Disillusioned Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 I went to a singles meetup on 8-26, and what a waste of my time it turned out to be. All of the members were very unfriendly toward me, and ignored me the whole time I was there. But I observed them, and the women held all the cards... they decided which men they wanted to talk to, and none of the men dared to butt in. Needless to say, this happened at an establishment where alcohol is served, and I couldn't drink because I had to drive. I went home disappointed (as usual), but I learned a lesson: I'm not going to join ANY singles group that has its meetups at places where alcohol is served. I just won't. After I got home, I e-mailed the organizer and told her exactly what I thought of her group and my experience with it---and promptly quit the group. I doubt she'll take the hint. But oh well... there are other singles meetup groups which aren't fueled by alcohol, I just need to search a little more to find them. I'm not going to ask my best male friend for any pointers, because according to him, all roads lead to college.
joeLove Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 If a particular activity is important to you, you can also create a meet-up about that activity. Let's say you like to salsa dancing. Create a meet-up about salsa dancing (if one doesn't already exist) and I'm sure, single women who like to salsa dance might join ... and you can go from there. I have found that, singles have better chances to meet other singles through a common activity, rather than advertising they are "single". I wouldn't date someone just because they are single. There has to be something in common between us ... Just my 5 cents ...
Mrlonelyone Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 My $.02 is to not waste your time with that. All that will happen, unless you change your attitude, is the women will decide they like some guy who isn't you and go after him. If you do bother with this, butt in. What have you got to loose? Either someone who already does not like you ends up not liking you OR by your butting in you somehow change their minds and perceptions. (In short don't be so nice....assert your needs just don't violate their boundaries.)
FinOuch Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Sounds like it is probably that group of people, and not the alcohol. Or possibly your interaction (or lack thereof) in the group. As a female, generally I find another woman to talk to at meetups just because it gives me a baseline person to talk to if things aren't going well that evening. Always have a wing person. After that, the men I talk to are the ones that have the cajones to actually initiate a conversation with me. And I've yet to encounter a situation in which another guy (or girl) won't brazenly step into the conversation. Even then it's not a matter of picking anyone. I'll sit and chat with both at the same time. Perhaps it's just different interactions where you're located...but in the meetups around here it tends to be all about how confident you are in talking with random strangers, and your expectations. People who are sheepish or are looking to hook up and fall into instant dating tend to leave disappointed. While those who are more confident and have a mindset of being there to meet new people and establish new friendships leave having made many new acquaintances.
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