The Facebook Block

[jordjones]

It's customary practice for either the dumper or dumpee to block/defriend their ex on Facebook, however, the motives for this action can vary widely. On one end, the act of blocking an ex can be motivated by a sincere effort to move on or establish no contact. Alternatively, the act of blocking an ex can be an effort to conceal information (for cheaters) or be part of a visceral mind-game. In some cases the act of blocking is calculated, while in others the act was part of an emotional rampage.

 

In my case, my ex girlfriend (dumper) blocked me only after I indicated to her that I could not remain friends. At the same time, she left my mother - who often status updates about what I am doing.

 

What are your Facebook blocking stories? For those that have blocked, what were your motivations? How should one read into being unblocked? What are the motives there?

[olivec]

Its best to block or unfriend because eventually he or she is gunna have a new person in their lives. I know for myself I knew blocking my ex had to be done in order for me to heal and move on with my life.

[jordjones]

Were you the dumper or dumpee? How did the relationship end?

[D-Lish]

How do you know if you've been blocked? Does facebook notify you of that?

 

I cam home immediately after being dumped and removed my ex as a friend from facebook, I didn't block him because I knew I'd never be tempted to look at his profile, and I never have.

 

For me, I couldn't stand the torture of seeing his face or status updates pop up. I think when you breka up with someone, it's best to cut them out of your life completely. Why hasn't your mother deleted her? You should ask her to...

[olivec]

I was the one who got dumped unfortunately. ofcourse like a fool for months i tryed getting her back but it did no good and the last convo we had she told me basically she was done with me. we were together for 6 months started out as a long distance relationship until she decided to move to my city and got a new job. it wasnt long after that she started acting different/distant and ofcourse it was getting worse and i was getting more frustrated. I told her that and then she said she wanted nothing serious and wanted to be friends. I should of went nc and never looked back but after the breakup she was still contacting me telling me she felt bad and all this crap and ofcourse i got sucked in. That girl was a huge mistake and I wish I never met her. The only positive was that it only lasted 6 months thank god.

[jordjones]

D-Lish - I haven't asked my mom to defriend her because my ex and I have few mutual friends and I guess I feel that's a link I have into her life if I chose to take a peak (which I haven't). I know that's pretty weak, but I'm just a month into NC and still in love...but maintaining NC.

[M2155]

I posted on this topic recently http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t294497/

 

If you wish you never met her, you shouldn't care. I see the reason behind blocking to help heal yourself, not see what the other person it doing, staying mysterious yourself (you want them to wonder what you're up to). It's very possible the dumper wants to forget about you too. Some people do not need the daily reminder that someone is no longer in their life.

 

Some people think it gives the other person power to know because of them, you had to block them. Some say to use it to show your ex you are doing fine without them (if you are playing the "get them back" strategy).

 

Other people, FB really isn't that serious. I've hidden my ex for now but I might block him. I do need to forget.

[D-Lish]

D-Lish - I haven't asked my mom to defriend her because my ex and I have few mutual friends and I guess I feel that's a link I have into her life if I chose to take a peak (which I haven't). I know that's pretty weak, but I'm just a month into NC and still in love...but maintaining NC.

 

Well your mom is you mom- she's on your side I assume. If I was your mom I would have defriend her immediately.

 

Good for you for keeping up with the NC. It's hard, but it's the only avenue to healing unfortunately.

[Buttercup84]

My ex and I had a break up in Jan , lasted a few days , but I defriended him and messaged his sister to notify her that it would be too hard too remain in contact while I'm healing . She was ok with it . We got back together and she and his family refused to talk to me . My ex thought I was being too impulsive with deleting her , but in July he dumped me for good and what does he do ? Delete my friends and family right away . No messages to them . Such a hypocrite . I asked him to block me as I couldnt trust myself .

[LelouchIsZero]

How do you know if you've been blocked? Does facebook notify you of that?

 

While you're on your own acc, if you search for their name & their profile doesn't show up, this suggests that they've blocked you.

