brokendreamz Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Dear all, I haven't been here for a while so thought I'd come back and share where I am at now. Perhaps this will offer a glimmer of hope to those recently heartbroken... Nearly 8 months ago, my ex of 8 years broke up with me. we'd been engaged for two years. I had a breakdown, lost my beautiful home, and the single most important thing in my life - moved back in with my parents and basically had to begin rebuilding a life at the age of 33. It was the single worst thing that ever happened to me, it was also one of the best (although it's only now that I realise that). After probably 2 months of chasing her, begging, pleading etc I realised it was real and that she was out of my life, another month after that she tells me that she's seeing a guy from her work!!! As you can imagine, a lot of questions rose from this latest bit of news and I went straight back to day one. Looking back though, that bit of news was what made me finally realise that it was O-V-E-R - I could never take her back after that and I think at that point I was finally able to begin the healing process proper. I have put in a LOT of hard work to get to where I am today and I know I am a better person for it. Here is what I have done since she left: Visited a Therapist Started anti depressants Took a mindfulness meditation course Lost 2 stone Started running Started kickboxing Turned off the TV! Bought a new wardrobe of clothes Went on holiday with my best mate who I'd lost touch with Re connected with lots of people Faced my biggest phobia and beat it Forged a more meaningful relationship with my family Did a sky dive Got a tattoo Got contact lenses Joined a dating web site This all took a lot of strength and she was still at the forefront of my mind through most of it but I used that pain as fuel, meditated on it, exercised on it and eventually the thoughts of her (and him!) started to ease. Now I NEVER would have thought this next bit possible - as far as I was concerned, I'd never meet any one like my ex again and would certainly never be able to have another relationship with a girl. She was 'The One' my 'Soul Mate' She was the girl I was going to marry!! Since joining the dating website my confidence has been slowly building and I've been on a few dates - last night I left this great girls house at 2am and am looking forward to having lunch with her today. I think it's possible that she is girlfriend material and I am finally free of those nagging thoughts about the ex. Like I said, it's taken serious effort but believe me when I say this... I was near suicidal at the beginning of this mental emotional roller coaster but I am pretty much healed now. It's taken 8 months, a lot of money and effort but I am finally 99% there. I will never forget 'The one that got away' but I wish her the best with her life - she deserves it, but you know what? So do I, and so do you. If I can get to where I am today from where I was back in January; so can you. Be strong, focus on yourself and be the best you can be - This too shall pass. Peace!
Buttercup84 Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Thank you so much for that . I really needed that , I had to move back home and restart it all . I was near suicidal and it's only been 6 weeks . I'm so glad you're better . It gives me so much hope .
dreamingoftigers Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 So glad to hear how awesome you are doing!
loverboy1984 Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 **APPLAUSE** Im very happy for you and thankful that you came on here and shared your journey with us. I can relate alot to your feelings and the things you have done. I was with my ex 6yrs and had planned on getting engaged next year. I guess I dodged a bullet there. Its been 5 months for me but each day has been an emotional roller coaster. I hope that when Im at 8 months I will be where you are. Good luck with everything and keep us posted.
Viv Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Thankyou, I needed that too, am also back at home for a while, this gives me hope!
Buttercup84 Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Glad im not the only one back at home viv . Hope you're ok .
Viv Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Thanks, yes I try not to think about it too much, remind myself that at least I have somewhere warm and comfortable to go, and hopefully it wont be for too long. Hope you're ok too. x
fresh8 Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Very positive post brokendreamz. I haven't visited here in a while because only just got internet back as I've moved into a new place. It's been 6 months for me and to see where you are now gives me a lot of hope.
Arlia Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Thanks for that. We're all on the road to recovery and it's reassuring to hear from people who got out of the tunnel. Breakups are really a wakeup call so we must learn from that and improve ourselves in the meantime. Being sad and depressed is necessary of course (and inevitable), but it's up to US to make it a worthwhile experience.
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