rafallus Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 You can't prepare to this, really. I never could, always ended up in far different circumstances than first imagined. Wouldn't it be boring to have it other way though?
thatone Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 you're not preparing for a test, you're dealing with another person. there is nothing to prepare for.
Author ksmit Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 Looks like it's going to be yesterday all over again. Approaching mid-afternoon and she hasn't responded to my text or call. Yesterday when I phoned her she sounded tired and not too thrilled about going out. She's had a lot going on lately I'll admit, but I'm 99% sure I've emotionally drained her because I never delivered what she's been waiting for (a kiss/making a move). The question now is there ANYTHING I can do to regain her interest, or does once a girl become tired of trying they give up completely to a point of no return? Can any girls on this forum relate to how she might be feeling or know what can I tell her next time I talk to her? Since she is not likely to go out with me again, I CAN still visit her desk if I choose to talk to her face to face. I feel like I need to approach this situation carefully now. Next time I talk to her, could I say she doesn't seem to be being herself lately and if something is wrong? I feel like I need to acknowledge her behavior but don't know how. Should I admit I haven't treated her as well as I should have and apologize? Then tell her I'd like to make it up to her?Next time I email her, spill a little out about how I feel about her without being too emotional? Today will be the second time she's agreed to going out and ended up backing out of. The day is still a little early, but no contact by now is not a good sign.
thatone Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 you are over analyzing, stop. you have no idea what she's thinking or feeling until you see her in person again.
Author ksmit Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 So just keep talking to her like this weekend never happened and just hope she wants to go out again? You saying there's nothing nice I can do/say to her that would make her feel better?
thatone Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 nope, nothing you can do, because you don't know what the real issue is. maybe she's hoping you'll go away. maybe it's that time of the month and she has especially bad cramps or something. maybe she ate some bad food and is really sick. maybe she just wants time alone to think about something. you don't know, so there's nothing you can do. acting on assumptions will only make it worse. acting on assumptions is when you're ready to get rid of her, not try and keep her.
Author ksmit Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 I have a feeling if I would have arranged something on Thursday or didn't ignore her on Friday we would have went out one of the days. But even though I'm about 95% sure, I suppose there's a chance there are other issues. Maybe she just needs some time to recuperate some of her energy so she can be ready to go for me again next week. 8)
ASG Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 If she sounded enthusiastic when you asked her out, chances are she really IS ill. If I'm not interested I just make up lame excuses, and don't act at all excited at the prospect of going out. That being said, though, when I do get fed up with a guy for not making a move, that is it. About a year ago, I met this guy and we kinda clicked. We slept together, then added each other on Facebook. So far so good, I wasn't necessarily expecting things to proceed, in any case. So he starts chatting with me every day, on FB chat. Which I though was nice, we had great rapport and a few things in common. He kept saying we should meet up, have dinner, all that, but never actually made a move. He would, at times, suggest that I went to his place, usually late at night, in a booty call kinda way, but I wasn't having any of it and became fed up. Eventually just him coming to say "Hi" annoyed me, so I ended up blocking him on FB chat and dodging his invitations for dinner.
Author ksmit Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 If she sounded enthusiastic when you asked her out, chances are she really IS ill. If I'm not interested I just make up lame excuses, and don't act at all excited at the prospect of going out. Thanks for the post! They seem like lame excuses to me. She'll send a followup text mid-day saying she just woke up and is sorry. I'll text her back to set up another time and she'll agree right away with a smiley face. Last couple times I talked to her on the phone she sounded depressed. Maybe she really just doesn't have the energy to go out (and I know how that feels!). That being said, though, when I do get fed up with a guy for not making a move, that is it. In what context are you referring to not making a move? Sounds like him not making a move was never even making an effort to take you out except for the occasional booty call. In my case, it's not touching her or giving her a kiss. ASG - What do you think about actually asking her out to something big next weekend and planning it well ahead? Something like a sporting event or concert? Wish there were more romantic things to do that would offer better privacy. Perhaps I should find a nice restaurant that has round booths so I can really get close to her and put my arm around her. Face to face tables suck.
ASG Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I think you should keep on trying. Maybe even for a drink after work and make your intentions known. With that guy, he was all talk and no action and I got fed up with it. With you, she may think you aren't interested at all and is starting to move on, as you don't make a move. Up the flirtation a notch with some touching and see how she responds.