 

Removed my ex & then removed her family, which was hard for me to do, but necessary.

[lana_sa]

we broke up as friends,,we were friendly to eachother then we had a fight said bad things and he deleted me from friends...that was 9 days ago,since then nothing

[olivec]

I posted on this topic recently http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t294497/

 

If you wish you never met her, you shouldn't care. I see the reason behind blocking to help heal yourself, not see what the other person it doing, staying mysterious yourself (you want them to wonder what you're up to). It's very possible the dumper wants to forget about you too. Some people do not need the daily reminder that someone is no longer in their life.

 

Some people think it gives the other person power to know because of them, you had to block them. Some say to use it to show your ex you are doing fine without them (if you are playing the "get them back" strategy).

 

Other people, FB really isn't that serious. I've hidden my ex for now but I might block him. I do need to forget.

 

I agree with what you said but for me blockin was a personal choice I made. But ofcourse everyone is different and has their own opinion.

[cat]

I was FURIOUS when I did it, but I deleted him for one reason only. Because I knew it would be too hard to see his updates. He used to comment on all my postings, and I knew it would be hard to know that he could see what I put out there and he was ignoring it. So, I guess that's two reasons.

 

For what it's worth, I miss him terribly and I want to know what he's up to--so I guess it's good I deleted him. Now that I'm not so angry anymore, there's no way I'd be able to avoid looking at his updates.

[M2155]

So I didn't block my ex (yet) and his new relationship status is staring me in the face when he didn't do that with me. I have hidden the page and looking less and less as I get on with my own business but now that I think about it he probably would prefer that I block him. Everyone is right though, no real good to keeping them. I think deep down I think I can ease my way back into his life or at least crack this ugly way he left things. I've accepted that he moved on (i have no choice).

[Beachgirl8]

It's been about a month since the final "break up" with the last guy. I put break up in quotes because we were really just friends anyway since we weren't having sex... That bizarre story is in another post in case anyone is interested.

 

For 2 weeks after we tried to remain friends, but he was getting annoyed at me because I refused to come over his house anymore- then he started fb chatting with me which is something he never did while we were together. Then I saw some girl post "good morning" on his wall or something stupid and it annoyed me (could have been anything I know) but the point is I was wasting brain energy on stress from FACEBOOK. I thought to myself, this is ridiculous and unfriended him immediately. Also stopped calling and texting at that same time. So I guess I'm "NC" or whatever but really I just think I'm looking out for myself and my own sanity. I have better things to do than communicate with a guy who recently told me he does not want to be my boyfriend, no matter how stupid the reason is.

 

I don't keep any other ex's or dates on fb either, except my junior high school boyf who tells me happy bday once a year. Not because I'm mad at them or can't handle it, I just don't like to keep a record on my fb of guys I've gone out with.

[Beachgirl8]

Oops accidental double post

Edited August 30, 2011 by Beachgirl8
Double post

[M2155]

Wow, I'm FB friends with all my exes. But we broke up "BF" (before Facebook). I mean some of them because of our FB exchanges I've actually been able to see them in real life as friends.

 

But for the immediate situation, it's not neccessary and you are so right about expending energy. I feel ashamed Facebook is even this big a deal.

 

The world today But it's funny people hook up via FB but we have to block you when it's over. Haha.

[D-Lish]

While you're on your own acc, if you search for their name & their profile doesn't show up, this suggests that they've blocked you.

 

Removed my ex & then removed her family, which was hard for me to do, but necessary.

 

Good to know. What about if you have a "mutual" friend that's on your facebook and you go to their page and search their friends- would a person that blocked you not show up as well?

 

I "broke up" up with my best friend and I knew she was getting married recently and I tried to look her up from a from a mutual friends page- I couldn't find her anywhere- I don't know if that's because I blocked her (which I did) or she has blocked me. I just wanted to see what her dress looked like:cool:.

 

I have ex's on my fb that I dated years ago- but I'm only able to have them on there because I have zero feelings for them now.

