The Poster Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I can't bring myself to delete her because it would just show her that she got to me and that I was weak. But I did hide all her posts from my news feed. This way I get the best of both worlds. I keep my pride and she still sees that I'm doing fine without her, and I don't have to see what's going on in her life. It's just about self control now and making sure I don't click her profile when the curiosity arises.
Author M2155 Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 I still see the point of The Poster although I cannot come of with a good defense why I should even care. I already KNOW my ex is happily in a new relationship. I am going to try dicipline for a couple days but blocking is sounding healthy. I am not a serial FB poster, more pictures and travels. I just feel llike blocking would say "I'm so torn apart I don't even want you to speak to me" when after some time I would like for us to at least be cordial. But he also basically said "I don't want to speak to you" in his actions:( More excuses:rolleyes:
Space Ritual Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I can't bring myself to delete her because it would just show her that she got to me and that I was weak. But I did hide all her posts from my news feed. This way I get the best of both worlds. I keep my pride and she still sees that I'm doing fine without her, and I don't have to see what's going on in her life. It's just about self control now and making sure I don't click her profile when the curiosity arises. Ok, a gentle 2x4(not trying to insult you, just trying to assist you in pulling your head out of the sand). You are bargaining.....with yourself. By keeping her around in any sense you will never be able to move on....and you are still dancing to her tune. She doesn't even have to call it...your "best of both worlds" comment is clear proof of that NOT deleting and blocking her is showing she got to you! Gives her a chance to step it up a notch in the Mind***** department at a time of her choosing...whether she does or not is not the point...the point is that you have served that possibility to her on a platter.... Believe me she is getting more mileage in the ego stroke department by you NOT deleting and blocking her. It shows you are still pining. Its also shows her you are a sap, and that you will sacrifice your dignity just to have some sort of communication....and believe me...no woman respects a sap. There is a huge difference between a hopeless romantic and a doormat. The only thing you are showing her is that you will allow yourself to SETTLE FOR CRUMBS.....I speak from experience when I am telling you the course of action you are taking will serve to only bolster this in her mind and further delay your own healing.
radiodarcy Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Ok, a gentle 2x4(not trying to insult you, just trying to assist you in pulling your head out of the sand). You are bargaining.....with yourself. By keeping her around in any sense you will never be able to move on....and you are still dancing to her tune. She doesn't even have to call it...your "best of both worlds" comment is clear proof of that NOT deleting and blocking her is showing she got to you! Gives her a chance to step it up a notch in the Mind***** department at a time of her choosing...whether she does or not is not the point...the point is that you have served that possibility to her on a platter.... Believe me she is getting more mileage in the ego stroke department by you NOT deleting and blocking her. It shows you are still pining. Its also shows her you are a sap, and that you will sacrifice your dignity just to have some sort of communication....and believe me...no woman respects a sap. There is a huge difference between a hopeless romantic and a doormat. The only thing you are showing her is that you will allow yourself to SETTLE FOR CRUMBS.....I speak from experience when I am telling you the course of action you are taking will serve to only bolster this in her mind and further delay your own healing. i agree with this hands down. i deleted the ex off facebook almost immediately after he dumped me. but i did keep him on my yahoo messenger contact list. and would log in every day to stalk him. once he realized what i was doing he would go out of his way to post all kinds of messages on his status as to what he was up to. he even started adding new pictures for his avatar. no matter what i posted on my status he always one-upped me. he TOTALLY got off on it. needless to say, i stopped logging in altogether. M2155, i know you want to show this guy how well you're doing but keeping him on your facebook isn't going to work. honestly, trying to prove anything to your ex at all through any means isn't going to work. as someone else already said, chances are he's not paying attention because he's doing his own thing. besides, if you're not over him yet, what he's up to is always going to be of more interest to you than vice versa. if anything keeping him on your facebook is going make it look like you're trying too hard to get his attention.
Author M2155 Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 I don't know what I was thinking, the activity on his page telling me everything he should have. It's not torturing me, kinda more the kick in the pants that moving on is the only option. Yes I wanted to be able to show I was ok with our status by remaining peacefully, doing fine (IF/when he cared, which you are right, he probably doesn't) and possibly breaking the ice in time. We had a "stalemate" once before and after a couple weeks of NC started joking around on FB. This time it's over though so I guess there is no real point if I can't even be friendly (in due time). I don't hate him but NC is default for a while. Guess i will block;)
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