sigurpol Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Ugh, I'm tired of posting about this. Let me catch everyone up in a few sentences. I met a girl in 2007-'08. We talked a lot, kissed, hung out. Never dated. Never had sex. I eventually explained in late 2008 that this wasn't going to work. In late 2009, after the aforementioned girl, her friend has a thing for me. This friend and I get close, talk, kiss, and date for about TWO months until we break it off. Aforementioned girl is really upset. In late 2010, the girl who I've been talking about the entire time, gets back in touch with me (after I initiated it). Theres a long-long story as to why this happened, but I'll save it for now. The girl and I finally date, for about 5 months until our schedules become so much, that I cannot make time for her, or anyone else (even family. I would not show up to family gatherings to see her instead). We break up. Months later, I wish her a happy birthday and we're on better terms. Since April, we've been on great terms. We hang out, watch movies, talk..etc. I've gone on trips and buy her gifts, we get dinner, all kinds of things... But since the last month or so, she has... raised some sort of level on hostility on me. I thought it was "that time", or work got to her.. but it isn't. IF ONE DAY goes by, or IF I MISS a phone call, let it be known that I'm in serious trouble with her until I prove that it was an accident. If I talk about my night with some friends, her tone becomes more than unwelcoming. Sometimes, I get off work late (I currently work two jobs and go to school), head home and go to bed. The next day, she will barely speak to me and purposefully give me a cold shoulder. I used to text her a heads up, that I was going to bed and I would either not get a text in return, or a smarta** answer back. Out of spite. Finally, tonight... I ******* had it. I worked two jobs today, texted her, got in touch and she was short with me. Fine, so whenever she wants to call me or text, she can.... I go out with a good friend of mine. Later, I get a text of some random phone number that she sent me, but with no reason as to why I was texted a phone number. This is typical drunk behavior of her. Hours later, I get a text: "You care more about _____'s life than you do about mine". The blank text is the girls name who I dated for TWO MONTHS in 2009. I am not answering the text, nor am I even going to speak about that kind of accusation. As far as I'm concerned, if she's upset about something, there isn't a reason to tug at old memories/reasons that are irrelevant. To me, this is a defense mechanism. I am TIRED of hearsay BS that comes from pure speculation (aka FACEBOOK). If you have evidence, please show me. Otherwise, knock it off. This is K-12 behavior, at best. I'm not really looking for reasons, but I'm asking: should I finally just say that it's best that we don't speak anymore? She does a lot for me, I care a lot about her. We've gone through a lot, and I feel like that means something... But it's so g** d** hard whenever my social life is under some eyeglass. I cannot relax. At least, that's how I feel.
Professor X Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 It's obvious that she likes you a lot and she has become a jealous person. The reason she's friends with you is because she's hoping to keep you close so you can be in a RS one day. But you already know this and you probably enjoy the attention she gives you... You wanna be a good friend to her? You claim to care for her? Than let her go; Tell her that you don't want to be friends with her anymore. And don't try and blame shift it to her, have some manner and make her think it's all you.
Ayla Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 She still likes you - that much is clear. Her insecurity may be coming from the fact that she likes you, but isn;t 100% certain that you like her...and it is festering. I aqree with Professor that is why she is still keeping you as a friend. I am confused, do you still have feelings for her? As more than a friend? If the answer to that is no - then it is best that you let her go. Otherwise she is going to keep hoping that you get together. If the answer is - tell her. Explain how you feel, face to face. If the answer is - I don't know...let her know that you are going to stop contact with her for a while, whilst you work out your feelings. regardless of the option, make sure you let her know. don't just cut her off with no explaination. That just hurts.
FitChick Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 I'd tell her that because of so many demands on your time right now (school, two jobs) you can't give her the attention she deserves and you don't want to keep disappointing her. You want to 'call it a day' until such time as things change and in the future, if you both are available you will pick up where you left off.
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