 

The first thing I did after getting dumped was remove the ex right away. I don't want to know anything about what he is doing, not knowing is better than following their lives.

[M2155]

I think when you block someone or you are blocked, you don't show up at all. I blocked my mom and I can't see anything she posts on my siblings pages, she doesn't show up as a mutual friend, in search or anythiing. Aint that a shame? I can block my mom (just weird and nosy) but not my ex?

 

I have no intention of being his emotional tampon ever. I doubt he would try and come back after what he did with that big ego and how he is openly displaying his new r'ship. I'm wising up big time;). But I would love it he tries so I can give him the pause. But that's off topic, I still need to block.

[D-Lish]

I think when you block someone or you are blocked, you don't show up at all. I blocked my mom and I can't see anything she posts on my siblings pages, she doesn't show up as a mutual friend, in search or anythiing. Aint that a shame? I can block my mom (just weird and nosy) but not my ex?

 

I have no intention of being his emotional tampon ever. I doubt he would try and come back after what he did with that big ego and how he is openly displaying his new r'ship. I'm wising up big time;). But I would love it he tries so I can give him the pause. But that's off topic, I still need to block.[/QUOTE]

 

Yes you do. If you can find the strength to block your mother, you can do it with your ex.

 

I am sure you went through years of pain before you got to the point to block your mother- and it must have been a hard decision. (I'm sure that's another story).

 

I'm sure you look back and think "I should have blocked her years ago"...

 

That's a lesson learned- and you can take something from that experience and apply that experience to your ex. Delete and Block him girl. Think he doesn't know how to reach you if he wants to get in touch with you? He can.

[M2155]

LOL! I didn't block my mom because of issues, she just talks too much:D Next thing I know I'll get all kinds of questions from Great Aunt Lucy at Thanksgiving dinner.

 

I'm feeling over the ex today. And I need to kill Facebook for a while period.

 

But thank you, that made me smile.

[flitzanu]

D-Lish - I haven't asked my mom to defriend her because my ex and I have few mutual friends and I guess I feel that's a link I have into her life if I chose to take a peak (which I haven't). I know that's pretty weak, but I'm just a month into NC and still in love...but maintaining NC.

 

 

i'd have everyone cutting ties. your loyal friends should do this anyway (i'd think).

 

as for HER blocking YOU, mine did that. she posted my picture to failblog 10 months after our breakup. someonoe found it, i then made it my profile picture, and my friends insulted her for it, and she blocked me.

 

incidentally, HER page is totally private so i've never been able to see it. my page is public. so...her blocking me only means SHE can't see my page...as i said, i couldn't see hers anyway. so yeah wtf? chicks are weird.

 

 

ok ok, SOME chicks. exes, mainly.

Edited August 30, 2011 by flitzanu
forgot a thought

[GinaM]

I blocked my ex because I want to protect myself

I know if I see him with other girls my heart will be bleeding and I will suffer like in a hell

I wanted to stop checking his status and to concentrate on my own life instead

I also deleted all mutual friends because mostly they were his friends not mine

Like this nothing can remind me so far of him

May be in a future we can be friends again but not now

[Moetato]

I deleted my whole Facebook account. Twice, in the history of me dealing with the network. My first deletion was during the lowest point in my life- I lost my father AND found out that my then boyfriend was cheating (shortly after) with a so called friend. They were 200 miles away, and I figured the people that I really needed to be around/gave a damn about me, were here at home and I knew/they knew where to find me.

 

I just deleted my FB again. Broke up with a guy who I'd been seeing for most of this year. He's moved across the state and started med school. He wants to be friends, but I know I can't just flip the romantic switch to platonic like that, and I told him I needed to 'disappear' if we were going to be friends. (TBH, I'm not even going to bank on becoming friends; time will tell though) There was just too much temptation for torturing myself seeing his 'new' life. And once again, those that I want to be in touch with, know where to find me. And I know where they are.

 

It's scary how omnipresent Facebook is.