phuongus Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 so in middle school i met a wonderful girl (girl A) girlA was a great friend, at first we were only classroom buddies but soon i grew into a new friendship. the following year i developed feelings for her, but to my dismay she was in a relationship. i kept my feelings to myself. the summer of 8th grade though i let it spill out, she was not dating anyone at the time so i bit the bullet and asked her to go steady with me. shot down. now we've grown apart and i hear now that she is dating guys that are generally bad for her, one of them kept saying that they had sex( which was an obvious lie). i see this cycle going on and i cant do anything to help as i go to a different school, amd i can't help but want to slap some sense into her. show her that thee guys do not deserve her. why can't i get over her?!
SelfControl Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 (edited) phuongus...you can't get over her because you liked this girl and were rejected by her. This is perfectly natural. We tend to want what we can't have. On top of that, your ego is having a hard time accepting that there is someone out there that just isn't into you. It's healthy to think highly of yourself. However, it's a sign of maturity to accept that not everyone in the world is going to see how great you are in the same way you think you are great. And, finally, you have to realize that this girl has her own thoughts, her own experiences and her own likes and dislikes, that shape the choices she makes. It's out of your control and her choices need to be accepted and respected. The good news in all this is that you were confident enough to take a chance and ask her to go steady. Now it is time to respect her decision, not take it personally, give it some time, and eventually start to like someone else. Trust me, it will happen. The other good thing is that you have an opportunity to learn all of this at a young age. If there only was a time machine that could take us all back to 8th grade with the knowledge we have as grown ups...hmmm. Your situation reminds me of the movie "Forrest Gump". In the movie, Forrest likes a girl named Jenny. They grew up together and he always had feelings for her. However, Jenny had experiences, like an abusive father, that led her to make horrible choices for herself despite how much Forrest liked her and wanted to give her a normal life. She ran from guy to guy, from town to town, got caught up in the drugs/hippie scene, etc. These choices were based on her experiences in her childhood and there was nothing Forrest could do or say that could change that. If you haven't seen that movie, check it out. Now, I am not saying that the girl you like has been abused or anything, I am just saying that her life experiences that influence her choices are different from yours and it's best to understand and accept that you have no control over her. This will help you move on. Edited August 27, 2011 by SelfControl
Author phuongus Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 how long is long enough to tell that i've gotten over her? and after that it kinda made me feel nothing inside in my other post i explain that but it's been 3 years and during that i dont believe i've had a happy day
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