spicolli Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Its been about a month and a half since she left and I am still so devastated. We were together for two years and she was my everything. She is younger than I, her 23 me 28. She had a lot of issues when we first started dating. DWI, ill father, depression, but I saw the person underneath it all and fell hard. She did a lot for me, a ton really, and I did a lot for her as well but I struggled with pda especially when it was just her and my friends. Not that I wasn't proud to be with her, but I just didn't want to make anyone feel awkward around us. I know now that that hurt her worse than I ever gave thought to. I have been to therapy, talked to friends til im blue in the face, and taken myself off of the anti depressants I started after the breakup. I have friends over to hang out (I had to move out of the apartment we basically shared too many memories) but when im with anyone, there is always something missing. Her. I took her and all of her friends off of facebook immediately, as she did with mine. She took all off our pictures on fb down immediately, but the last relationship she was in her pictures with her ex were sill up until I asked her to take them down. She is also fb friends with her ex again, who she always said treated her terribly, I don't want to jump to conclusions but that in itself hurts terribly. I am really struggling bc im so much older and don't know where to meet girls and knowing guys will throw themselves at her and she will rebound is really killing me. I sent her dad a fb message about a month after the bu and beared my soul and he didn't even reply. Im really having a terribly hard time. I refuse to let go bc I know she is the one. Im looking for help. Please.
JB93 Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Hey bro- i feel ya. I just got outta my relationship. Same thing. 2 years. I was older, me 25, her 19. I will say this- and I shoulda listened to this before- AGE DOES MAKE a difference. Its not impossible, but it DOES make it more of challenge. The thing is, the more a challenge is, the more we try to over come it, thereby investing a LOT of emotions into the relationship. Take it away, and all that hard work you invested is now down the drain... I know its tough, I feel JUST LIKE YOU every freakin day. But, you only move is to MOVE FORWARD. FORWARD. do NOT dwell on what "was," think about future only. the past will hurt you. You need to save your own dignity and self respect. YOU KNOW you deserved better. Right now all you see is her. Right now all you think about is her. Right now all you can do is be plagued by the memories of her as it drags you into "hell." How do you over come this? NO CONTACT! Im serious. Do what I did. Throw out ALL reminders of her. Photos, letters, gifts, clothes, whatever you guys shared, OUT IN THE GARBAGE. Get rid of her number, her email, her fb, delete songs on your ipod that remind you of her. Im serious! You will feel a little better about yourself for doing this things. Afterall, the goal is to heal the hurt. TRUST ME on this, and then come back and we can go to the next step! PS- do NOT talk to her dad, her frineds, anyone related to her. I feel your pain.
Author spicolli Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 I did almost all of the things you reccomended almost immediately. All of our pictures, gone, songs, gone, letters she wrote, stuff she bought me. Everything. And I still can't shake it. I've been nc for about 5 weeks now. And it hasn't really helped. All it makes me think is why hasn't she bothered to contact me. Poeple say that female dumpers detactch from the relationship long before its over but I never saw this coming. I really can not get myself to stop thinking that she is the one. Its killing me.
JB93 Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I did almost all of the things you reccomended almost immediately. All of our pictures, gone, songs, gone, letters she wrote, stuff she bought me. Everything. And I still can't shake it. I've been nc for about 5 weeks now. And it hasn't really helped. All it makes me think is why hasn't she bothered to contact me. Poeple say that female dumpers detactch from the relationship long before its over but I never saw this coming. I really can not get myself to stop thinking that she is the one. Its killing me. You answered it yourself! Thats the reality of the situation. And my situation is exactly the same. it makes me sick to my stomach to EVEN think about her leaving me for another guy. Point is, she was probably slowly detaching herself from you and attaching to a new guy. She didnt wanna tell you at first (she was probably sincerely confused) because she didnt wanna risk telling you and then breaking up prematurely. So she kept you around till she was more "sure" things would work out with another guy then ditch you. Its a scary thought. hurts your ego. She was thinking about it WAY longer than the break up actually occurred, just letting you know this now. Your options are to move on, or try to sucker her back and fail, fail fail, and get even more hurt, look pathetic, and lose even more of your ego. Best thing you can do? focus on yourself, go to the gym, work out. Look HOT. then months or even a year down the road, you may run into her. Shes gonna then REALIZE what a mistake she made losing you. By then you have the power to give it another shot or ditch her. Doesnt matter if she has a bf.
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