Disillusioned Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 I didn't want to keep hijacking the other thread so I started a new one. For men who are genuinely honest, good and faithful what is the best way to find a good woman who genuinely appreciates men like this? He'd have to become a scientist and learn how to clone women, then figure out how to keep the clones from feeling negative emotions toward men.
iris219 Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Perhaps it's an idea, because your current method seems to attract the wrong type of guys. That being said, what is your current method of meeting guys like that? If I remember correctly you once said that you look like Audrey Hepburn. If that's true, then you should be batting guys away left and right, there are bound to be some quality guys amongst those guys. How many people live in your town? I don't think online dating is for me. However, I recently browsed a couple of OLD sites out of curiosity and it was BAD—worse than what I see in RL. A lot of the photos looked like mug shots. I knew or knew of a lot of the men and I definitely don’t want them. I live in a town of about 100,000, and if you go 15 minutes outside of my town, it gets very rural, so there were a lot of what we around here call “good ole boys” on there as well--nothing wrong with that, just not my type. As I’ve mentioned before, I live in a college town that is also a retirement community. I will go a month without seeing a single (as in unmarried, not in a relationship) man over 28 and under 50. Nexus, where do you meet women? You never seem to talk much about dating, yet I know you must be physically appealing because I remember reading about your workout routine, which was insane (and impressive). I think I just hijacked Woggle's thread.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 TAL... That's awesome! Love the nekkid pictures part too, it sounds like that was just for you and must have felt very liberating! I think you absolutely have to observe the behavior of others over time to determine who they are, and therefore if they are a good match for you and your own value system and code of conduct. It was! The light of the sunset over the mountains was very kind to this 46 yr old bod Was a little chilly though. I was looking at some pictures from Annie Liebowitz recently, and was really inspired. One of my favorites were the Vegas showgirls in full dress (color)... some topless... and then black and whites of them without a stitch of makeup. Quite the contrast. Not to mention many of her candid shots of all kinds of people.. big, small, young, old. Really incredible.
iris219 Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Good for you!! I applaud your spirit! Last week I went on a solo backpacking trip... my first 'solo' trip ever. Camped on top of a mountain.... not a soul around for miles. Just me and my trusty side-kick doggy. Was an awesome trip. Even took some nekked pics of myself when I was up there. This is awesome! And inspirational. I find that I put off doing things I want to do because I want to do these things with a partner. I wish I was able to enjoy being alone more. I'm envious.
Tybalt Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Iris, that's exactly where I was, and I'm trying to change that now. I had to give myself permission to get out of that holding pattern (I will do this or that when I have someone to do it with). I think you can find adventure if you seek it, and encounter people along the way, sometimes in a surprising manner, that can provide companionship and even change your life in subtle ways, without being a life partner. For example, I have a friend who I met through my work (a client), who is a retired priest. I am not Catholic, but I love spending time with him and it is always very thought provoking. I take him wine tasting and feel privileged to be around him, as he has cancer and has elected not to prolong his life by any heroic measures. Does he have some interesting perspectives and advice! I have another male friend, an artist, with whom I have long telephone conversations. We discuss art and philosophy (and our evolving love lives), and we go to galleries. We tried dating in the past but we are better friends. Of course I have wonderful female friends as well, and we spend time together doing various things, with and without their men, in family settings and "girls night out." I have a few single girlfriends as well, and we look out for each other. Are any of these individuals prospects? No, of course not, but they enrich my life and my understanding, and love me in their own ways. Having someone care about you, even platonically, is a wonderful feeling. And you never know who you might meet through someone else. A single girlfriend of mine chatted with a guy online, met him once, and decided he was better for me! We went out this week and he seems very sweet. Who knows?
