GoodOnPaper Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 But the strange thing about this last experience is that it started off as a sexual thing, and then after a couple of weeks he started talking about having feelings of liking me, then all of a sudden the equipment stopped working. Sorry, I was getting a judge-a-book-by-its-cover vibe. Yeah, that situation does seem a little strange -- were you guys on different long-term/short-term pages?
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Both multiple partners and tame sex are ways of avoiding deep intimacy. I agree that it can be... although I do think there are forms of deep intimacy that exist without needing to be achieved/expressed through a sexual medium, let alone one of consistent intensity.
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Surprising -- in my experience, no woman has ever tried . . . or else they've been really bad at it. err, sorry for your luck? But I was alluding to the human's primitive side which... is evident in more than just sex (violence, power, etc). Maybe no woman can access it because you have it all barred off though =p... I've known some people who are terrified by "unleashing" it... like they'd lose control or something and go nuts... lol...
Author Beachgirl8 Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 This thread isn't about placing blame on one gender or another and honestly, "bringing out a man's animal side" when he DOESN'T want you to bring it out because he is experiencing some kind of inner conflict with it isn't going to work anyway. It's up to him, in the end. And the same could be if it were a female who was withdrawing from sex. There could be multiple reasons/explanations as to why... . This is how I am thinking of it right now. If he has some sort of demons to work out in his mind, then I can't force him to. If he works out the issues in his mind he knows how to find me. I'm not mad and we are still technically friends, but if he thinks the only way he can be sexually satisfied is with randoms that he doesn't care for, I don't have the ability to change that. Maybe given some time alone he will analyze the situation and deal with it. I know he misses me, and I miss him too. But i don't think the time is right and it takes both people wanting the same things or at least being on the same page for it to ever work out favorably.
Author Beachgirl8 Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 Sorry, I was getting a judge-a-book-by-its-cover vibe. Yeah, that situation does seem a little strange -- were you guys on different long-term/short-term pages? I think we were both a bit surprised that we ended up liking each other so much and got along so well. Neither he nor I were looking for a long term commitment when we first hooked up. I was still burnt out on relationships after my LTR ended a few years ago. But another thing I've learned from being with this guy is that I AM tired of being single and I think I am ready to commit to another LTR. It just can't be with this guy, obviously. But that's ok. I am optimistic about the future.
Author Beachgirl8 Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 Not mutually exclusive. My H and I have this, longterm. The openness to intimacy is important. Both multiple partners and tame sex are ways of avoiding deep intimacy. Look for a man who is intensely passionate, in bed and out. Someone who feels deeply, and expresses freely. Confirmation that what I want does exist in real life! Good, that's all the inspiration I need. I will persevere on my search and im sure I'll get what I want in due time. (Sorry guys I know I'm blowing up my own thread but all your responses have been SO helpful to me today!)
bluenightowl Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Nope. This is a legit question (at least in my mind) I'm not trying to get attention or get hit on here. I just want to figure out how to accomplish my goal in real life. I have no trouble meeting guys. My experience has been that they either want to "wife" me and be all boring/have hangups about sex/ low sex drive/ get upset that I'm open minded about sex OR they like to have sex and are allergic to cuddling and hanging out, and want to be a player or whatever. Which is fine, good for them- have at it. I'm just trying to find someone who can handle both. I don't think I'm asking for the impossible. Why is this so difficult to find? I think there are lots of guys out there like that. How to find them, I really don't know. You just have to keep dating and hope to find one that is like you. You might try a few men who you know or think are more experienced. They might be warm great people who want to try new things like you.
dispatch3d Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Everyone has their demons they have trouble talking about - for some guys its women..... well probably for all guys.
samphs Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 All of my boyfriends were A and B I guess I'm lucky....
Dust Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I personally have the oposit problems. Most girls talk a big game like "oh I love sex I can never get it enough from all my past bf's I had to beg them" and then I come a long and after a few months they start to cool down. The longer I know a girl the more perverted I become and I start off pretty perverted. Example would be I'd have no problem T-bagging a girl in the begining of a relationship. If it ever got to the point where we were having kids togather I'd want to drink her breast milk or some wild sht like that. Thats how I roll.
Pasttense Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 OP, have you advertised on some of the online dating sites for this combination?
Dust Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 OP, have you advertised on some of the online dating sites for this combination? I doubt that would be a good idea.
Author Beachgirl8 Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 I personally have the oposit problems. Most girls talk a big game like "oh I love sex I can never get it enough from all my past bf's I had to beg them" and then I come a long and after a few months they start to cool down. The longer I know a girl the more perverted I become and I start off pretty perverted. Example would be I'd have no problem T-bagging a girl in the begining of a relationship. If it ever got to the point where we were having kids togather I'd want to drink her breast milk or some wild sht like that. Thats how I roll. Dust way to bump up a thread of my random thoughts from a month ago and sexify it with talk of breast milk. Impressive. I think we should get married. I'm not having any more kids though so no milk- you will have to think of something much dirtier to impress me
Woggle Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Some men think sexual women are more likely to cheat so they tend to avoid these types. I don't agree with it but that is how some men think.
Author Beachgirl8 Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 Some men think sexual women are more likely to cheat so they tend to avoid these types. I don't agree with it but that is how some men think. Understandable assumption. But I've never cheated, ever. And never would. Cheating is a choice, not a disposition in my opinion.
Dust Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Dust way to bump up a thread of my random thoughts from a month ago and sexify it with talk of breast milk. Impressive. I think we should get married. I'm not having any more kids though so no milk- you will have to think of something much dirtier to impress me It’s good thread. You can thank Samphs though for bumping it! I don’t even consider drinking breast milk dirty. I’m pretty creative.
neghitzbrah Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Blah. You have to find that right person who craves sex as much as you do. My ex had a big sex drive, but still mine was even stronger and stayed strong throughout while hers kind of mellowed down. I usually become very perverted and sexually forward with women once I have sex with them regardless of a relationship or not. This tends to bring them back wanting more. My problem is, I can't seem to find a girl who is into this as much as I am. If it was up to me, I'd have sex 2-3 times a day. In fact, my ex and I went at it from 3-5 times a day to at least once a day by the time we hit 5 years. The only reason why it dropped down was because we got busy with work. Of course, I used to get shot down a few times when I'd wake her up at 3:00 AM for it, LOL. This is really funny now that I think about it. I get so sexual that I end up making moves in public. It's nuts! It actually pissed off some girls who I dated. Luckily I don't date those kind of women anymore. Not because they aren't "sexual enough," but because they don't act on the same level I do. I don't think it has to do with how sexual or how "womanly" you are, OP. It has to do with the compatibility in your animal instincts in bed. Looks like there is hope that there are other women out there like me. Thanks OP!! Just curious, OP... where is the craziest place you ever had sex in?
CarrieT Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 I'm one of these women who has done exactly what has been suggested... I have been advertising on a BDSM site that while I crave the animalistic, experimenting-type of a sexual relationship, but I want it to include "vanilla" interests such as cuddling, art museums, theater, etc. A lot of the BDSM sites are for people who live the lifestyle 24/7 but I have made a point of stating that it has to be a combination of the intellectual and emotional which has to exist before the sexual. I get deluged with guys who offer such a lifestyle and it is more exhausting vetting these potential partners to find the one that might fit best. In the grand scheme of what some of these guys want, I am fairly tame (no scat, urine or blood), but by laying out one's hard-limits, interests, and experience, I'm having a pretty interesting time with some amazing prospects. Perhaps it is wrong to go about it in this fashion, but I'm pragmatic that if I don't play around too much or too early in a potential relationship, I'll find someone that will offer the whole package.
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