Nohbody Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 (edited) I'm bored. So I decided I will categorize something; the readers of this board! Lurkers/Pain Voyeurs Are they here for the show? Do they love to watch you wallow in your misery and pain? Are they afraid that what they have to say won't be right? Are they simply too hurt themselves to help another? No one in this group is talking, so we can only speculate as to what their true (sinister?) intentions are. First Responders/Meet and Greeters Like an EMT at the scene of a broken heart attack, the first responders scour the boards for unanswered or poorly answered cries for help and do their best to give immediate first aid to the injured love muscle. Advice, consolation, a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board, or advice on where to look for specific help on the board is provided in a timely manner, as well as a warm "Welcome to Hell". Teachers/Cult Leaders These individuals have something that they would like to share with us. They have, by virtue of experience or some deep seated empathetic intuition advice that you simply cannot ignore. You may agree with it, you may not. They may not always make sense, but when they do it's like someone just tore the wool from your eyes and suddenly your problem can be viewed in a whole new light. These Gurus are strongly opinionated, and can be quick to anger. Bitter-Tongued Sage The bitter-tongued sage has been broken and put back together... but there remains a deep-seated bitterness about the way in which his or her previous relationship ended, his or her own self, or some other factor that is occasionally alluded to should you sift through their long lines of responses and started threads. The advice is given with the best of intention, but there is always a roughness to it that rubs the recipient a little raw. The bitter-tongued sage knows that no knowledge comes without cost - so be prepared to pay the toll when dealing with these LSrs The Well Intentioned/The Broken They are very rarely the first to post advice or comments in a thread. When they do post, it is often restating something someone else already said (possibly in the same thread) with a slight twist. Or sometimes they give terrible advice, because they are in a terrible place, themselves. Quite often the well intentioned are working through their own pain right now and are only beginning to offer some of the difficult lessons they have learned and insights they have gained through their sufferings. However, like any disgusting pupae, the well intentioned will no doubt one day erupt through their chrysalis of rejection and heartbreak and emerge as a beautiful butterfly - returning to the board to share with us their success stories and offering great advice based on their own experience. They become beacons of hope that we can be happy again, and we never needed that other person to be that way in the first place. N00bz You're here because someone just broke your heart. Your story has been heard a thousand times, and will be heard again a thousand more. The details change but the plot remains the same. We're here to help you. Welcome to Hell. Anyone else have any categories? Where do you fall? (First Responder) Edited August 29, 2011 by Nohbody
Buttercup84 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Broken and meet and greeters . This post made me smile.
D-Lish Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Sometimes I am a "teacher", sometimes I am "first responder"... And sometimes, after being on LS for 6 years I fall into crisis and fall back into feeling like a newbie. One thing that annoys me is when newbies come in and suck the life and experience out of the forum and never give anything back.
shayla Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I keep praying that I will not be the bitter woman, but at times, I feel just that way. I guess I'd call myself well intentioned/ broken. sigh
Graceful Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 None of the above. I call them like I see them. I read posts and make a snap judgement about my ability to help. Doesn't matter if I am the first responder (and I have been many times) or the 21st responder. I direct my posts and post for the primary (or sole) purpose of helping the OP. That is my goal. My category is "Surgical / Gut Responder" - Posts solely based on a gut response to the person in need of help or advice. Selective. Not prolific. Goes straight to the wound, cuts it open, attempts to cleanse it, applies a bandage, and leaves the wounded with helpful information or guidance to take care of the wound. The rest is up to the OP. They either keep the wound clean, or they get it dirty again, requiring more surgery. I keep a watchful eye out for updates, and re-post, as I am loyal, and want everyone to succeed and feel better. Note: I am also a voyeur. And I challenge anyone here, or elsewhere, to deny this tendency, at least where the online landscape is concerned.
Ajax Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 My category is "Surgical / Gut Responder" - Posts solely based on a gut response to the person in need of help or advice. Selective. Not prolific. Goes straight to the wound, cuts it open, attempts to cleanse it, applies a bandage, and leaves the wounded with helpful information or guidance to take care of the wound. The rest is up to the OP. They either keep the wound clean, or they get it dirty again, requiring more surgery. I keep a watchful eye out for updates, and re-post, as I am loyal, and want everyone to succeed and feel better. While reading Graceful's description of her category, I had the M*A*S*H theme music playing in my head. She's like LoveShack's very own Hawkeye Pierce. Only prettier. I'm also not sure I can fit myself into any one of these categories, but I have found that I tend to respond to those threads with few or no replies, like the "greeter."