Nexus One Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I live in a town of about 100,000, and if you go 15 minutes outside of my town, it gets very rural, so there were a lot of what we around here call “good ole boys” on there as well--nothing wrong with that, just not my type. Amongst those 100000 people there have to be at least a few single quality guys right? Nexus, where do you meet women? You never seem to talk much about dating, yet I know you must be physically appealing because I remember reading about your workout routine, which was insane (and impressive). I think I just hijacked Woggle's thread. I haven't been talking about dating on LS simply because I haven't been on any dates since I joined, so there wasn't much to report regarding that. There have been women that were interested, but I didn't feel any chemistry with them in the romantic sense, so I didn't reciprocate. There have been some women I liked, but they either turned out to have a boyfriend already and there have also been several women that I lost track of. Which has actually been quite a problem in my opinion. I suppose I have to start hitting on women immediately and asking for a phone number if I feel there is any potential for chemistry once I know they're single. I generally don't do that, but I guess since my experiences lately I might have to start doing it like that. Regarding my workout routine. I think you're referring to that I run a lot and do fitness. Well I do, but I don't look anywhere near as muscular as Gerard Butler in 300, I have more of a swimmers physique I guess, but not ripped, not in my opinion anyway. I do get positive comments from women nearly every time I go running, a while ago 3 women followed me around on their bikes while I was running, which was kind of funny. I heard one of them say she wanted to take me out for a drink, but she didn't, then they were talking about remembering the time and location where they saw me, I guess in the hopes of bumping into me again. Just today I went on a 5 hour run, with intervals of walking of course, I felt great so I just kept going, then came home, did some fitness, drank some protein shakes, ate some Asian food, took a shower, did some accounting that still needed to be done (for a business of mine), then went online and hit Loveshack. Regarding dating, I just want to go for a woman I really feel chemistry with. I don't hit on women left and right, I'm not that kind of guy. I'm looking for a woman with the whole package, I'm kind of picky in that sense I guess, but I want to go about this with care. I want my reasons for approaching a woman to be solid, that way I know I can genuinely love her for the right reasons.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I don't think online dating is for me. Yep. Don't waste your time. I never met even one who wasn't a recovering something, bankrupt, fresh out of a bad breakup, or a history of short term relationships... To top it off, they usually expect sex on or before the 3rd date or else you must not be their 'soulmate'. Get this.. I had one guy... a lawyer and father... telling me he wanted to bury his face in my *ss... and that was after one 'date', two weeks of emailing, and just learning my last name, oh, one day before. That is pretty much typical for the men there.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Amongst those 100000 people there have to be at least a few single quality guys right? I haven't been talking about dating on LS simply because I haven't been on any dates since I joined, so there wasn't much to report regarding that. There have been women that were interested, but I didn't feel any chemistry with them in the romantic sense, so I didn't reciprocate. There have been some women I liked, but they either turned out to have a boyfriend already and there have also been several women that I lost track of. Which has actually been quite a problem in my opinion. I suppose I have to start hitting on women immediately and asking for a phone number if I feel there is any potential for chemistry once I know they're single. I generally don't do that, but I guess since my experiences lately I might have to start doing it like that. Regarding my workout routine. I think you're referring to that I run a lot and do fitness. Well I do, but I don't look anywhere near as muscular as Gerard Butler in 300, I have more of a swimmers physique I guess, but not ripped, not in my opinion anyway. I do get positive comments from women nearly every time I go running, a while ago 3 women followed me around on their bikes while I was running, which was kind of funny. I heard one of them say she wanted to take me out for a drink, but she didn't, then they were talking about remembering the time and location where they saw me, I guess in the hopes of bumping into me again. Just today I went on a 5 hour run, with intervals of walking of course, I felt great so I just kept going, then came home, did some fitness, drank some protein shakes, ate some Asian food, took a shower, did some accounting that still needed to be done (for a business of mine), then went online and hit Loveshack. Regarding dating, I just want to go for a woman I really feel chemistry with. I don't hit on women left and right, I'm not that kind of guy. I'm looking for a woman with the whole package, I'm kind of picky in that sense I guess, but I want to go about this with care. I want my reasons for approaching a woman to be solid, that way I know I can genuinely love her for the right reasons. get a room, you two
USMCHokie Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Yep. Don't waste your time. I never met even one who wasn't a recovering something, bankrupt, fresh out of a bad breakup, or a history of short term relationships... To top it off, they usually expect sex on or before the 3rd date or else you must not be their 'soulmate'. Get this.. I had one guy... a lawyer and father... telling me he wanted to bury his face in my *ss... and that was after one 'date', two weeks of emailing, and just learning my last name, oh, one day before. That is pretty much typical for the men there. This seems like a pretty typical experience for many women doing online dating...but then again the typical woman targets a very specific range of men...it's a self-fulfilling prophecy...
