clovess Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 (edited) Hee, I already post a thread before when my boyfriend left me, I went , and still go, through a horrible time, miss and love him so, I just dont wanna live without him. We were together for 8 months and so deeply in love, all the time, it got more every day from both sides, then when I was on holiday, he broke up with me, I really didn't expect it! we already had marriage plans and talked about kids, we are soul mater. he told me he wasn't sure if he was ready for a relationship, he felt too young and too much responsebility, of course I should have respected it and give him some space, but I didnt :/. that had been the biggest mistake of my life! I begged him to stay and got mad at him for leaving me, he still loved me so much, and I hurt him so much with that, I can't describe how sorry and ashamed I am he decided to try again with me, he said he really wanted to, I went on another holiday and when I got back he acted really distant, he said he forgot he asked me again! that really upsetted me, but he said he was very stressed. We've been together for a month that time, but it didnt work at all, he didnt care about me anymore and was out all the time, then we broke up again, he told me he didn't love me anymore, he didn't wanna be with someone who is so desperate for their loved one, he broke up because I handled losing him so badly, I understand that really, but I really changed and won't ever do that again. Tomorrow it's two weeks ago since he left me, we stayed friends, I suggested NC, but he didnt want it. I tried to distance myself from him, didn't send him messages in the morning anymore and tried to reply short, he got upset of that and kept asking what was wrong. A few days after the break up he said 'I love you' when he went away, then he said oh sorry sorry I was thinking it in my head and accidentally said it! I was upset about this but tried not to show it, he saw it hurt me, he said 'aaaw sorry cutie, very sorry'. Lately I noticed he started caring about me again, he doesn't want me to be sad and listens carefully to my advice and tells me he cares. He acts the same again like we just met . We're doing so great as friends now, but I clearly want more. a few days ago he wanted to joke about sleeping together ( we used to joke about how we would do it later, we both want to wait till marriage , I told him I wasn't sure about that because it always was very special to me and I didnt wanna be used. He said he really didnt use me and it was special to him to, we both wanted it very badly, we just weren't sure, but we joked about it. Yesterday we were joking and he asked who the boy is I love, I said I didnt wanna tell him , he's been asking and guessing who it was for almost two days, he really wanted to know during those days he told me he likes me. Then I told him I it wasnt him as a joke, he got very sad. Then I told him the truth that it is him, he was so happy! he also cares alot if I like someone else, when I tell about a boy he keeps asking if he's cute, relationship matrial, and jokes about it, maybe so I'll comfort him. I really don't know what to think anymore, can anyone help me? sometimes he acts a little distant, but then he acts like he wants me again. What am I supposed to think? does he want more? Thank you a lot for replying and reading my story Edited August 27, 2011 by clovess
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