Author ksmit Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 she may think you aren't interested at all and is starting to move on, as you don't make a move. Up the flirtation a notch with some touching and see how she responds. I tried to get together yesterday and today and she got herself out of it both times. I suppose I'll try to take her out again next weekend and if it's the same ****, I'm done with her.
Author ksmit Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 (edited) She ended up inviting me out Sunday last minute on a late night walk (was shocked). It turned out to be a lovely night and she looked absolutely stunning. Still no first kiss (regretfully), but we did end the night with a romantic hug (her pressing her chest up against me and holding me good, we grazed arms when we pulled away from each other as if we didn't want to let go, just lovely). Might not sound like much, but this is the first real contact we've had and I think we both felt something. If time didn't feel like it was going fast forward, I would have held onto her and tried to make a move. Next time I'll be ready. All the reading I've done says you're not supposed to kiss a girl anyway without some touching first. So now that's done. I should also mention I was touching her frequently on the walk. For a moment I had my arm around her holding her close to me. So the next day I told her how much I enjoyed spending time with her and she agreed suggesting we do it again before this week is over. Everything is going grand, but when I met her face-to-face at work yesterday and today, I noticed she was generally avoiding eye contact with me. She would make occasional glances in my eyes, but would often be looking down or away. However, our emails and texts are going better than ever. She's been writing more than I do. I suggested going out again tonight, but she was saying maybe. With that in combination of her poor eye contact, it looked like she was hinting that she didn't want to go. You know what though, I feel awkward around her too now. Perhaps we're both just shy from the other night and will eventually push through it. Anyone familiar with this behavior? Could that romantic night have stirred up her emotions a little bit and left her wanting more? Edited August 30, 2011 by ksmit
Author ksmit Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 It's a no-go for tonight, but she did seem legitimately busy.
thatone Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 so you didn't kiss her and instead went home and googled kissing. /palmface JUST DO IT. there is nothing to learn, nothing to explain, nothing to figure out. you just do it.
Author ksmit Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 I actually knew that before. No word on why she might be avoiding eye contact? I want to believe I haven't blown it yet.
Professor X Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 No kiss yet again.. Yeah, go google about kissing some more hahaha. ............................................________ ....................................,.-'"...................``~., .............................,.-"..................................."-., .........................,/...............................................":, .....................,?......................................................, .................../...........................................................,} ................./......................................................,:`^`..} .............../...................................................,:"........./ ..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../ ............./__.(....."~-,_..............................,:`........../ .........../(_...."~,_........"~,_....................,:`........_/ ..........{.._$;_......"=,_......."-,_.......,.-~-,},.~";/....} ...........((.....*~_......."=-._......";,,./`..../"............../ ...,,,___.`~,......"~.,....................`.....}............../ ............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-" ............/.`~,......`-...................................../ .............`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....,__ ,,_..........}.>-._...................................|..............`=~-, .....`=~-,__......`,................................. ...................`=~-,,.,............................... ................................`:,,...........................`..............__ .....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==`` ........................................_..........._,-%.......` ...................................,
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I actually knew that before. No word on why she might be avoiding eye contact? I want to believe I haven't blown it yet. Ok from a girl's perspective a hug is like automatically( Can't spell) putting her in the friend zone!! I get that you are shy, but even something like I had an awesome time tonight and I am glad that we finally went on a date" Is like perfect!! Saying hey.. had a great time but I like you in a romantic way!! Then if all you do is hug or a kiss on the cheek she knows you aren't trying to be her "friend". And thatone I did a faceplam too!! Seriously though my first kiss I was TERRIFIED but just let things flow if you are nerveous she will sense it and it becomes awkward.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 No kiss yet again.. Yeah, go google about kissing some more hahaha. ............................................________ ....................................,.-'"...................``~., .............................,.-"..................................."-., .........................,/...............................................":, .....................,?......................................................, .................../...........................................................,} ................./......................................................,:`^`..} .............../...................................................,:"........./ ..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../ ............./__.(....."~-,_..............................,:`........../ .........../(_...."~,_........"~,_....................,:`........_/ ..........{.._$;_......"=,_......."-,_.......,.-~-,},.~";/....} ...........((.....*~_......."=-._......";,,./`..../"............../ ...,,,___.`~,......"~.,....................`.....}............../ ............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-" ............/.`~,......`-...................................../ .............`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....,__ ,,_..........}.>-._...................................|..............`=~-, .....`=~-,__......`,................................. ...................`=~-,,.,............................... ................................`:,,...........................`..............__ .....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==`` ........................................_..........._,-%.......` ..................................., Our mission failed X!! And here I thought the mission would be a success. And LOVE the picture lol!
