AHardDaysNight Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Here is where I'm going to get a little preachy... I've noticed that where all my anger and frustration comes from is when I put all of my self worth on an external source: women, dating, and relationships. This has made me feel frustrated, as an almost 29 year old virgin with no experience, and has made me feel like a loser. What I've learned from the recent threads is this: nobody can give you worth, if you don't believe in yourself. You can be the kindest, most handsome, most talented, most valuable, most genuine, richest person in the world...and if you don't believe in yourself, this means nada. You are nothing in the eyes of the world, because you are nothing in your own eyes, and people judge by your own belief in yourself. This goes for women, too, but women don't tend to create angry threads here, raging at the world. Maybe that's because they're able to handle it better, but still... No matter what age you are, what level of sexual and romantic experience you are, how fat/skinny you are, or how many dates you go on... You are worth something.
grkBoy Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 FINALLY! SOMEONE GETS IT! You have done well. Now go and find self-fulfillment. You are not worth the person who is at your side, but what you are as a person. Go forth and do. I was a late bloomer too. The right woman isn't going to care if you're a virgin or not. Some might even think it's cool that you didn't easily run out and bang someone. Most others won't ask. So...how are you going to fulfill yourself in life? Not attacking, just diving deeper into the rabbit's hole.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I get the feeling that people on this board think that if you don't have confidence around women that it means you constantly mope around with an Eeyore-like attitude. Always negative and a completely non-confident mess in everything (or most things) that you do. Which is, to me, completely 100% wrong. Anyone who has seen me in a debate, or in the gym, or on the basketball court or with some friends would never get the impression that I had confidence issues. Why? Because I am able to compartmentalize and segregate my issues with women from the rest of my life. The only thing that will make me more confident around women is to actually experience some success with women and dating. Until then I could have all the self fulfillment in the world but it will mean absolutely nothing.
Author AHardDaysNight Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 I struggle with confidence sometimes, but I genuinely enjoy and love life. And I have many female friends, who I don't blame for my predicament. My biggest problem is confidence with women I'm attracted to. But that's not their fault...it's mine. And it's up to me to let go of that.
Red Arremer Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I get the feeling that people on this board think that if you don't have confidence around women that it means you constantly mope around with an Eeyore-like attitude. Always negative and a completely non-confident mess in everything (or most things) that you do. Which is, to me, completely 100% wrong. Anyone who has seen me in a debate, or in the gym, or on the basketball court or with some friends would never get the impression that I had confidence issues. Why? Because I am able to compartmentalize and segregate my issues with women from the rest of my life. The only thing that will make me more confident around women is to actually experience some success with women and dating. Until then I could have all the self fulfillment in the world but it will mean absolutely nothing. I would empty quote this, but that whole 10 characters thing.
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