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 (edited) This seems like a pretty typical experience for many women doing online dating...but then again the typical woman targets a very specific range of men...it's a self-fulfilling prophecy... You'll have to explain what you consider to be the typical woman's target. My fiancee (the one who died)... didn't finish college. I have a PhD... and made more money than him... not by much though. We were about equal that way. I only mention the lawyer and father thing because one would ASSUME guys like that might be more respectable... ie, have something to lose by being so 'out there'. Guess not. Being 'out there' is more a function of online dating. People feel like they have nothing to lose. I still think that the 'pool' of men posting online past the age of oh, 35 or so, looks more like a cess pool. And I'm not talking about physical attractiveness. Edited August 28, 2011 by ThsAmericanLife
Feelsgoodman Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I didn't want to keep hijacking the other thread so I started a new one. For men who are genuinely honest, good and faithful what is the best way to find a good woman who genuinely appreciates men like this? -Avoid women you meet at clubs and bars. -Avoid women raised by single mothers. -Avoid women who have a bad relationship with their parents. -Avoid women with a liberal arts education (a.k.a. feminist brainwashing). -Avoid women who are social butterflies (attention whores are the opposite of 'family-oriented'). -Avoid women who are divorced or had a large number of relationships. -Date women that are as young as you an pull. The younger the woman, the less relationship baggage she will typically have.
USMCHokie Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 You'll have to explain what you consider to be the typical woman's target. The best looking. I can only assume that women could weed out the less savory individuals by actually reading profiles and paying attention during message conversations...of course you can't always screen the creepers before meeting them, but women can certainly take off their "but he's so hot I should give him a chance because he might be better in person" goggles...then they are convinced that all men online are creepers and give up on it completely, saying it's a complete waste of time...when they've only opened their eyes to the 5% of men who are deemed the most physically attractive.
carhill Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I didn't want to keep hijacking the other thread so I started a new one. For men who are genuinely honest, good and faithful what is the best way to find a good woman who genuinely appreciates men like this? Eliminate all the others. What remains is the truth. If that truth is zero, it is.
quankanne Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 For men who are genuinely honest, good and faithful what is the best way to find a good woman who genuinely appreciates men like this? i knew my husband was a keeper when he stepped up, unasked, to help care for my parents whenever they had a health crisis. I knew he was a good man long before those incidents, but him doing that verified my opinion. So I'd say, the best way to find a good woman who appreciates you is to look for the one who shares your core values. And not to keep fishing in the same polluted barrel ... as in, don't keep trying to pick up the same kind of women and expect a different result. Selfish beeches are selfish beeches and self-involved women don't suddenly become concerned with others. most of all, keep your options open: Your hidden gem might be hidden in a chubby body or behind an average face. Look with your inner eye, not your physical one
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Good men don't find good women. Good women find bad boys. That's only true with some women! I usually run the opposite way when I see bad boys, girls want to try and change them but they never can!! YOU CANNOT CHANGE A BAD BOY!! I like the nice guys who may even be shy, or outgoing.
