ConfusedT Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I woke up to a missed call from my ex's NEW girlfriend? i mean really now. wonderful, put me 10 steps back as did the call from his mom last week. ugh. this is too much for me to handle on one emotional spectrum. i am turning into a wreck all over again. i've been crying all morning and i feel so STUPID for even caring. i have been praying so hard, trying to focus on the positives in my life, the negative in his and i just feel like my heart wont let go for some reason. I can't take this much longer, i just need to move on, but i dont know how to i guess. i have NEVER had such a hard time letting go before in my life, i just dont understand what is wrong with me. he let go, moved on and hasnt said one word or apologized to me at all, (which breaks my heart even more) but im sitting here sulking, crying, praying, wishing for the heartache to just GO AWAY. i know everyone heals in a different speed, but how long before NC really helps me? bc this is slowly ripping what is left of my heart out day by day, the good days are OK, but the bad days are terrible. =( i just wanna feel like me again...
Arikel Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 The mom calling you was bad enough .. why on earth would the NEW GF call you?! That sucks! Perhaps you could change your phone number? Sort of taking a step forward to 'liberating' yourself and truly going NC. Hugs to you, just take it one day at a time, try find a new hobby, or start thinking of stuff you've always wanted to do and start looking them up.. even if you don't DO it, it will be a distraction. If you do, thats a new hobby to keep your mind occupied I'm currently considering taking up a scuba diving course! People have raved about it to me enough, I wanna be part of the fun! And salsa classes sound fun too, or learning to rollerblade .. What do you find interesting?
Nohbody Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 The new GF is calling you because she feels threatened somehow. Congrats. You make her feel inferior (or the legend of you does, anywho). You are doing fine. What you are feeling is totally normal, and when it passes you will be that much farther along. It is no comfort now, but I believe you are coping extremely well. I hope you feel better soon. Keep up the good work.
Coupedriver Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I feel on the edge too......look for a posting by me .."triggers" How long before it just stops..?
Coupedriver Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 i just feel like my heart wont let go for some reason. I can't take this much longer, i just need to move on, but i dont know how to i guess. i have NEVER had such a hard time letting go before in my life, i just dont understand what is wrong with me. .......... but im sitting here sulking, crying, praying, wishing for the heartache to just GO AWAY. i know everyone heals in a different speed, but how long before NC really helps me? bc this is slowly ripping what is left of my heart out day by day, the good days are OK, but the bad days are terrible. =( i just wanna feel like me again... Imagine a 44 year old guy feeling like this..?!??!?!? I thought with age comes wisdom..NOT this much heartache..."Man up." Is what I have been told...wish I could....
Author ConfusedT Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 i really do have faith somewhere deep down bc i am still pushin on. Arikel- i know. one things after another. I'm pretty sure she called me because she was looking for him. He has a tendency to go MIA overnight =X & because she used to be the reason he went MIA from me (freakin cheaters), she's probably assuming that I'm the "other girl" that he is cheating on her with, which I absolutely refuse to be. Im your everything or ill be your nothing! Noh- Thank you. I feel inferior to her. although he is "no prize" per se, he was still my prize =(. Do you really think I'm holding up well? I feel like a emotional mess, but I am strong enough to maintain no contact & I really didnt think I had it in me. I wanted to text him today, but I came here to LS instead, because I just cant re-involve myself into something so painful. Coupe- I am going to go look!
Nohbody Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Yes. I broke NC twice in less than two weeks when I first started. Got no responses, was crushed. I know you feel horrible, but you ARE taking this as well as can be expected.
Treasa Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 i really do have faith somewhere deep down bc i am still pushin on. Arikel- i know. one things after another. I'm pretty sure she called me because she was looking for him. He has a tendency to go MIA overnight =X & because she used to be the reason he went MIA from me (freakin cheaters), she's probably assuming that I'm the "other girl" that he is cheating on her with, which I absolutely refuse to be. Im your everything or ill be your nothing! Noh- Thank you. I feel inferior to her. although he is "no prize" per se, he was still my prize =(. Do you really think I'm holding up well? I feel like a emotional mess, but I am strong enough to maintain no contact & I really didnt think I had it in me. I wanted to text him today, but I came here to LS instead, because I just cant re-involve myself into something so painful. Coupe- I am going to go look! Your ex sounds like an ass and you sound very strong. Crying doesn't mean you're weak. You're getting over something traumatic. It's going to take time. The fact that you're maintaining NC through all this is awesome!! I really think you dodged a bullet here, and I think that you're going to be just fine. Like someone else mentioned, try to focus on new endeavors, new goals, etc. When my ex broke up with me last year, I learned how to drive stick shift, planned to take motorcycle riding lessons, started going back to the gym, etc.