Author ksmit Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Ok from a girl's perspective a hug is like automatically( Can't spell) putting her in the friend zone!! Danielle, I appreciate your reply but don't know if you read my whole post as you didn't acknowledge any of my points. Any hug instantly puts me in the friend zone? Even if it's romantic? Are you saying that because I simply hugged her, I've lost and there's no way to save it regardless to the other things that happened that night? Does a switch really flick in your brains that instantly turns off romantic interest for getting hugged even if it's by a guy you really like and still like? Our mission failed X!! And here I thought the mission would be a success. And LOVE the picture lol! I don't know how serious you are Danielle when you said I've failed, but did hugging her really blow it all? What about the fact that I was touchy with her throughout the night (for the first time) and telling her she looked amazing? Despite the hug, it should be obvious to her that I'm into her. How about the fact she wanted to see me again before the end of the week? Please give me some encouragement and hope people. This is very difficult for me and I need to feel good about this. Thanks.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Danielle, I appreciate your reply but don't know if you read my whole post as you didn't acknowledge any of my points. Any hug instantly puts me in the friend zone? Even if it's romantic? Are you saying that because I simply hugged her, I've lost and there's no way to save it regardless to the other things that happened that night? Does a switch really flick in your brains that instantly turns off romantic interest for getting hugged even if it's by a guy you really like and still like? I don't know how serious you are Danielle when you said I've failed, but did hugging her really blow it all? What about the fact that I was touchy with her throughout the night (for the first time) and telling her she looked amazing? Despite the hug, it should be obvious to her that I'm into her. How about the fact she wanted to see me again before the end of the week? Please give me some encouragement and hope people. This is very difficult for me and I need to feel good about this. Thanks. No you didn't totally blow it, but next time you see her make it clear that you are intrested romanticly and not just as a friend. You didn't lose your chance trust me but girls we tend to overthink things so she may have been thinking "does he really like me, if so why didn't he kiss me". You need to make your "intentions" clear. Even if it is saying I love being around you and the date we had was amazing and I really want to see you again, and maybe this time I will give you a goodnight kiss at the end. Or something like that. But leave NO ROOM for her to think she is just a "friend"
Author ksmit Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 She's delayed another walk twice now and still avoiding eye contact. She apologized and suggested "maybe" going out tomorrow but I feel like she's just trying to be polite in telling me she doesn't want to be around me. I'm pretty sure it's over now but I'm actually content about it and feel like weight has been lifted. At this point, can I just lay all the cards out and tell her what's really on my mind and be open about it? Otherwise I'm just going to ignore her now until and if she ever comes back to me. I feel like I need to write her a heartfelt farewell. I'd still love to have her. If you guys can dig me out of this one I'll really be in debt to you.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 She's delayed another walk twice now and still avoiding eye contact. She apologized and suggested "maybe" going out tomorrow but I feel like she's just trying to be polite in telling me she doesn't want to be around me. I'm pretty sure it's over now but I'm actually content about it and feel like weight has been lifted. At this point, can I just lay all the cards out and tell her what's really on my mind and be open about it? Otherwise I'm just going to ignore her now until and if she ever comes back to me. I feel like I need to write her a heartfelt farewell. I'd still love to have her. If you guys can dig me out of this one I'll really be in debt to you. One last shot, say I know you have been busy lately but I was looking forward to seeing you again, and tell you that I like you and was to shy to admit that night after our walk. GOOD LUCK!
Professor X Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 I'd still love to have her. If you guys can dig me out of this one I'll really be in debt to you. WE can't dig you out it, don't you get it? We can show you the door, but you have to walk through it. We all told you to go for a kiss and you went for a hug; Not much we can do.
Author ksmit Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 (edited) I admitted to her that I'm very attracted to her and that getting to know her was one of the best experiences of my summer. I also admitted that I don't open up easily and regret not telling her all of this sooner. She responded saying she really enjoys being with me but showed zero sign of romantic interest. I want to thank everyone for their efforts and I've learned a lot. It's been the most intense roller-coaster I've ever been on and think I stand a much better chance next time. For the first time I actually have dating experience now! Edited September 1, 2011 by ksmit
rafallus Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 I admitted to her that I'm very attracted to her and that getting to know her was one of the best experiences of my summer. Burning question: So how come you had not kissed her?
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