constant_surprises Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I know this sounds ridiculous, but as a 19-year-old female with no dating history with guys (all previous relationships with girls), guy-communication is still very foreign to me and I can't make much sense of how their brains work. I can tell though that their thought process is much different than mine. So, at the risk of sounding like a high schooler, how can I tell if the guy I've been seeing for about nine months is falling in love with me? I'm getting vibes that he feels that way, but I have no basis for comparison.
thatone Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 9 months? i find it hard to believe that it isn't obvious. does he want to spend the vast majority of his free time with you? after 9 months your schedules together should be fairly routine. if he isn't cancelling and you're seeing each other the same amount of time or more every week, that's indication #1.
Author constant_surprises Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 I should probably be more specific - we've been having sex for 9 months, not dating. We are seeing each other two or three times a week, hanging out like I would with any other friend, plus making gorgeous chemistry with our bodies via incredible sexcapades. I would absolutely consider him one of my best friends. Is there any better way to find out how he feels than to just ask?
dreamingoftigers Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Overall using sex as a relationship starter is a bad, bad idea. Guys can separate sex and love right down the middle. We can't as well so we end up getting attached. Asking him would be the most efficient way but only if you are prepared to hear the answer. One of the best ways I have ever seen the male/female mindset explained was actually the book: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It.
bluenightowl Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Overall using sex as a relationship starter is a bad, bad idea. Guys can separate sex and love right down the middle. We can't as well so we end up getting attached. Asking him would be the most efficient way but only if you are prepared to hear the answer. One of the best ways I have ever seen the male/female mindset explained was actually the book: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. Tough one. I suspect you have deep feelings for him now after 9 months. I think you need to talk to him if its bothering you. After 9 months you should be able to talk to him openly. However, I agree, be prepared in case you don't get the answer you were looking for. What IF he says he doesn't feel the same way. What would you do then? Just continue and wait another 9 months? Its tricky, but still you should talk about it if its not already clear where he stands.
FitChick Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I should probably be more specific - we've been having sex for 9 months, not dating. Why don't you suggest date type activities, i.e. "I heard that XYZ film is fantastic. Why don't we go on Saturday night and maybe grab a bite to eat before?" If he only wants to have sex, then you are just a FWB.
carhill Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Welcome to LS Is your FWB exclusive? By that I mean have you and he had a clear conversation about exclusivity? I would guard against assuming anything. Also, how old is he and what is his relationship (not FWB) history?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I know this sounds ridiculous, but as a 19-year-old female with no dating history with guys (all previous relationships with girls), guy-communication is still very foreign to me and I can't make much sense of how their brains work. I can tell though that their thought process is much different than mine. So, at the risk of sounding like a high schooler, how can I tell if the guy I've been seeing for about nine months is falling in love with me? I'm getting vibes that he feels that way, but I have no basis for comparison. I really like that you recognize the unique position you're in when trying to reason through this... the last line is great. I'm inclined to ask about your own father... is he in your life? is he a good guy??? It would help a bit to know those things in order to better envision your challenges in figuring guys out.
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