Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 You will stop resenting it once you realize that you've been praying to a false god (Hollywood). And I'm not resenting for what it is, but how it adversely affected my life all the way til now...I often refer to it as my curse...
D-Lish Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I know...and I hear this all the time, both on and off LS. But I can't help but think, why would this girl want an Asian guy when there's a slew of white guys to choose from...? It stems from my grade school days...a girl shouldn't have to settle for Asian if she doesn't have to...and around here, she doesn't have to... Chokie, it makes me so sad to hear you have a problem with your own ethnicity. It's heartbreaking to hear you admit you feel this way:(. You're right, I cannot relate- I am sure if I moved to Japan, dating would become a lot different for me! As I said, I live in an Asian community/pocket. I've never had an Asian guy approach me or even look in my direction, lol. The only Asian guy that pays attention to me is the older Korean guy at my local convenience store- when I stop in he always lights up and says "ohhhhhhh, 'pitty' (pretty:love:) 'gur' (girl) wit (with) two dogs"... That always makes my day. Unless he's actually telling me "I pitty you that you have dogs":laugh: You have to stop beating yourself up, seriously. The community I live in has me reflecting that Asian men aren't really interested in white women. I'm thinking that's because there are so many Asian women living in the same community.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Not possible...the government owns me...indefinitely...though I might get a chance to live in Japan after my three years in California... Japan is one place in Asia where you probably don't want to go (they don't like the chinese and other non-japanese asians over there from what I hear). As for the government "owning you indefinitely", there are ways around that.
Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 As for the government "owning you indefinitely", there are ways around that. It's actually by my choice, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love what I do.
Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 lolololol!!! What you listed are not typical characteristics of Asians at all; you are just crazy! OP's problem is that he grew up in a white area so now he is like a "banana" yellow on the outside and white on the inside. If you move to So Cal it is COMPLETELY different from D.C; there are Asian's EVERYWHERE in L.A and O.C and many of them do not speak bad English nor are they passive nor "gansta" or "ghetto" or whatever. I think O.P would fit in with Asian people who are more "American" than Asian, like the ones that are super assimilated and the fact is that the large majority of Asians in O.C are like that; white collared, professional, speak proper etc. Almost all of the young professional Asians in South OC; Irvine are like that, preppy, speak perfect English etc. OP was probably exposed to real "fobby" or "ghetto" Asians, was traumatized and now assumes ALL Asians are like that. In O.C there are lots of Asian couples; many of them both attractive and americanized and successful. I don't see the thing about Asian women ALL flocking towards white guys here. And you're probably right about all this...I guess I'll get to find out in a few months when I move out there...but it doesn't matter what I think are Asian characteristics...it's what women believe based on prevailing stereotypes...because they are ultimately the ones who choose whether to give a guy a chance...what I think is quite irrelevant in all of that, yes...?
Tybalt Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I live on the west coast and I see Asian couples, as well as interracial couples where one party is Asian everywhere. And, one of my good friends is Chinese, and when we go out and meet people, we always have to check in with each other. She *only* dates Asian men, and since I can also be attracted to the same "type," we have to make sure we don't step on each other's toes! I'm thinking there is definitely something in geographical locations/social attitudes. Of course that doesn't solve this sort of "racial dysmorphic disorder" thinking. You're really open, though, to feedback - and I hope this willingness to take in information is going to lead to a breakthrough.
Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 As I said, I live in an Asian community/pocket. I've never had an Asian guy approach me or even look in my direction, lol. The only Asian guy that pays attention to me is the older Korean guy at my local convenience store- when I stop in he always lights up and says "ohhhhhhh, 'pitty' (pretty:love:) 'gur' (girl) wit (with) two dogs"... That always makes my day. Unless he's actually telling me "I pitty you that you have dogs":laugh: :laugh: You have to stop beating yourself up, seriously. The community I live in has me reflecting that Asian men aren't really interested in white women. I'm thinking that's because there are so many Asian women living in the same community. But it appears you do sort of understand...in a similar vein to your community, the ones I've lived in all my life have had me reflecting that women in general, white or not, are not interested in Asian men...just because there's plenty of white dudes to go around...no need to resort to desperate measures...
Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Of course that doesn't solve this sort of "racial dysmorphic disorder" thinking. You're really open, though, to feedback - and I hope this willingness to take in information is going to lead to a breakthrough. Hmmm, I've heard the term dismorphic disorder used with the body variety, which some might argue I suffer a little of, but never in terms of race...but it certainly makes sense here...I suppose it can be approached in the same way...?
Feelsgoodman Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 It's actually by my choice, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love what I do. You love what you do...yet you hate who you are. Interesting. Personally, I think you just don't have the balls to change your life in a radical way. You'd rather continue this pointless, miserable existence than step outside of your comfort zone.
PJKino Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I just had a conversation about this with my new girlfriend of one month. She asked me whether I found it difficult to ask her out. I said no, not particularly. This was the RIGHT answer. She said she feels it's very important that a man make the first move like that. Her next quote was “I don’t want to date a p**sy”, with a note of slight CONTEMPT for men who do not or can not ask a woman out. She went on to say that if a man acts like he just wants to be friends, she puts him in the friend zone and he will never come out. I think this is very common. Scott Of course women want it like that,that way they dont have to put their neck on the line or risk rejection and put it all on the guy I hate wome ncallign out mens manhood just because they might be a ltitle shy or fear approaching women at times
D-Lish Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 :laugh: But it appears you do sort of understand...in a similar vein to your community, the ones I've lived in all my life have had me reflecting that women in general, white or not, are not interested in Asian men...just because there's plenty of white dudes to go around...no need to resort to desperate measures... You're thinking in a silly manner my friend. I DO understand what it is like to grow up in a community where everyone was caucasion and being caucasion myself, I was pretty sheltered. I moved to the big city and I am definitely a minority now. Even within my company in my region, I am one of a few caucasions in my company! I can tell you right now. Of the girls that work for me- there is an East Indian girl dating a Japanese guy, A girl from Thailand (half white) dating a Chinese man, A black girl that is in love with the Fedex guy that she assumes is Korean, a white girl married to a Chinese man, a Serbian girl that only dates Black men.... Stop beating yourself up. Do you have dating restrictions in terms of race?
Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 You love what you do...yet you hate who you are. Interesting. Personally, I think you just don't have the balls to change your life in a radical way. You'd rather continue this pointless, miserable existence than step outside of your comfort zone. I tend to keep my dating life compartmentalized from the rest of my life...and I must say, my life outside of relationships is far from miserable...I'd go as far as to say it's pretty close to damn perfect for where I'm at and what I've accomplished personally...but dating has always been something I've felt left behind...and that's where I get the sense of self-hatred...I can be at the top 5% of the population and not do something as simple as get a date that your average Joe white guy has no problem doing...that's when I start to resent myself...
Content Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I have to admit i rarely see asian or Indian guys with women of other races for whatever reason I do think theryes a neagtive stereotype of asians as smart but stoic passive guys And as much as its not pc to say a lot of women are sheep and slaves to what is popular via the media White women bang black guys at high rates now because black guys are seen through hollywood as cool dangeorus edgy good lovers etc All it takes is for one asian star to break through the stereotype become a sex symbol and these women will feel more comfortable with asian men
zengirl Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Hokie, would you date an Asian girl? Have you ever been attracted to an Asian girl? I've seen this idea/question come up a few times. . . and it does seem like you only like white girls. . . is that the case?
Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Hokie, would you date an Asian girl? Have you ever been attracted to an Asian girl? I've seen this idea/question come up a few times. . . and it does seem like you only like white girls. . . is that the case? I have dated predominantly white girls because that's what I had been exposed to most of my life. I can say with great certainty that the first time I regularly saw Asian women was in college, but I never talked to them since I had my white friends... I guess I would date an Asian girl if the opportunity arose, but to answer your question truthfully, yes, I do only seem to like white girls...
