WolfRouge Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 This sounds really daft, I know. But I'm hoping for some advice. I met a girl on a dating site and we started talking quite often for a few weeks. Online, then later on through text. I started to like her and she said she liked me too. We arranged to meet up and went on two dates. After the first date, I saw her to her car and we hugged and kissed. Second date went well also. At least I thought it did. We were supposed to be going on a third date, until she texts me the day after the second date saying someone she was dating is much nicer than she thought and that she's at hers now. I thought about it for about an hour and I told her I didn't think I could do it and that I was truly gutted because I really liked her, and that I'd been in this situation before and I know how it goes. She replied hours later and we talked briefly. She said she didn't really feel that we clicked. I'm quite confused now. I really do like her and I'm feeling pretty down over it. It's daft after two dates, I know. But I keep thinking "Did I make the right choice?" "Would she have wanted to see if we clicked after a 3rd date?" It's just going through my head and I actually want to see her again After chatting for a few weeks, I miss it. God damn dating!
sm1tten Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Eh, sometimes this happens. You meet someone, and you think it's going well, but then you/they meet someone else, and BOOM. At least she was honest with you. I'm a bit confused though. What was she asking you to do - to let her date both of you?
Author WolfRouge Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 I'm not actually sure. On the second date, she asked if I was gonna date other people and I said no. I asked her if she was and she said she's not planning to, but she's not gonna say she's not because she doesn't want to give me the wrong impression. And thank you for your reply.
Abhuman Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 2 dates and some phone/text conversations in is still in the figuring each other out phase. Don't sweat it and move on. If you are still using that dating site make it so you can't tell when/if she's online. It'll get under your skin for a week or so if you notice that. I've had first dates where the person is all talking about things to do together at a later date. Always take it with a grain of salt ime.
Pierre Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 We were supposed to be going on a third date, until she texts me the day after the second date saying someone she was dating is much nicer than she thought and that she's at hers now. I thought about it for about an hour and I told her I didn't think I could do it and that I was truly gutted because I really liked her, and that I'd been in this situation before and I know how it goes. She replied hours later and we talked briefly. She said she didn't really feel that we clicked. She is not seeing anyone else; she said that as an excuse. In reality she did not click with you. You seem to fall in love very easily and show significant signs of withdrawal from her. It seems you started to love her before you met her. Be careful with your feelings.
Imajerk17 Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 (edited) Yeah, the "instant chemistry" thing. You're supposed to be soulmates by after two dates or it will never ever work. Women swear by this sort of thing. All those romantic comedies can't be wrong. Edited August 27, 2011 by Imajerk17
Author WolfRouge Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 I tried to make it so I can't see when she's online, but you can't unfortunately. Anyone you've messaged shows up when they're online. I should've taken it with a grain of salt really. My own fault :-/ Pierre: She is dating someone. She was talking about her on Facebook at one point. And I don't love her lol. I just really like her and gutted it didn't go any further.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 I tried to make it so I can't see when she's online, but you can't unfortunately. Anyone you've messaged shows up when they're online. I should've taken it with a grain of salt really. My own fault :-/ Pierre: She is dating someone. She was talking about her on Facebook at one point. And I don't love her lol. I just really like her and gutted it didn't go any further. You keep referring to the person that girl is dating as a "she". Is the girl bisexual. Or is she (and, by implication, you) a lesbian?
Author WolfRouge Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 Yes, I'm a lesbian. Not that it's really relevant.
Pierre Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 And I don't love her lol. I just really like her and gutted it didn't go any further. Sou said: I was truly gutted because I really liked her I'm quite confused now. I really do like her and I'm feeling pretty down over it. It's just going through my head and I actually want to see her again After chatting for a few weeks, I miss it. You show typical signs of LOVE. Or at least you were on the precipice. The language you used gave it away. The good thing is that this was so early you will get over it very quickly. There is a lot of withdrawal symptomatology in your post.
Author WolfRouge Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 I've been in love before and this isn't it. I just like her.
sm1tten Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Everything you are feeling is totally natural - you liked her, she didn't quite like you as much, and you're disappointed. (And FWIW I don't get where the "love" stuff is coming from.) Yeah, the "instant chemistry" thing. You're supposed to be soulmates by after two dates or it will never ever work. Some people swear by this sort of thing. All those romantic comedies can't be wrong. Fixed that for you.
Author WolfRouge Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 Thanks for that sm1tten :-) And yeah, I am disappointed.
Pierre Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 I've been in love before and this isn't it. I just like her. Love is not an off and on switch. Love is a spectrum and you were infatuated which is the first stage.
Pierre Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Everything you are feeling is totally natural - you liked her, she didn't quite like you as much, and you're disappointed. (And FWIW I don't get where the "love" stuff is coming from.) Fixed that for you. You needed to read about the brain chemistry changes of love. For some folks it can happen very quickly. No big deal, it is nothing but physiology.
bluenightowl Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 You needed to read about the brain chemistry changes of love. For some folks it can happen very quickly. No big deal, it is nothing but physiology. What I've noticed is when you date someone and it ends early, you never really get to see the bad side of them and worse you were told she picked another woman over you. Thats not so fun. I suspect her comment on dating other people was a very casual lie. I'm sure she was already seeing this person or was about to see this person. The only good part of her seeing someone else is there is no doubting that its over and time to move on. The best thing now is to try to avoid any contact and memories of her. You might be the type that once you meet someone new, you really like, you'll forget all about her very quickly!
Author WolfRouge Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 Thanks bluenightowl. It's done, I know that. And I hope I do forget about her very quickly lol. Thank you all for your replies, you've really helped.
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