linea Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 Hello, I am interested in your opinions. I am terrible at reading signs from other people. Always been told this! My ex and I broke up a few months ago after a three year relationship. He instigated the break up but it had to come. We fought and fought for the last year of our relationship and though I was sad to see it go, I accepted it and moved on. Had a few dates since, nothing serious. Ex if seeing someone new now but we are friends still and meet up regularly as friends, do friends things like get a meal, have drinks after work, etc. Never met the new girlfriend though. Recently, ex has become more 'playful' and by this I mean he jokes about, play fighting with me, (I don't usually return the 'punches' as it's just not my thing and he knows it so he just playfully tries to irritate me - doesn't work!). I sense that in some way he is flirting with me. He has other female friends and doesn't act in this manner towards them. It is only when we are alone that he acts in this way towards me. And it's not just playful physical contact. He also tries hard to make me laugh - I know he's trying hard, I can at least tell THAT. He has become more attentive to what I am talking about. Sometimes when we were together I could tell he would just switch off when I was rambling away but now he listens to everything and asks lots of questions about my life. On saying goodbye now he will always suggest another meet up. He never used to do this. He wants to make plans for the next meet up before the current one has ended. Has he learnt how tobe a better 'friend' from his new girlfriend or do you think he has some non-platonic feelings towards me again? I asked if I could meet his girlfriend - he said I probalbly wouldn't like her!?? What!?? (She DOES exist btw!) Just interested in what you all might think. I don't want to get back with him but want to be prepared for dealing with his feelings should the prospect arise. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
solobeary Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 From what you've written, I think that does sound like flirting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author linea Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 I do agree in that sort of playful fighting unless it's between relatives is regarded as flirting but I just don't get it. Before we got together my ex didn't flirt in that way as we just hit it off almost straight away -ie he didn't need to so I've never seen that side of him before. OK so he hasn't spoken about not being happy with his girlfriend or anything like that and in fact I get the impression he's happy. So... A)is he just acting in this way to get my attention and possibly to get me to make a move just so he can reject me? OR B)am I reading too much into it all? C)He still likes me My head's telling me B. Link to post Share on other sites
lana_sa Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 It sounds like flirting to me Link to post Share on other sites
Author linea Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 So far two responses and both agree that he's flirting. Do men just like to flirt with women then (ie it's in their nature)? Why would a man want to flirt with his ex and when he is in a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 Ego...attention from women, still wanting to know if he can get close to you. Does his gf know he meets up with his recent ex? Link to post Share on other sites
Author linea Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 Ego...attention from women, still wanting to know if he can get close to you. Does his gf know he meets up with his recent ex? Well I didn't give him the attention he may have wanted! But would a man feel the need to flirt with an ex if he's getting all the attention he needs from his girlfriend? Yes, she does know and apparantly doesn't really feel comfortable with it. I'd be happy to stop contact for the sake of their relationship but he seems to want to continue our friendship. I don't mind either way to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 You're meeting him and spending time with him, that's all the attention he needs. If he is feeling his way towards asking you to take him back, then you're wasting his time if your intuition re. flirting is right. Also the poor girl has ecvery right to feel insecure about her bf meeting his ex...I would hit the roof...would you like that done to you when you meet a new guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author linea Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 You're meeting him and spending time with him, that's all the attention he needs. If he is feeling his way towards asking you to take him back, then you're wasting his time if your intuition re. flirting is right. Also the poor girl has ecvery right to feel insecure about her bf meeting his ex...I would hit the roof...would you like that done to you when you meet a new guy? I do see you point. We were friends before we got together so that's why we still see each other and his girlfriend also still sees her recent ex. If spending time with him is giving his male ego all the attention he needs why is he flirting with me as well - he's never done that before! I don't know...maybe he attracted his girlfriend this way and it worked and is just testing out his new-found skill on me!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 You've just validated the whole set up and gave more insight actually. His gf is seeing her ex also. Is all this healthy at the start of new relationships? I don't think so. He may well be using you to get back at his gf because she is talking to/seeing her ex, hence the flirting. he'll feel threatened by this ex on the scene, so is maybe putting the feelers out with you by flirting with you. Ye know what , it's a bit of a mess. Moving on should be just that..moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
katie.x Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 Hello, I am interested in your opinions. I am terrible at reading signs from other people. Always been told this! My ex and I broke up a few months ago after a three year relationship. He instigated the break up but it had to come. We fought and fought for the last year of our relationship and though I was sad to see it go, I accepted it and moved on. Had a few dates since, nothing serious. Ex if seeing someone new now but we are friends still and meet up regularly as friends, do friends things like get a meal, have drinks after work, etc. Never met the new girlfriend though. Recently, ex has become more 'playful' and by this I mean he jokes about, play fighting with me, (I don't usually return the 'punches' as it's just not my thing and he knows it so he just playfully tries to irritate me - doesn't work!). I sense that in some way he is flirting with me. He has other female friends and doesn't act in this manner towards them. It is only when we are alone that he acts in this way towards me. And it's not just playful physical contact. He also tries hard to make me laugh - I know he's trying hard, I can at least tell THAT. He has become more attentive to what I am talking about. Sometimes when we were together I could tell he would just switch off when I was rambling away but now he listens to everything and asks lots of questions about my life. On saying goodbye now he will always suggest another meet up. He never used to do this. He wants to make plans for the next meet up before the current one has ended. Has he learnt how tobe a better 'friend' from his new girlfriend or do you think he has some non-platonic feelings towards me again? I asked if I could meet his girlfriend - he said I probalbly wouldn't like her!?? What!?? (She DOES exist btw!) Just interested in what you all might think. I don't want to get back with him but want to be prepared for dealing with his feelings should the prospect arise. Thanks. I think everyone is over analysing this. Sounds like he is just close to you in a friendly way. You used to be together, now your friends and he still feels very comfortable around you. If the other girl is awkward about you seeing him then she's a hypocrite for still seeing her ex. Why does everyone just jump to the worst of people on here? I think your ex is just being a friend, and if you're not interested in being more than theres no issue. Until he says something about being together again or tries something i think it's just friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author linea Posted August 28, 2011 Author Share Posted August 28, 2011 Yeah well I hope it's nothing more than just being friendly or else it could become awkward. He hasn't mentioned anything about wanting more but my friends keep telling me 'actions speak louder than words'. I did however feel slightly uneasy about the physical attention my ex was giving - he wasn't like that during our relationship. He was, in fact, touching me way too much and was over attentive to what I was saying and alarm bells rang... Anyhow, his girlfriend's ex is married with kids and an old family friend so I guess there's no threat there. My ex has met him and his family and has actually told me he feels no threat from the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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