D-Lish Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I have dated predominantly white girls because that's what I had been exposed to most of my life. I can say with great certainty that the first time I regularly saw Asian women was in college, but I never talked to them since I had my white friends... I guess I would date an Asian girl if the opportunity arose, but to answer your question truthfully, yes, I do only seem to like white girls... Hokie- did yu see my response on page 6 at the bottom? Sometimes posts get lost because they remain on a page that ends. You need to move to the GTA.
zengirl Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I have dated predominantly white girls because that's what I had been exposed to most of my life. I can say with great certainty that the first time I regularly saw Asian women was in college, but I never talked to them since I had my white friends... I guess I would date an Asian girl if the opportunity arose, but to answer your question truthfully, yes, I do only seem to like white girls... I don't think there's anything wrong with that FTR. I just wondered. Can you think of any Asian girls you find attractive, physically? It might be that you're internalizing your own preferences to a degree as well, and that's contributing to your negative beliefs.
Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Hokie- did yu see my response on page 6 at the bottom? Sometimes posts get lost because they remain on a page that ends. You need to move to the GTA. Ah, I did miss it...saw zengirl's post first when it loaded a new page after my last post...yea, it seems that anywhere is better than where I am now...lovely...
Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 I don't think there's anything wrong with that FTR. I just wondered. Can you think of any Asian girls you find attractive, physically? It might be that you're internalizing your own preferences to a degree as well, and that's contributing to your negative beliefs. Uh...I don't know any off the top of my head to be honest...do you mean celebrities or people I know in real life? Because i dont actually know any Asian celebrities off the top of my head...and I don't know any Asian women in real life...it's sad, I know...
D-Lish Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Ah, I did miss it...saw zengirl's post first when it loaded a new page after my last post...yea, it seems that anywhere is better than where I am now...lovely... If you lived in my neighbourhood you'd be a great white shark with a pick of what you want to eat (or a great asian shark:lmao:) Are white girls your major preference? If not- you'd open yourself up to such a variety of options. I don't know any stereotypes associated with Asian males- only the stereotype that Asian females are submissive. I don't buy into that having met a variety of Asian women.
D-Lish Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Uh...I don't know any off the top of my head to be honest...do you mean celebrities or people I know in real life? Because i dont actually know any Asian celebrities off the top of my head...and I don't know any Asian women in real life...it's sad, I know... Jackie Chan? Bruce Lee?
Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 If you lived in my neighbourhood you'd be a great white shark with a pick of what you want to eat (or a great asian shark:lmao:) Including you??? :laugh: Are white girls your major preference? If not- you'd open yourself up to such a variety of options. I'd be lying if I said they weren't. I don't know any stereotypes associated with Asian males- only the stereotype that Asian females are submissive. I don't buy into that having met a variety of Asian women. I don't buy that one about Asian women either...but in DC, a great many that I've seen and the few that I've actually met seem pretentious as all hell...
Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Jackie Chan? Bruce Lee? Oh, I was thinking just females...of which I came up with none...
Author USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Do you think any of these girls are pretty? Angela Baby - Scroll down all the way down to see all her pics http://angelababy.xanga.com/ Yes, though her eyes looked freakishly large in some of the pics... And google Maria Ozawa and Misa Campo Those are "mixed" looking Asian girls. Yes and yes.
D-Lish Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Yes. including me- I've seen some really cute Asian guys in my complex- but they don't look at me, lol. I'm a skinny white girl, but I can't compete with the "petite" structure of a tiny Japanese girl. My ex was white- and he always talked about how much he loved Japanese women because they were so small. I'm 5'7" and 115 lbs, I went down to 108 lbs during that time with him because he made me feel so subconscious.
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