waliz Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 I never could have appreciated the effect cheating has on a person until it happened to me. I always saw my partner as the type of person who would never, ever, ever cheat. Then I learned he went away with a women (who I have always suspected). It will be very hard to trust again. If this man can cheat, any man can. I will always be just a little leery. The second thing I learned is that I, and I suspect others, will always have something in my head that he liked her better. There must have been something wrong with me. And finally, I can't get it out of my head that I wasn't good enough. My point is this: cheaters have no idea the damage they inflict. In all my relationships in the past I never doubted my partner. We are breaking up now. Not because of the cheating but because he didn't feel like he liked me anymore. He broke my heart.
dreamingoftigers Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 It's true. They have no idea. But as well: it has nothing to do with whether you were enough or not. Think about it: if you had a boyfriend that you cared for, would anything cause you to cheat. Probably not. You would break up with him with dignity if he "wasn't enough." or you wouldn't cheat on him because you don't believe in that. Not everyone holds to that standard. They settle in themselves to do immoral things that they justify to themselves. Often they don't truly think highly if themselves because things outside of them dictate who they are and what they do. They themselves feel that they aren't enough and can't be honest if something bothers them about a relationship or they have an urge not to be committed. How he reacted to his life and relationship is internal. His cheating is no reflection of you. Just like your choice not to cheat would not be a reflection of him. It would be a reflection of your values. And your standards.
Damia Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 How he reacted to his life and relationship is internal. His cheating is no reflection of you. Just like your choice not to cheat would not be a reflection of him. It would be a reflection of your values. And your standards. Well said! I like this a lot I had not looked at things this way,Thanks
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