iris219 Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Yep. Don't waste your time. I never met even one who wasn't a recovering something, bankrupt, fresh out of a bad breakup, or a history of short term relationships... To top it off, they usually expect sex on or before the 3rd date or else you must not be their 'soulmate'. Get this.. I had one guy... a lawyer and father... telling me he wanted to bury his face in my *ss... and that was after one 'date', two weeks of emailing, and just learning my last name, oh, one day before. That is pretty much typical for the men there. Eww. I don’t think the kind of guy I would be attracted to would be into online dating. This is an assumption, but I can’t imagine it. I've heard horror stories from friends--things like one date and lots of texted penis pics after. Amongst those 100000 people there have to be at least a few single quality guys right? I haven't been talking about dating on LS simply because I haven't been on any dates since I joined, so there wasn't much to report regarding that. There have been women that were interested, but I didn't feel any chemistry with them in the romantic sense, so I didn't reciprocate. There have been some women I liked, but they either turned out to have a boyfriend already and there have also been several women that I lost track of. Which has actually been quite a problem in my opinion. I suppose I have to start hitting on women immediately and asking for a phone number if I feel there is any potential for chemistry once I know they're single. I generally don't do that, but I guess since my experiences lately I might have to start doing it like that. Regarding my workout routine. I think you're referring to that I run a lot and do fitness. Well I do, but I don't look anywhere near as muscular as Gerard Butler in 300, I have more of a swimmers physique I guess, but not ripped, not in my opinion anyway. I do get positive comments from women nearly every time I go running, a while ago 3 women followed me around on their bikes while I was running, which was kind of funny. I heard one of them say she wanted to take me out for a drink, but she didn't, then they were talking about remembering the time and location where they saw me, I guess in the hopes of bumping into me again. Just today I went on a 5 hour run, with intervals of walking of course, I felt great so I just kept going, then came home, did some fitness, drank some protein shakes, ate some Asian food, took a shower, did some accounting that still needed to be done (for a business of mine), then went online and hit Loveshack. Regarding dating, I just want to go for a woman I really feel chemistry with. I don't hit on women left and right, I'm not that kind of guy. I'm looking for a woman with the whole package, I'm kind of picky in that sense I guess, but I want to go about this with care. I want my reasons for approaching a woman to be solid, that way I know I can genuinely love her for the right reasons. I know a lot people into fitness, but no one nearly as into it as you! You should stop and talk to those girls on bikes some time. I would love to meet someone while running, but it seems impossible to do. I run past attractive guys who smile and say hi, but it's not like you can stop and strike up a conversation. Connecting with someone is very difficult. I think some people have a harder time with this than others. I have girlfriends who seem to connect with every guy they meet, while I'm the opposite. Iris, that's exactly where I was, and I'm trying to change that now. I had to give myself permission to get out of that holding pattern (I will do this or that when I have someone to do it with). I think you can find adventure if you seek it, and encounter people along the way, sometimes in a surprising manner, that can provide companionship and even change your life in subtle ways, without being a life partner. This is good advice. I do the "I'll do such and such when I meet someone" all the time. I'm holding off on traveling and buying a house because I don't want to do these alone. I need to give myself permission to enjoy my life single. It's like I'm waiting to be in a relationship in order for my life to really begin when I should be living my life to the fullest right now. I just don't know how to change my current mindset.
betterdeal Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I didn't want to keep hijacking the other thread so I started a new one. For men who are genuinely honest, good and faithful what is the best way to find a good woman who genuinely appreciates men like this? You turn up and you ask.
ScienceGal Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 You turn up and you ask. Agreed. I wish more men would go past the smile and eye contact... you have to take the initiative! I am waiting for a guy like you!
betterdeal Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Same goes for women - see something you like? Ask. It's quite simple, really.
