Author ksmit Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 Because when I had the chance, I became too nervous and couldn't do it. If I had the chance again though I think I would have.
krz12 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Do you all think for sure he waited too long, or was she never interested in the first place? To be honest its a bit difficult to picture too many late 20s women with early 20s men.
Author ksmit Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 Without a doubt she was interested. Trust me.
krz12 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Without a doubt she was interested. Trust me. Hmph, well, lesson learned I guess. I was rooting for you.
Author ksmit Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 Appreciate it. Sorry I don't have the energy right now to explain all the reasons.
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 After her flaking out 3 times this week for another night walk last minute, I feel like I'm being too available and want to give her space with only the occasional email here and there (don't want to go cold turkey on her, she's a great girl and never hurt me). Up until yesterday I was visiting, emailing, texting, and talking to her every day since our romantic Sunday trying to get her to go out. Last couple times I've seen her face to face though she has looked me in the eyes with a sad face and just said that she's "tired". Now that I think of it, she's tired of waiting for me... I get uncomfortable in this situation and just say I'm sorry to hear. Since she flaked out 3 times, I told her my feelings to dispel any doubts in her mind. Now I don't text her anymore, visit her anymore, and only make the occasional email just to keep in touch with her. She responds, but not like she used to. She used to use smiley faces all the time until I came forward. Now this is where I need you guys again. She doesn't seem to be the girl who often comes across guys she's interested in (and I'm the same way, w/ girls...) and might be desperate for someone like me. She was chasing me for months before I even agreed to go out with her. How should I behave at this point to maximize my chances of her coming back to me? Just live on and appear to be content without her right?
antinko Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Stop analyzing. I'm a very patient person but this thread is frustrating to read. Basically, you've been trying to manipulate the situation and, if it hasn't already, it'll become apparent to the girl. She probably is very interested in you and it looks like you've had lots of opportunities to make a move (hell, she couldn't have been more obvious if she'd had it tatooed on her forehead) but you didn't make the move. Making the move to kiss someone is just something that you do. The Nike corporation has the slogan right: 'Just do it'. Don't over think it; don't plan it; don't agonize. Simply, if there is the slightest inkling she might be interested...go for it. She's agreed to go on dates with you and she's reciprocated affection. If she didn't want to be kissed, I reckon she'd probably have acted more distant far sooner. To be honest, I'd stop asking advice and simply go with your instincts.
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Thanks antinko. I have not been manipulating the situation. I was giving her tons of attention up until yesterday when she responded to my upfront message without any romantic interest in return. I took it as a hint she just wanted to be friends or was sick of trying. I don't know how I should behave to her because things are a little awkward now. Should I still be social but just cut back and not ask her out every single day?
antinko Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 The fact that you're getting advice trying to play your cards right so to speak is a form of manipulation. I didn't mean it in a bad way, but you understandably want a certain outcome and are trying to take the 'right' action to get it. In truth, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be and you won't ruin the situation by just following your heart. I know it sounds a bit wooly, but you're dealing with a human being and thoughts and feelings cannot always be read accurately. You will make mistakes and you will get some things right, but that's just life. Be you. It's obvious she's attracted to you so maybe exercising a bit more confidence and being more upfront would be a pleasant surprise to her? I don't know because I don't know her, but every person works differently. Sure, there are rules of thumb you can follow and 'laws of attraction' are true to an extent, but nothing is set in stone.
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 (edited) At this point, would it be weird to send her a random text apologizing for not kissing her the other night? I have some doubts my intentions still aren't clear to her. I told her that I found her very attractive but that's about it. Nothing about taking it to the next level or asking her out again (she was supposed to get the hint) All I wanted to hear back was that "I find you attractive too". The Friday workday has passed and I never even asked her about her weekend plans let alone suggesting going out again... That's because she's been bailing out of the walks. Damn I feel like an a-hole and so confused. I guess I just want to know if anyone has a hunch on what she might be thinking. Edited September 2, 2011 by ksmit
Professor X Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 at this point, would it be weird to send her a random text apologizing for not kissing her the other night? don't do it . Nike.
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 So just don't do anything. Got it Professor X.
Professor X Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 So just don't do anything. Got it Professor X. Didn't say that, I said don't you dare send her a message you regret not kissing her. Girls aren't interested in that. Just act like you usually do. Be nice to her and kind see where it goes.
antinko Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 You're not an a-hole...you've seemed to act like a total gentleman towards her to be honest so give yourself a break. And no, don't text her. Texting is regarded differently by different people. Some people use it practically as their primary form of communication and others don't put much thought into it at all so don't read too much into it. Honestly... Don't apologise for anything either...you've done nothing wrong. Just see where things lead and if it feels right...well...basically what Professor X said.
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 I sent her an email this morning about how she was doing and the first thing she asked me was what I did last night (we were supposed to get together). If she wasn't romantically still interested, why would she care what I did last night? I'm tempted to ask her out again this weekend just to see how she responds. I don't know if she wants more space or for me to be more aggressive! D:
antinko Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 If she wants you, she probably wants you to just ask her out, go out and kiss her. Stop second guessing what she wants and do what you feel you should do.
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Well I suppose that only leaves me with one option if I want her. Asking her out again. How do I convince her it will be special though? Something simple as "I want to take you some place special this time" might give her a big hint things are going to a higher level.
antinko Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Erm...wouldn't pile on any pressure tbh. I'd ask her out, maybe for a meal, and see where it goes from there. Honestly, I'm no expert and just tend to go with how each situation 'flows' when it comes to my experiences. I don't really believe in any systems or a 'correct' way to act (other than being self assured). Keep things relaxed and just be your obviously charming self.
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