Mrlonelyone Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/debra-weiner/how-to-recognize-your-fut_b_933090.html This is a good article. It's about a book. The gist of it is that women in particular rationalize bad behavior in the first days,weeks, and months of dating. I particularly like these parts.... Anger can make us feel less vulnerable and will often impersonate intimacy. Genuine intimacy is about trust and feeling safe, and it is impossible to experience either with someone who is angry most of the time I see this too much. A woman with a BF who is always angry about something. When confronted they say he's just passionate. Then a few weeks latter surprise....he has been beating on her. One time a friend of mine was dating a man who constantly ate off of her plate and sipped her wine whenever they went out to eat. On the first date she politely told him that she was a bit germ-phobic and didn't like to share her food or drink. This admission made him feel hurt and put-off, so instead of respecting her request, he continued to sip her Pinot Noir and munch on her pickles and coleslaw. This is extreme but I have seen things like this. I have seen men whos boundaries were not respected by girlfriends put up with it for the sex. What men don't do in general is rationalize it. Men will screw a woman they dont even like, women try to talk themselves into a relationship being more than it is. Then they end up with an ex husband. It also mentions money. On one hand wealthy people are often stingy. On the other hand someone who gives expensive gifts too early is a bad sign. Rich people can be stingy, and often cannot give easily of themselves emotionally. What seems tolerable in the beginning becomes a source of conflict later on. The other side the coin is buying gifts and showing-off. An expensive piece of jewelry on the third date should trigger an alarm. For men reading this what can you do? On one hand try not to be any of those guys. On the other hand women seem to go for men who act like the above if the man is hot enough (in the case of very young women the boys popularity is a big issue too).
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