ilikepeas Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Long story short, my boyfriend of five years dumped me on Monday. On his porch. In front of a group of his friends. And then drove off to go to a party. We were definitely having issues and I ALMOST felt like the break up was necessary..but he finally did the deed and I found myself shocked and heartbroken. I have not spoken to him since he dumped me, but its been the hardest thing ever. 5 days has never seemed so long. I know from mutual friends that he has been drinking all week and doing God knows what. This just makes me sadder..I miss him and have been holding onto this stupid dream that he will suddenly realize the error of his ways and come back. But I'm also hung up on the fact that when we were dating, he disrespected me and ended up being black out drunk way too often, among other issues. I also know he is extremely stubborn so I'm not sure why I think he will cave and contact me first. I've seen from his facebook that he is painting me as the bad guy in all of this. It makes me sick seeing his friends rally behind him like he is the victim, but I am at least proud of myself that I have not gotten involved in any of it whatsoever and have not engaged in any social networking drama or any other drama for that matter. But it still hurts like hell..I am crying often, spending time going over everything in my head, and worst of all, struggling to motivate myself not to contact him. He is the one who decided he didn't want me, and contacting him would just give him another opportunity to reject me. Thats the last thing I need, right? :/
Nohbody Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Read this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/
solobeary Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 (edited) God, you poor thing. That sounds awful. It sounds like you are being SO strong and sensible. There's no point getting involved or contacting him. He is clearly in a completely different universe that has nothing to do with reality, so all you can do is stay away from that. Can you delete everyone involved off facebook so you don't need to see any of it? This place really helps for staying strong during no contact. Best of luck and stay strong! That's really, really impressive you haven't reacted back after everything horrible he's put you through. Edited August 27, 2011 by solobeary
Author ilikepeas Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 Now I feel like an idiot..I called him because I have a ton of his stuff and he has some stuff of mine. I'm sad because I know deep down that "needing to figure out a time to exchange stuff" was just an excuse to call him and see him. Of course he didn't answer so on top of being disappointed in myself I am heartbroken that he could have ignored me. I can't do this
GgirlBgirl Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I know how you feel it's been a week today since my ex dropped off my stuff and that was the day before we actually broke up. We had been on a break for 12 days at that point. He didn't get his things so the next day I demanded a conversation, we broke up and I gave him back his things and what would have been my anniversary present to him. I do still have a desk he bought for my place so he can do work. I thought about calling him to pick it up since I'm moving. But if he really wants the desk (it was a 700 desk), he can call me and pick it up at my convenience. In the mean time, my roommate and I have a really nice spare table. It's hard and my friends, the Greg behrendt break up audio book, and this community are the only things keeping me sane with my dignity intact. It will get better. Focus on stuff that you kinda never did because of the time he took up. Every time I felt like this would be the end of me, I survive another day. You're not alone. We all are here and dealing and moving on.
M2155 Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 You have to let it be. Give yourself a goal of like going 15-30 days without contact. Then follow it with another. Try to stay busy. Just remember he walked away so it should be on him to reconnect after he realizes how much he screwed up. He treated you bad during the relationship, you were even thinking about ending it (I was in a similar position and I wish I had of done that before it got to the point that it did). It's VERY hard to stay NC when you are going through all these feelings but he doesn't deserve or appreciate your effort. Don't risk being ignored. His friends will continute to smirk when he tells them you are trying to stay in touch with him. Take the time to heal while he is drowning in booze. You'll come out stronger when he will look back and feel like an idiot. Don't worry, that day will come, it won't be tomorrow, but in time he will contact you again you'll find yourself better off and maybe moved on.
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