ScienceGal Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Same goes for women - see something you like? Ask. It's quite simple, really. True, but the thread title let me put it all on you guys
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 -Avoid women you meet at clubs and bars. -Avoid women raised by single mothers. -Avoid women who have a bad relationship with their parents. -Avoid women with a liberal arts education (a.k.a. feminist brainwashing). -Avoid women who are social butterflies (attention whores are the opposite of 'family-oriented'). -Avoid women who are divorced or had a large number of relationships. -Date women that are as young as you an pull. The younger the woman, the less relationship baggage she will typically have. yes, by all means... do your best to be the one creating the 'baggage'.
betterdeal Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 True, but the thread title let me put it all on you guys Fair play So long as we're happy with ourselves, just making it clear you'd like to get to know someone more often than not results in, well, getting to know them. And the ones that decline, well, it's good to know they aren't interested.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 The best looking. I can only assume that women could weed out the less savory individuals by actually reading profiles and paying attention during message conversations...of course you can't always screen the creepers before meeting them, but women can certainly take off their "but he's so hot I should give him a chance because he might be better in person" goggles...then they are convinced that all men online are creepers and give up on it completely, saying it's a complete waste of time...when they've only opened their eyes to the 5% of men who are deemed the most physically attractive. Interesting... I'm the one who didn't post pictures and was open to meeting men who also didn't post pictures... so no, physical attractiveness was never my first priority. I also don't even bother with what $$ they put down. Being self-sufficient and enjoying what they do was all that mattered. You'd be surprised at the number of men who can't handle being with a woman who has a higher education or makes more $$ than them. I've had men tell me on a first date "I'd never want to be with a woman who made more than me". It is human nature, I guess, to gravitate to the first available 'excuse' for why they aren't successful at anything. If you pay attention here, it is mostly men who complain or are disappointed in the looks of the women they meet online. Women are disappointed that the men they meet online have horrid personality traits... addictions.... etc.
grkBoy Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I didn't want to keep hijacking the other thread so I started a new one. For men who are genuinely honest, good and faithful what is the best way to find a good woman who genuinely appreciates men like this? Those are great qualities, but what else do you have to offer? I'm going to change genders on this so you can see my point. I knew women who graduated high school, looked hot and maintained their hot looks, and were also genuinely honest, good and faithful to men. Unfortunately most men they encountered only saw them as "good for sex". The reason is they saw these women and how their biggest goals in life were just to marry someone successful (doesn't mean rich), have a family, and be a SAHM while he's the head of the household...traditional nuclear family in many ways. The guys looked down on it, because in the modern world now too many men (including myself) have been raised to see women like that as mooches, not "decent". I'm not saying I agree with that viewpoint, but it shows the biggest reasons why these particular women have so much trouble finding men who will commit. Yes, they are hot and possibly nice, but for the men they encounter, they see them as a mouth to feed and such, so they only choose to lay them and move on, desiring an educated woman with a career who can pull her own weight. Now then, I flip genders back...outside of "genuinely honest, good and faithful", what else do you have to offer the female population? Being "genuinely honest, good and faithful" isn't going to mean much to them if you're butt ugly, have poor hygiene, dress badly, work in a Wal-Mart as a greeter, live at home with the parents, have no social skills, and even if you're a 30 year old virgin. Sorry to sound harsh, but that's the hard truth. I always saw myself as "genuinely honest, good and faithful", but I didn't catch the eyes of women until I learned to dress/look better, gained social skills, went to places where better women congregated (not the shallow princesses), took on hobbies and interests for my own pleasure...but they also made me an interesting person, etc. Think about that...because choosing to stop hitting up bars and instead going to bookstores won't help you if you have little to offer. What do you have to offer besides "genuinely honest, good and faithful"?
dreamingoftigers Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Interesting... I'm the one who didn't post pictures and was open to meeting men who also didn't post pictures... so no, physical attractiveness was never my first priority. I also don't even bother with what $$ they put down. Being self-sufficient and enjoying what they do was all that mattered. I'm the same way. If a guy has some decent qualities, is self-sufficient and happy, I don't care if he works at 7-11. He's worth more then Mr. Hot Shot Anger Problem or Mr. Money Bags Cheater.
Recommended Posts