FinOuch Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 (edited) I would assume that the answer would change for most individuals depending on their length of time on the board and mood. Obviously I started out as a heartbroked N00b. At this point, some times I'm The First Responder. Some times I'm the Well Intentioned. (I'm sure someone has already said exactly what I'm saying, but when there's two pages of responses I tend to get lazy in reading them all and just throw in my two cents) Most the time I aspire to be the Teach by sharing what I have and am learning through the recovery process. And of course, some posts hit the right (or wrong, I shoud say) chord and I'm definitely a Bitter-Tongued Sage. Edited August 29, 2011 by FinOuch
Author Nohbody Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 I knew I should have consulted Grace first. Ah well. Isn't she just a category of her own? So I'd hazard to add Repeat Offender - Love truly is a battlefield, and these are the hardened veterans of the LS boards. Unlucky in love, they haven't given up the search for 'the one', and we all cheer on their successes and are there to give them a hand during the setbacks. It's important to remember that every relationship you'll ever have is just practice for the last one. That's the one that's going to really count.
Graceful Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 You did it again, I'm howling! Thanks, Ajax, very clever of you actually. I'm flattered to be Hawkeye's female counterpart! Then there's Hot Lips Houlihan, you know ... let's leave that one alone! I just hope others come here and find something to smile about once in a while -- that's a good sign of healing. I've got the laughing and smiling thing nailed, that's for sure, and it feels pretty good. While reading Graceful's description of her category, I had the M*A*S*H theme music playing in my head. She's like LoveShack's very own Hawkeye Pierce. Only prettier. I'm also not sure I can fit myself into any one of these categories, but I have found that I tend to respond to those threads with few or no replies, like the "greeter."
Graceful Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Forgiven, NB. No slackin' next time, though. This reminds me of the way I used to write a "last will and testament" when I'd leave a job (when I was younger, like jobs I had over the summer in HS and college). I'd "leave" everyone on the staff with a thought or say something I enjoyed about their personality. For you it would be: I hereby leave Nohbody the title of "His Royal Hotness" -- try not to break too many hearts along the way, even though it will be inevitable with a guy like you." So run with it. Breakups be damned. PS: The last, newly added category has merit. The truth is -- people outgrow relationships. They keep trying to force fit themselves into an old relationship that no longer works, that no longer fits and is no longer suitable. If you're not growing together, you're growing apart. If you can accept that all relationships are not meant to last (or are not built to last, just like a GM car, for example ) -- then you just have to get back on your feet and try again. Every time you go through a breakup, you're just getting closer to the right person, as long as you're learning. Agreed. I knew I should have consulted Grace first. Ah well. Isn't she just a category of her own? Repeat Offender - Love truly is a battlefield, and these are the hardened veterans of the LS boards. Unlucky in love, they haven't given up the search for 'the one', and we all cheer on their successes and are there to give them a hand during the setbacks. It's important to remember that every relationship you'll ever have is just practice for the last one. That's the one that's going to really count.
GgirlBgirl Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 In the N00bz description, you should add that these people have probably talked their friends', their family's, and the bus driver's ears off about their pain. In order to not ruin these relationships, they find that safe haven that is this board where they can heal in their own time and terms.
antinko Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I'm a teacher, but also a scientist. I tend to try things out and then report on my findings with mixed results.
Trovador Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 What about Post Recovery Visitor (I really don't like the sound of lurker or stalker, too close to real life experiences of many of us LSs, ha ha!) or something to that effect? I am pretty sure there are fellows who for the most part have moved over. It's not that I don't need some advice or that I wouldn't like to share some experiences of mine, but now that I am -for most purposes- free of the pain of the break up that brought me here, if I am going to be honest, I don't see the urgent need to come here frequently... Besides, for some strange reason (or maybe not so strange), the same motive that brought me to the forum, kind of "resurfaces" when I am on LS. Yep, being here reminds me of a person who was sort of important in my life not so long ago. Ha, I don't even call her an "ex" any more... There's no pain nor sadness nor something meaningful, just the memories that, I am aware, never will fade... and those memories are more like... bothersome, so I just come here once in a while, to read some messages, make some little contribution if I may, and reinvigorate myself.. I feel fine nowadays, but even so I can do well with some of your strength and common sense, dear mates... Thanks for your help...
Author Nohbody Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 Trovador, that's a good point. And thanks for sharing your experience. Wish you the best!
Green21 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I would put myself somewhere between a n00b (despite that sounding like something that a 14 year-old that plays World of Warcraft would say) and the Well Intentioned/Broken. As much as I do care about others I don't really have much advice to offer myself. The whole idea of experiencing such an upsetting breakup is new to me. So I end up just reiterating posts according to my own situation. I do mean well and I appreciate the opportunity to vent, even if I feel guilty about it from time to time.
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