technologically literate" where they can better understand the trade offs they make in using that kind of instant power. Guys must be losing some connection with the sociology of women--thoughts, conduct, manners and so forth that establishes that a whole person is involved in sex who doesn't cease to exist when the act it over like porn stars do when you turn the off. This is serious stuff in many regards. Excellent post!
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Excellent post! ^^^^ I second that thought!! Actually couldn't have said it much better Frisky and knowing it came from a guy makes it more valid, in my opinoin. Props to you!! I love a quote that was in a magazine it was something along the lines of "Even if they had a little blue pill for women, guys forget that more blood flow isn't enough for women, their most powerful sex organ and the most important is the brain"
AHardDaysNight Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I've tried cutting down but I can't seem to attract women lately and if I don't watch porn I'll be more horny and thus depressed. This is why I can't quit porn, either. I don't have a real life partner, and therefore can't get anything.
mike1988 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Indeed. Such is life. They turn us down then wonder why we can't get it up. In all seriousness, my only girlfriend ever (we were together a little over a month) had trouble keeping me hard. One time we were making out hot and heavy and I was rock solid, and just as I was getting ready to do it she said in a soft voice, "let's just a play a while..." meaning...she wasn't ready. INSTANTLY, I went soft. Keep in mind, I'm only 22 years old. I'm willing to bet if she had said, "Damn right, you better put that ****ing **** inside my *****" I wouldn't have gone soft. Perhaps some girls are too quiet or not dirty enough during sex? Afterall, the only girl who ever made me cum was a Spanish girl who spoke dirty to me in Spanish as we did it.
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