JohnEl Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 The thought of me and my ex actually seeing other people makes me sick. I can't imagine being with anyone else. She's already with someone else and it really hurts. Its hard to imagine having sex with a different person. I think about her sleeping with someone else and it's sickening. I don't want to be with anyone but her. Im sad that we will never sleep together anymore. Its a horrible thought. Shes the only person ive been with for the last three years and its gone. We were in love. I miss her so much and it's getting worse. I need her to come back but this breakup is real and I don't know what else to do. I try and stay busy but I can't get my mind off of it. Anyone have thoughts or advice on how to handle the thought/fear of me and her being with other people. I can't take it anymore!
Dblock10 Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 is this your first love? i would say turn negatives into positives. like for me, i know my ex has slept with "x" amount of guys before me. so now that i'm not with her, as long as i dont find out about them, it wont bother me. however it is hard for you as you know she is already having sex with this other guy. but when this also happend to me with my other ex, it put me off her completely. i couldnt imagine wanting to "go back there" with her in that way. it tarnished her for me. so yeah, why dont you feel excited that you will have sex with a new girl? remember how exciting it is! you got to look at the positives
antinko Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I had a set back tonight too. Here I am doing 'well' feeling I'm well past caring too much about what my ex is doing and her friends walk into the bar I'm at. I know that if they're there, she's going to be there too so what do I do? I got up and made a discreet exit. Even though I want to make it work with another girl, I don't want to see my ex right now. Honestly, ignorance has been bliss and I don't want to shatter it. My point is that moving on is a natural process. You can do a lot of things to help you move on, but your feelings a law unto themselves. It's not really a case of controlling your emotions, but rather how you're going to protect yourself when they 'happen'. Right now, you're in the spectacularly ****ty stage of imagining your ex with someone else and it's horrible. I can promise you that it'll get better though. I still don't like the idea of my ex being with another man but I accept it and I cope with the feelings by knowing we weren't right for each other. I don't think about all the bad things about her, but I do make myself remember what I found frustrating about her. I also know that what we shared was unique to us and no other person will share that with her. The fact is, you will find someone more suitable than your ex in time and you will get over her. It's very raw at the moment because she seems to 'have' someone but you don't. She seems to be happy and you know you're not. It's an illusion, though. If she's showing the behaviour you described in all your threads, she's not working through her emotions properly and she's setting herself up for a major fall. You do actually have the advantage because you're confronting your break up right now.
pandora_be Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 is this your first love? however it is hard for you as you know she is already having sex with this other guy. but when this also happend to me with my other ex, it put me off her completely. i couldnt imagine wanting to "go back there" with her in that way. it tarnished her for me. actually it's strange that we dudes only see her having sex with another guy as the end. but the truth is as soon as your gf or ex starts thinking about other guy in specific, it's already game over. usually when a girl is really into you, she's going to want to have sex with you and you alone. most girls I know are very like that. only the last girl was a bit different, going to break-up right now and actually I hope she gets her other guy quickly so I don't have to hope anymore. I just know as long as something like that doesn't happen she will still be 'clean' to me, even after all emotional pain she caused me in the last few weeks.
Author JohnEl Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 Yea she is my first love. I loved her a lot and she loved me a lot. Things just got messed up and she walked away. I try to think about being with someone else but I don't want to. I don't want to sleep with another person. I don't want her to sleep with another person. I imagine her getting off with someone else and it makes me want to puke. I still can't believe she's gone and I can't handle the thought of us ending up with other people. I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together and she felt The same way. She just didn't know I felt that way til It was too late. I don't get how she can be with someone else so quickly. I don't think it's a rebound anymore. She's completley moved on from me and I'm still depressed about the breakup. I feel like I'll never be happy again and that I'll never find someone else I would want to marry. This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
Freesia120 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I know where you are coming from...I had a setback today!!.My friend bumped into my X with his new galfriend yesterday. I knew this day will come,it's beem 3 months since we broke up.As someone has mentioned ignorance is bliss and mine has been shattered today...As long as I didn't know how he was doing,I didn't care too much.Hope this awful feeling doesnt too long Ugh!!
Queen of Hearts 10 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 John, I'm so sorry for the sting that this has brought you ! I too am standing here in the wreckage looking for something left. But as I see your hurt it seemed to say to me this is closure for us. Sex is the hardest last tie between two people to break. I waited a year now for him to come back. I just found out this month about his new GF. All I do is think about the two of them in bed as she an- ounced to me over a text message ! Is that love or just sex for them ? It doesn't matter any more because I'm out of it. He is used goods, and not mine. The only way will be for me to fall in love and be treated right now with some new man and NO BETRAYAL ever showing up. This won't kill us but it will make us wiser. Queen of Hearts 10
JB93 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 John- would it be okay if I messaged you. I obviously cant through here, but maybe through fb/skype/aim? I am saying this cus your posts genuinely hurts me the EXACT same way. I am in the SAME exact boat as you. Sometimes you need someone who is in the same spot as you to make you feel better... hit a brotha up.
Author JohnEl Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Yea please message me. You wanna Message thru Facebook?
JB93 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Yea please message me. You wanna Message thru Facebook? I cant message on this site (doesnt ahve an option).
Rory12345 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 JohnEl, I was in a similar place to you 3 months ago. She flaunted him in front of me after our last exam. It hurt for a while but it actually was the best thing to happen in that situation. It made me realise that she was never coming back and had moved on and that was what I needed to do. So, here I am now, feeling the best I have ever felt. It'll be difficult, yes, but you will get through it and come out a stronger person. Keep posting on here. If you want to message if you feel down, go ahead. It can't always rain. Cheers, Rory12345
Diatribes Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I cant message on this site (doesnt ahve an option). Click on someone's name and you will get a drop down menu with pm option.
JB93 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Click on someone's name and you will get a drop down menu with pm option. wont let me-doesnt have a pm option. I am not paying for this website so that could be the reason
JB93 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Yea please message me. You wanna Message thru Facebook? gimme ur fb name or skype name?
Author JohnEl Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 gimme ur fb name or skype name? yea i have a facebook. lenich
JB93 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 yea i have a facebook. lenich missouri state? Reliance bank?
Author JohnEl Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 missouri state? Reliance bank? yup. now that you know who i am, is there a way i can delete my info on here ?
CopingGal Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 John, as some people know, my ex jumped into a relationship within 7 days of our breakup. He threw this woman in my face 4 different times. I felt like I was going to die...but that was in for me. I've been NC ever since.
JB93 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 yup. now that you know who i am, is there a way i can delete my info on here ? just edit your post adding you now
Author JohnEl Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 just edit your post adding you now ok sounds good
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