Calypsoo Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted this in second chances but probably better here... Please help me out here Brief background info LTR mad crazy passionate, last 12 months I neglect him ( new job, study - no excuse I know) he gets together with co worker and dumps me january I beg plead for a week even write the letter ( I know I know ) then leave him alone 3 months later I text him to return all my stuff, we meet he cries says he's seeing someone else and happier now, I ask him if he loves her he just looks uncomfortable and says she's really good to him and easy to be with. I comfort him tell him i just want him to be happy and ive learnt a lot i dont ask for him backHe stays for 3 hours and he just didn't seem to want to leave, we are flirting at one point. Believe me the chemistry in the air was indescribable I was not expecting him to be how he was and his actions around me staring at me, atmosphere was charged etc appeared to contradict his words After he left I crumbled I wasn't expecting the encounter to go that way , he had been ice cold when he dumped me, I felt I'd handled things well and had high hopes We texted a month later about detail for the arrangements for some money he has been repaying me and he was totally ice again and rudeto me, just about broke my heart again I see him in the traffic one morning just after this and he sends me a friendly text, I ignore it So 2 weeks ago I qualify and send group text saying I'd passed cheers to me etc he replies well done I've done everything I can to move on 3 months strict nc till I had to get my stuff and no contact until I sent that last text I've joined a gym lost 15lb stepped up my work, qualified taken up new hobbies, positive affirmations blah blah blah but the truth is I still love him I hear last week from a mutual friend that fir the first time since the split he has been asking about me ( this is why I included him on the group text) now this weekend I hear from a different mutual friend this: He thinks I'm such a lovely person His new relationship is so easy there's no hassle They have never ever fought in 7 months Then says that he dreams about me a lot WTF?? I just wanna try to meet with him I've seen him once since jan and he has said this really threw him out and upset him for a few weeks ??! *
flitzanu Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted this in second chances but probably better here... Please help me out here Brief background info LTR mad crazy passionate, last 12 months I neglect him ( new job, study - no excuse I know) he gets together with co worker and dumps me january I beg plead for a week even write the letter ( I know I know ) then leave him alone 3 months later I text him to return all my stuff, we meet he cries says he's seeing someone else and happier now, I ask him if he loves her he just looks uncomfortable and says she's really good to him and easy to be with. I comfort him tell him i just want him to be happy and ive learnt a lot i dont ask for him backHe stays for 3 hours and he just didn't seem to want to leave, we are flirting at one point. Believe me the chemistry in the air was indescribable I was not expecting him to be how he was and his actions around me staring at me, atmosphere was charged etc appeared to contradict his words After he left I crumbled I wasn't expecting the encounter to go that way , he had been ice cold when he dumped me, I felt I'd handled things well and had high hopes We texted a month later about detail for the arrangements for some money he has been repaying me and he was totally ice again and rudeto me, just about broke my heart again I see him in the traffic one morning just after this and he sends me a friendly text, I ignore it So 2 weeks ago I qualify and send group text saying I'd passed cheers to me etc he replies well done I've done everything I can to move on 3 months strict nc till I had to get my stuff and no contact until I sent that last text I've joined a gym lost 15lb stepped up my work, qualified taken up new hobbies, positive affirmations blah blah blah but the truth is I still love him I hear last week from a mutual friend that fir the first time since the split he has been asking about me ( this is why I included him on the group text) now this weekend I hear from a different mutual friend this: He thinks I'm such a lovely person His new relationship is so easy there's no hassle They have never ever fought in 7 months Then says that he dreams about me a lot WTF?? I just wanna try to meet with him I've seen him once since jan and he has said this really threw him out and upset him for a few weeks ??! * sort of confused about your actual question. as for the title, my ex from 2002 is married and has 3 kids, she dreamt of me last october, so, 8 YEARS later, and she's the one that dumped me. people just dream. sounds like he has a new relationship from what you said, so why worry about what he's saying to people?
Author Calypsoo Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 Well, because we were together 6 years and I was devastated to be dumped for another woman And because although I'm doing my best ( and to some degree have) moved on, hearing this, coupled with his reaction to meeting me etc just leave me kinda confused as to whether he too may still have feelings for me or regret his decision It DOES happen you know and I just wanted to hear other posters opinions or even whether they have experienced similar I know if I've ended a relationship I certainly don't dream about them especially on a regular basis and especially not whilst I'm laid in bed next to a new perfect partner who I've never once fought with lol! Just askin' ... There's a wealth of experience on here!
flitzanu Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Well, because we were together 6 years and I was devastated to be dumped for another woman And because although I'm doing my best ( and to some degree have) moved on, hearing this, coupled with his reaction to meeting me etc just leave me kinda confused as to whether he too may still have feelings for me or regret his decision It DOES happen you know and I just wanted to hear other posters opinions or even whether they have experienced similar I know if I've ended a relationship I certainly don't dream about them especially on a regular basis and especially not whilst I'm laid in bed next to a new perfect partner who I've never once fought with lol! Just askin' ... There's a wealth of experience on here! ugh, my last ex, i dreamt of her literally every single night for 3-5 months (got hazy toward the end) after she left me. i'm pretty pathetic.
Author Calypsoo Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 That's interesting to hear, I note that after a few months you stopped dreaming of her and you were the one who was dumped ( hate that term...) I can understand it happening when you've been left heartbroken but not if you were the one ending things. Maybe a few weeks after but for nearly 8 months? Dunno just set me thinking I'm doing ok now you know but believe me there were some pretty dark times for longer than I thought I could bear He was literally joyful after we split and apparently didn't need to discuss his decision with me or his best mates as he " did all his deliberating before hand" and he was "moving onwards and upwards" ouch ... His psoriasis hed had since his teens disappeared which he attributed to not being with me , ouch ouch ...and all was great in his world with new gf Now he's asking after me and dreaming of me. Ah well his loss all ltr have there ups and downs and if he chose to bolt when times were difficult then he doesn't deserve me at my best he made his bed so he can lay in it And dream of me whilst he's laid there lol Oh and the psoriasis is back with avengence I hear!
pd8mxq Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Hi there, I just want to give opinion. My situation is the same as you. My ex left a 8 year relationship and went with someone else as soon as he left. They dated for 9 months now. Although it is a rebound it seems like it is working. We catchup on the phone regularly and he did admit he is happy with the new person. Will it last forever in terms of happiness, he says he does not know. But having said that, the hassle free, stress free relationship does suit him right now. (they are not living together whereas we were for 6 years). A few months ago back in July, we had dinner and I asked him a question 'does he still have feelings', he said 'he does' because we were for so long. I am pretty sure your ex still has feelings too although they are with someone else. But one thing he added, the current relationship works, why would he drop that and come back to something that was not working at the end. For him, he is still scare about going back to the unhappiness at the end so he chooses not to. He said he saw me change but he just thinks the relationship is not what he wants no matter how much he cares for me. Its been 9 months and I have come to a point where I have done everything. All I can do now is to move on for good. I cant wait anymore as I waited for 9 months. I hope you can also. your ex likes you but sort of found something a bit fresher and new. Maybe one day, you will be the fresher and new person for him again. I dont want to make you sound like a piece of meat but this is the best I can describe it, (dont be offened). And how do you maintain that freshness is to worry afterwards. But dont wait, just move on with your life, keep a friendship and that ONE DAY might come.
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