Persephonexx Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I posted a month or so ago about my ex. Well it turns out he found a g/f. I never did NC and he ended up sleeping with both of us. I confronted him b/c he kept saying he regretted getting into a relationship with this girl but didn't know how to break up with her. I like a fool ate that up and let him string me along up until yesterday. He kept telling me ' Shes annoying, we have nothing in common, I love you and I owe you so much, etc etc ' So I gave him an ultimatum via text to not contact me until they broke up. Turns out I never got a reply from him of any sort and he is off introducing his new gf to his friends that just came out of town. How can he be such an ******* after almost 8 years of knowing me??? You guys called it and told me to stop talking to this guy, to love myself more. I ever dated someone else up until recently. I just feel numb and a sense of desperation so overwhelming I cant even function bc I REALLY love this guy, he was my best friend. Now I dont even know what he is thinking why he is doing this...
ScienceGal Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 So, today is day 1 of no contact. Everyone has to start somewhere. I know you still love him, but you deserve better (and better is out there... trust me!), and in time you will realize that.
Nohbody Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 That really sucks. Now: You are not an idiot, you are in love. Love makes fools of us all. You thought you could trust someone, and they broke your trust. That is not your fault. You did not do anything to deserve that. So: I hope you decide to initiate NC, and begin to move on. Take care of you, and eventually you will find someone who deserves you. But right now, it's time to heal your heartache and get over this douche bag. Good luck.
Author Persephonexx Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 I know its pretty lame to ask, b/c he should be the one winning me over... but is there anything I can do? He intially broke up with me b/c he said I was too nice and blah blah
Nohbody Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I wish there was. I'd have tried it already! I wouldn't, now. Read this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t265350/
bluenightowl Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I posted a month or so ago about my ex. Well it turns out he found a g/f. I never did NC and he ended up sleeping with both of us. I confronted him b/c he kept saying he regretted getting into a relationship with this girl but didn't know how to break up with her. I like a fool ate that up and let him string me along up until yesterday. He kept telling me ' Shes annoying, we have nothing in common, I love you and I owe you so much, etc etc ' So I gave him an ultimatum via text to not contact me until they broke up. Turns out I never got a reply from him of any sort and he is off introducing his new gf to his friends that just came out of town. How can he be such an ******* after almost 8 years of knowing me??? You guys called it and told me to stop talking to this guy, to love myself more. I ever dated someone else up until recently. I just feel numb and a sense of desperation so overwhelming I cant even function bc I REALLY love this guy, he was my best friend. Now I dont even know what he is thinking why he is doing this... I don't know the whole story of why you broke up, but I would definitely do your best to stay in NC. Not only will you look better and more attractive in his eyes, but each day you do it, you will regain some control of yourself. I recommend keeping a journal of each day you achieve NC and reward yourself for doing it from time to time. Slowly it will begin to feel better. I suspect this guy is also mixed up, you both are at the moment, but the best thing you can do is make yourself strong. I once had an ex contact me after a LTR breakup and I was dating someone else really early after the breakup. Believe me, I was not over her, but the new relationship helped me. In the end it was a rebound. This might be what is happening to him.
katie.x Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I don't know the whole story of why you broke up, but I would definitely do your best to stay in NC. Not only will you look better and more attractive in his eyes, but each day you do it, you will regain some control of yourself. I recommend keeping a journal of each day you achieve NC and reward yourself for doing it from time to time. Slowly it will begin to feel better. I suspect this guy is also mixed up, you both are at the moment, but the best thing you can do is make yourself strong. I once had an ex contact me after a LTR breakup and I was dating someone else really early after the breakup. Believe me, I was not over her, but the new relationship helped me. In the end it was a rebound. This might be what is happening to him. I'm building my response off this, I am in NC atm and I feel better and better each day. My ex is also with someone now, there is a strong possibility it's a rebound, and whilst it's hard to accept it, there is nothing you can do. So use this time to better yourself. I have starting working out, which gives you lovely endorphins , plus I am down 10 kilos since the break up and told by plenty of people I look amazing. I don't say this in a vein sense, but it gives me more positivity having complements from people, and it shows the people who do care about me and bother to show affection and care, helping to ignore the sad/negative feelings of the break up. It is possible your ex is simply rebounding, but some people need that as their way of moving on. But don't count out the possibility it could be more, as much as you probably don't wan it to be. I'm not sure how old you are but I think the odds are this relationship won't be forever and by the time it does end you will either no longer care or be in a better position to possibly try again with this guy, given he wants to try again too, as you have worked on yourself to grow. Bottom line, go NC and keep it that way. It's the best thing you can do. Trying anything other than this usually shows your ex they have power over you and if they aren't the best type of person, they will hold onto it, keeping you on the sidelines as plan B. You have to put YOU first.
bluenightowl Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I'm building my response off this, I am in NC atm and I feel better and better each day. My ex is also with someone now, there is a strong possibility it's a rebound, and whilst it's hard to accept it, there is nothing you can do. So use this time to better yourself. I have starting working out, which gives you lovely endorphins , plus I am down 10 kilos since the break up and told by plenty of people I look amazing. I don't say this in a vein sense, but it gives me more positivity having complements from people, and it shows the people who do care about me and bother to show affection and care, helping to ignore the sad/negative feelings of the break up. It is possible your ex is simply rebounding, but some people need that as their way of moving on. But don't count out the possibility it could be more, as much as you probably don't wan it to be. I'm not sure how old you are but I think the odds are this relationship won't be forever and by the time it does end you will either no longer care or be in a better position to possibly try again with this guy, given he wants to try again too, as you have worked on yourself to grow. Bottom line, go NC and keep it that way. It's the best thing you can do. Trying anything other than this usually shows your ex they have power over you and if they aren't the best type of person, they will hold onto it, keeping you on the sidelines as plan B. You have to put YOU first. I absolutely agree with katie.x This has been my experience when I've faced a breakup. I can tell you that in my above story, my ex contacted me when I was dating someone else. On the one hand it was incredibly painful to hear her voice. Every time she called me crying or unhappy it took me nearly two days to recover and I was already dating someone else. That rebound relationship lasted a few years, but I still had feelings for my ex throughout the whole time. As well, I now wrongly gave her hope by telling her that I didn't know where that relationship was going. I was telling the truth and in the end it that 2 year rebound didn't work out, and I suspect I knew it from day one, but it probably also gave my ex some hope. On the flip side, when I've been dumped, I've heard the same story from women. They didn't know what they wanted or if it would work out with their new boyfriend after dumping me. Sometimes it could be true, sometimes people just want you to feel better for the moment, not realizing they are creating hope in you. Then one time when I was dumped, I finally applied NC and within 6 weeks I had gotten over that person. Each day got better as well. Its painful at the start but losing your dignity and respect by your ex is far worse and painful knowing you just handed over all of that to them, not to mention it gives them no real reason to miss you because they know you'll eat up any crumb of attention.
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