health Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Hello. I'm 29 and live at home. I lost my job last year, but am starting a really good job this monday. I lived independently for 2 years - paying bills, and saving every month. I moved back because I needed support through a major break up. < That's for those who tell me why are you 29 and still living at home - I tried to save to move out into a Condo - some people "move" out but are not fully indepdendent - I believe in 100% self reliance. SO here's my problem my Sister who is 40 still lives at home and hasn't had a job interview let alone work for the last ten years! She's always angry a nd never leaves. I used to feel bad for her and tried to help her until recently she started calling my 67 year old mother a bitch, and blaming everything on her! It kills me! She always calls me a jackass and yells and slams the door. SH'es completley immature and irresponsible. So I haven't talked to her for the last 2 months. My brother is moving out with his girlfriend soon so that should be good - I haven't talked to him in over one year under the same roof - since he told me "I'm going to kill you like Caine killed Able" in a rage. He also said he was going to kill me. I've read alot of self help books and deal with my emotions by exercise, and writing out my emotions. What solutions do you guys suggest? Mine is this - I told my brother and sister I will not continue our relationship unless they go to anger management and have significantly improved. Also I plan on moving out of this toxic environment in a few months. I'm scared though because this work I have is just a six month internship. I feel like nothing is stable. I get really alone sometimes too cause I wish I could talk to my brother and sister but they're always so angry. My brother also drinks and smokes weed < I stopped all of that, I feel my emotions.
turnera Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Find what agencies are in your city and go to them and see how they can help you get started on your own. The US has tons of such agencies, if that's where you live. Look up ads for roommates or else rentals of a room - lots of women out there who need help with the mortgage, who will rent you a room and access to the kitchen. Would be much preferable for the next year, while you save up money. Plus, being around someone like that could show you how a normal household works, lol. Might be good to learn.
Eddie Edirol Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Theres nothing you can do about them, you have to ignore them and keep moving. When they address you, dont answer, keep ignoring them until you move out. Giving them ultimatums just gives them the power they want over you. If they see that you dont let them get to you, then YOU have the upper hand, and they will want to get back into your good graces. But they will never change, so dont even try. Just ignore them and try to stay away from home as much as you can.
Author health Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 turnera - Thanks so much I will look into that. I like that option of finding some place with a normal and civilized person. I just came home from the first day of this internship. My brother came home and started yelling at my Mom telling her to shut up - he's 31 shes 67. Then he leaves and my sister talks trash about my cousin who earns over $100, 000 and works hard - saying she doesn't know about life that she never had the problems my sister had. My and brother and sister's whole mentality is toxic they yell, fight, name call, threaten it's insanity. I even noticed I made a post just like this one exatcly one year ago here the only thing that changed - was me ignoring my brother now for over a year and deciding to do the same with my sister 1 months ago. Eddie - thank you. I will be doing that. It's crazy that I have to do this. You know for the last year - once a month I went to a motel just to get peace. Thanks Clume. There is no respect in my house, even my Mom calls me garbage etc. I'm working on my self esteem too, I felt like a failure after my 5 year relationship ended. I am good, I will complete this internship and move out very soon. I just have to build up some more money. It's like the benfit I have from staying is - I spend money on my side business, and then endure the pain for months so the money goes back up. The influence is not worth it. Thanks so much guys, if anyone has other good ideas let me know.
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