Buttercup84 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 i really do have faith somewhere deep down bc i am still pushin on. Arikel- i know. one things after another. I'm pretty sure she called me because she was looking for him. He has a tendency to go MIA overnight =X & because she used to be the reason he went MIA from me (freakin cheaters), she's probably assuming that I'm the "other girl" that he is cheating on her with, which I absolutely refuse to be. Im your everything or ill be your nothing! Noh- Thank you. I feel inferior to her. although he is "no prize" per se, he was still my prize =(. Do you really think I'm holding up well? I feel like a emotional mess, but I am strong enough to maintain no contact & I really didnt think I had it in me. I wanted to text him today, but I came here to LS instead, because I just cant re-involve myself into something so painful. Coupe- I am going to go look! You are doing well . If this happened to me I would be the same . The fact that he goes MIA shows that he is a prick. He will do the same to her , I can promise you. If his gf contacts you again , sms her and say you are trying to heal , and she isn't helping.
Author ConfusedT Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Thanks NOH. Im trying, feels like its getting worse! Treasa- he is an ass. a big one at that. i have maintained NC but only for my own dignity and to try to build up myself again. he broke me down so that i had to do something for myself. everyone says that i dodged one. hard to even focus on anything when my damn days are so different emotionally, lol... buttercup- oh im sure he is. he has done it to her before. she was messing with him before me (FWB & he did as he pleased), messed with him behind my back during the duration of our relationship (almost a year) & then when he decided he couldn't commit to me & *the family lifestyle* any longer, she was still there because she never left. i never had a fair chance, but i guess looking back i should have known- it came with the territory =(
Coupedriver Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I know there are no words to help you ConfusedT..I wish I could wave me hands and make you all better..I printed your words..( from yesterday..triggers post..) today and posted on my dashboard of my work truck..."we still have a chance to smile...a chance to be happy again and a chance to love again.." Please be STRONG..I want to be..and I want YOU to be too...Its SO hard and I REALLY do understand...seems like your feelings are exactly like mine..I never knew so MANY people hurt this much all at once...
Coupedriver Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 You might want to think about changing your number or can you enter phone numbers you want blocked..?
Coupedriver Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 You have a GREAT bunch of people who will be there and give you all of the support you need....EVEN without asking....We are becoming a close group and I am DAMN sure we have you in our minds CT...( well whats left of mine...I think some lint is still trapped up there..)..NEVER be afraid,like I was to, REACH out with both hands..we will catch you....
Author ConfusedT Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 thanks everyone! i had a pretty good day, but this evening has sucked! ive been crying all night & im just going through changes.. again. my emotions are so up & down, but ive decided that i am ONLY going to talk to you guys and my other girlfriend from here on out. i just feel like i am overwhelming everyone else that doesnt understand what im going through. she understands and is willing to always listen, she's the only one i feel that isnt annoyed by me anymore. if they understood all the details, i think they'd understand more, but i feel like i have so much baggage that i dont even want to deal with it. i HATE THIS so much!!! i hope everyone is having a better day than I am!
M2155 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Lol at Coupedriver I was just thinking if she calls again, forward her to one of us. I have zero idea why a GF would call. It can't be any good and if the story is as you say, then Nohbody is definitely right she feels threatened. She does not trust him. Their relationship won't last- or it won't be happy if it does. Not that that helps you, just know you're going to move on to something much better. One day we'll all look back and laugh that we wasted so much brainspace. Stay strong;)
Author ConfusedT Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 i went to the gym and worked out for like two hours. im already SKINNY as can be and during the breakup, i lost another 10 lbs or so, so now im underweight, lol! so im trying to rebuild some muscle!!! i feel better, does working out create dopamine or something? thank you. we are all going to get better if we work on it. TIME TIME TIME TIME & distance!!!! it has to work, or we're screwed!!!!!
GgirlBgirl Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I know that working out gives me something else to focus on and exhausts me so I can sleep.
Coupedriver Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Go take a kick boxing class and pin that EXs pic on a punching bag...and HAVE at it GIRL..!!!!!!!!!
Author ConfusedT Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 i had a breakthrough guys. i dont know what happened, but im DONE being so sad over this guy! i am over it!!!!! i love him still, but what he did to me (including stuff not discussed on this board) is SO hurtful and deceitful and unforgiveable that i just cant deal with the sorrow any longer. i gotta let go. im thinking positive right now, may change tomorrow. but right now. I AM DONE!
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