Yuzuki Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Just a little something I've been wondering about. I haven't contacted my ex for about 1.5 months and I feel like the longer I go without speaking to him, the more scared I get to actually do so. We work together and just after the breakup we had another coffee break together and although I obviously wasn't happy (that's putting it lightly) because the relationship had ended, I was still ok with seeing him. But now whenever I see him I start trembling and I'm actually afraid of him in some strange way. Strange because we didn't have any argument or anything, aside from the fact that I didn't want to end the relationship I suppose you could say it ended amicably. Also, he's gone really cold and he doesn't even say hello to me anymore when he passes by. I know he's a decent guy so it's just odd, so not like him no matter what happened. But when I look back at things it might actually be because I haven't acknowledged his presence either, because of NC. I don't really like this, and my friends also say it's ridiculous we don't even say hello to each other anymore. And then one more (but perhaps the most important) thing. Supposedly NC should make sure you don't get any false hope, but I'm wondering if in a way it's not exactly the opposite. If I were to text him now and he would confirm he still doesn't want to be together, wouldn't that remove the hope? Because as long as I'm in NC, I can make up this image of him in my mind and make this little "imaginary him" think whatever I'd like him to think. Well, I'm probably wrong because NC seems to be the standard way of dealing with breakups. But these are just some thoughts I've had lately and I wonder what everyone else thinks.
jenjen83 Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 And then one more (but perhaps the most important) thing. Supposedly NC should make sure you don't get any false hope, but I'm wondering if in a way it's not exactly the opposite. If I were to text him now and he would confirm he still doesn't want to be together, wouldn't that remove the hope? Because as long as I'm in NC, I can make up this image of him in my mind and make this little "imaginary him" think whatever I'd like him to think. In my personal experience him saying he still doesn't want to be with you wouldn't remove the hope. I know my ex doesn't want me back and he has told me that,however the hope that he'll change his mind has never gone. I don't think it ever does until we have properly moved on.
Author Yuzuki Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 In my personal experience him saying he still doesn't want to be with you wouldn't remove the hope. I know my ex doesn't want me back and he has told me that,however the hope that he'll change his mind has never gone. I don't think it ever does until we have properly moved on. Hmm, I suppose it wouldn't be entirely gone indeed. I just figured it might be less present than it is without the reminder. Oh well. Sticking with NC it is then.
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