Realizing I've been looking at things the wrong way, how to change myself?

[Chakanax]

Let me start with a little backstory,

 

Awhile back in High school, I was brutally rejected by this girl I liked the entire freshman year. It was at the end of the year dance that I asked her to dance with me, only to get brutally rejected by her and made fun of by some of my classmates after. I went into the bathroom stall and just sat there feeling sort of depressed, when out of nowhere the principal and deputy bang on my stall door asking if I was doing drugs of any kind. They handcuffed me to the wall, and then searched my pockets to find ( of course ) nothing. Nobody was in the bathroom to witness it, but people in my class overheard it and sort of looked down at me from then on. I changed after that, and told myself I wouldn't allow myself to be looked down upon, and that I would change. And I did, I started working out, and gained a lot of muscle and strength. I took my guitar playing more seriously, and made my name known at my school for my playing. I put more work in my studies, and got straight A's and B's every year.

 

 

I am now 20 years old, still a virgin, and never had a long steady relationship. I now realize that a person with a strong and exciting personality, gets the girl in the end, as opposed to someone who may be really good at several things, but lacks an interesting personality. I've improved myself in so many ways, but neglected myself. If you go beyond the guitar playing, the muscle, the book smart, what else is there? I'm almost exactly the same person I was before. I go out with friends a lot, and i do have confidence in myself, but I'm still shy and still have anxiety in class/public. How do I change?

[PelicanPete]

Perhaps you're still looking at things the wrong way. Why is it that you want to change? Is it really for yourself, or is it for the approval of others? Only the things you do for yourself will "click" and make you happier.

 

You started working out because that's what you like to do. You became better at guitar because that's what enjoy. If you believe that's all you are, that's all you'll ever be. The key to learning more about yourself is not giving yourself a result, for labels only put a filter on what you believe you can or cannot do.

 

Let your talents and attributes guide you through life and go with the flow. You and I are just fractions of life and the universe, but by following what we're good at, we don't feel so small. We're all headed for the same destination. If you want a fuller personality, take a path that makes sense to you. If you can make sense of who you are, you'll soon start to understand the rest.

[Yellow_Duck'y]

Have you ever considered taking acting classes?

 

It's a cool thing to do if you have anxiety in public. I took a three month workshop just for the hell of it, and at the end of the workshop, I had to improv a scene as a southern bell with a fake accent. I'm sure I looked/sounded like a dorkus, but it was a lot of fun! I still get a bit anxious, I would have to speak publicly at work, and whenever I did my upper lip twitches uncontrollably, thankfully no one noticed.

 

So, that is just one avenue to explore, if you’re interested.