funnyface Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I need to get a reimbursement check from my ex... I knew that he had it, but I've been putting it off, trying to think of a way to get it without breaking NC. I went so far as to message his BOSS (we're Facebook friends), asking if I could get it. He told me that my ex has it and I would have to ask him! (I'm pretty sure he thinks we're still together!) I really don't want to start explaining to his boss "WELL actually we are broken up.. and I'm not speaking to him.. so can you play telephone and tell HIM that I said for him to get it to me?" I just think it makes me look crazy and don't think its classy or right for me to 1) dump personal business on his boss, and 2) tell his boss what to do because of our situation. So NOW.... I must email him and ask him for it. Ugh. What should I write or say to just be as direct as possible? I have been good with NC but I am a girl who likes to be classy in a breakup, so I don't want to be rude about it. Honestly, I was even thinking of letting it go, but its $200+ so I don't want to just throw that kind of money away!
M2155 Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I think it's fair. You are breaking strictly for business purposes! I actually would prefer to call on this case b/c email seems so easy to blow off, but you would have to be very strict to keep it on point and not show emotion and it also may hurt your progress. Yeah I would email him and just keep it to the point. "Hate to bother you but XYZ informed me that you had my check and wanted to find out the easiest way to get it from you. Thanks for your help" Or you could send him a stamped self-address envelope My ex actually owes me $100 but he forgot as I didn't sweat it since he was having a hard time and you give/take. But now that he's out of the picture I want it back:o
Author funnyface Posted September 8, 2011 Author Posted September 8, 2011 (edited) Thanks... I wrote him a simple Facebook message about it (almost exactly what you wrote) that night, to which he responded that its on his desk in NY, but he's still in CA, so he will get it to me as soon as possible. Then it was a huge stream of I'm sorry's, and continuing to saying that he'll get it to me... I just tried saying "ok" over and over and signed off. Now its pushing 2 weeks and I still haven't gotten it. Apparently he can't get his **** together enough to leave CA and go back to NY, so he keeps postponing his trip back... its just all so hurtful. Him moving back, me asking for such a simple thing, and he can't just have his boss cancel the check and have his BOSS send it to me, to take care of it and owe me one small favor in the midst of the pain and confusion he caused me. It just reminds me of the last month of our relationship, when even the simplest things, like answering an email about how he's hurting me, or just saying I love you or holding my hand... he couldn't bring himself to do. How all the promises were broken, how everything about "I would do anything for you", "I would never do anything to hurt you" was all a huge lie. Today was just a bad day.... I found out that he is apparently coming back to NY today (I think for real this time). Don't know for how long. I just felt so down. My mom keeps asking me whats going on with the check.. she gets mad at me for not reminding him about it again, for not standing up for myself. I know I should be mad at myself too... but I am just not in a mood to fight, or to even think about him. Its been a rough day. Edited September 8, 2011 by funnyface
M2155 Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Does he not have someone at his office that can go in and get the check? What's with the runaround. Or can you tell him to let someone let YOU come get the check? Keep your head up, he's not worth your anguish. Get your money and don't pay him any attention after that. Sounds like he will try to tempt you though as this check thing sounds silly.
Author funnyface Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 its on his desk... at his apartment.
M2155 Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Oh okay. I guess that makes it a little more complicated. Yeah if he doesn't get on it quickly then the get his boss to do it route sounds more promising. The fact that your need is obviously not a priority for him because surely he could have found a way:mad:
Author funnyface Posted September 13, 2011 Author Posted September 13, 2011 3 weeks, still nothing. I keep waiting for it to come, hoping he would at least hold that one, small promise. I can't believe he doesn't have the decency to do this one small thing for me. It's SO hurtful and disrespectful. I don't know what I've done for him to play this game with me. I've actually been doing so well, until I remember the absurdity of this situation and wonder why he's withholding this stupid check from me. I resorted to emailing his boss again today.
Mack05 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 If it's 200 dollars (or slightly more) I would leave it go. It's not worth getting my feelings hurt all over again for. If you can't survive without 200 dollars then you have far bigger things to worry about then the end of the relationship.. From the book getting past your breakup -> I just need to give this stuff back...People become very creative in finding ways to stay in contact with their exe's. One of the most innocent ploys you hear about is when one person insists on retrieving something - a piece of clothing, a household item that belongs to him or her. Think about how important the item really is. If you need to return it, put it in a box and mail it. No note, no nothing. If you are the one who wants it, think about it. Is it worth more than your sanity?Probably not. Making a clean break is important, so clear up loose ends immediately. Avoid keeping anything or leaving anything that can be asked for later on. If you still have things return them. If there are things you have left behind ask for them once more (if its important to you) otherwise forget it and move on. Leave it go Funny. It's not worth it..And if he can't pay it back without gameplaying then neither is he..Let it go
TheDovic Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Really short and to the point with NO EMOTION. Just light i.e. "Hey I need to get that reimbursement cheque from you. Would you mind posting it to me? Thanks"
Author funnyface Posted September 13, 2011 Author Posted September 13, 2011 If it's 200 dollars (or slightly more) I would leave it go. It's not worth getting my feelings hurt all over again for. If you can't survive without 200 dollars then you have far bigger things to worry about then the end of the relationship.. From the book getting past your breakup -> I just need to give this stuff back...People become very creative in finding ways to stay in contact with their exe's. One of the most innocent ploys you hear about is when one person insists on retrieving something - a piece of clothing, a household item that belongs to him or her. Think about how important the item really is. If you need to return it, put it in a box and mail it. No note, no nothing. If you are the one who wants it, think about it. Is it worth more than your sanity?Probably not. Making a clean break is important, so clear up loose ends immediately. Avoid keeping anything or leaving anything that can be asked for later on. If you still have things return them. If there are things you have left behind ask for them once more (if its important to you) otherwise forget it and move on. Leave it go Funny. It's not worth it..And if he can't pay it back without gameplaying then neither is he..Let it go I'm not going to be weak and just let it go, because me ex is being crazy and withholding it from me (its not even his money). And my job pays me very well, I can easily live without an extra $200. Its the principle of the thing. I went through hell for a month because of him, and all I tried to do was fix it... now, I'm not just going to retreat and let something like this go, just because he's playing games. Its my money, he's being a jerk, and I'm going to get it back. HOWEVER, I do agree with making a clean break. Thats why I am no longer speaking to him about it - I spoke to his boss directly. I emailed his boss, apologizing for dragging him into this again, but explaining that I reminded my ex about it three weeks ago and "for some reason I still haven't gotten it". Very polite, straight business. He actually is also equally confused and is siding with me... I eventually told him that we are broken up and his response was that it doesn't matter, he still needs to give me the check. He promised me that he would look into it right away and I thanked him.
Author funnyface Posted September 14, 2011 Author Posted September 14, 2011 Ok... I guess my boss spoke to my ex, because he instant messaged me, saying that he has it addressed and enveloped, and hes sorry but he will get it to me asap, but hes just totally broke and cant mail it. What...?! First of all, its a company expense, so he doesn't have to pay a dime. Second of all, even if he did... he doesn't have 35 cents for a stamp? Or just BORROW one from his job? I don't understand him. And yet, at least all of this is making it that much easier to get over him. I didn't even respond to his instant messages.
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