JackDillard Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I said some drunk things to push my ex away and make her think that 'we' didnt have a shot. She pulled away about 3-4 weeks ago and I briefly tried to convince her that those impressions she has were not accurate and not to let this go because of a miscommunication. I then backed off in order to give her space. A week later, she comes over to my place to pick up her ID she left here and we have a good talk and we get physical. She asks when can I see you again and I say this weekend. For a couple of reasons we weren't able to hang out that weekend and she didnt reply to my text Sunday asking to hang out. I then don't hear from her until tuesday when she says hope you are doing well. I say lets talk soon and she says ok. We are supposed to talk on thursday but she cant make it and I leave town on Friday. I get the 'I miss you' text saturday night and reply with 'me too'. I text her on Sunday on my way back into town lets meet and catch up and she texts later that night with 'I'm seeing someone else... thought you should know'. I'm very confused and upset and basically respond "don't ever contact me please'. She sends me a text telling me to check my FB messages cuz she wrote me a note. I don't read this note or respond to the text. I find out from a mutual friend she is in a FB "in a relationship" with this new guy within a few days of ending things with me. Exactly a week from when she drops the new she 'seeing someone else' I get this email from her (monday): Because I simply have no other way of getting ahold of you - trust me I tried - I will be writing you this email. I know there isn't anything I can say to make you understand how sorry I am. I was wrong, in everything. You on the the other hand were nothing short of amazing and treated me with the utmost respect. I told you before and I'll say it again, I have never met anyone like you, and I don't think I ever will. Though my words are pretty much shot to **** because of my actions, I have convinced myself I have to let you know how I feel and what really happened. I met the other guy previous to you and I ever meeting one another. We remained just friends until after we had our "falling out" and my feelings for you began to change. It was then and only then did I begin talking to him with more than friend intentions. You need to know the time we spent together was real and you were the only man consuming my thoughts. You were never "option B", you were my priority. Not that it matters, but I ended things with the other guy. And the first and only thing I thought of when I was doing so was you. I regret giving up something great for something so artificial. I don't deserve you or what you have to offer so this is just my genuine apology. I'm sorry I hurt you and caused you to think twice. If I never hear from you again I understand, you just need to know that you have an incredible hold on me and have left an outlasting impression on me. I want this to be what you think of when and if you ever think of me. You'll be the one that got away. I wish you the best in everything you do. Is this Grass is Greener Syndrome? Its now friday and I haven't responded. Yesterday she sent me a message to let her know if I got her email it cuz my friends won't give her my phone number. I do still have very strong feelings for her but they are now muddled with distrust. I am open to reconciling if she makes it clear she wants to put in a lot of work to rebuild that trust and improve herself. How I should go about getting back in contact with her? Help please!
jerbear Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 She is fishing for a response. Ignore her, she already mentioned you got away. To be honest, her response of not being able to reach you is a cop out. She could call and leave a message versus hiding behind an email. If she wanted to get back with you, she would have pursued you or showed up to kicking your door down. If she is still in a relationship, why would you want her? She is just going from one guy to another.
Author JackDillard Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 She didn't have my number because I asked her to delete it. She tried to ask my best friends GF for my number but she responded with 'we lost a lot of respect for you and we dont want you to have his number'. I asked her to delete me on fb so I do think this was her only way to get a hold of me other than driving across the city and hunting me down. Also, she ended things with the other guy after dating him only for a week or two after me. So she is single
jerbear Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 If you has misgivings right now you will have self doubt later on. As harsh as this sounds, you'll have to just ignore her note. Once you lose trust, it is very hard to get it back.
Sunny-side-up Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Sounds like the other guy wasn't all he seemed to be. "she was wrong", it was "artificial". If you've pushed her away, sometimes, its a natural response to fall into the arms of another to ease the pain of the rejection. However, since she's been seeing this guy whilst sleeping with you.... told you about it.... and then told you a week later shes ended it sounds like a case of.... I love this guy but he's treated me badly... I should try something new....its not working out with something new... and I still love the guy I loved in the first instance. If she has done wrong at least you can say she's been honest about that.... she's admitting shes done wrong. What you need to ask yourself is, why were you pushing her away in the first place? Is the relationship something you really want to salvage or not? Is it worth saving? And, can you trust her again? The answers to those three questions will decide which course of action you should take.
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