qoo0804 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Met a girl online from another country. From the start, she asks me to go there (practically at the end of the world) to meet her. We write for two months during which she spares no efforts in convincing me that everything is going to be fine, that she is very outgoing and that she will still hang out with me as friend and show me around should there be no real connection between us. So I finally go there (very expensive trip) and she dumps me on our first encounter. One week wasted spent by myself there. I have been really dumb and naive to fall for that, but isn't she selfish? Doesn't she have a part of responsibility for all the money and time I spent to go there? She tried very hard to convinced me after all...
elisheva Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I am sorry about what happened to you, it does seem very nasty of her to do that . However I am a bit confused, are you trying to get compensation for the trip, or just have others support you and tell you that you're right to be mad? Because if it's the former, I think you should ask yourself if you'd want her to pay for part of the trip if you had gotten along really well and there was chemistry. I am guessing no. I think that who pays for what is always a sticky situation in LDR, probably should be discussed beforehand in depth to avoid any drama later. Still, that doesn't mean what she did was right, and you did spend money (whether it was a lot or a little) to visit HER, she should've been welcoming even if there wasn't chemistry, so long as there was no conflict between the two of you. But yes, I agree that it was very selfish of her. sorry :(
Author qoo0804 Posted August 27, 2011 Author Posted August 27, 2011 Thanks elisheva, I am not looking for compensation, just compassion. Your message was exactly what I was looking for to feel better.
miamiamia Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Women are often like that. We sometimes think we want something, and moments later realize we don't. Maybe she was determined to meet you and got scared/nervous at the last moment, wait and see if you hear from her again. If you don't, she clearly does not deserve your love.
HeavenOrHell Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 I think she was selfish yes, assuming you treated her well. Met a girl online from another country. From the start, she asks me to go there (practically at the end of the world) to meet her. We write for two months during which she spares no efforts in convincing me that everything is going to be fine, that she is very outgoing and that she will still hang out with me as friend and show me around should there be no real connection between us. So I finally go there (very expensive trip) and she dumps me on our first encounter. One week wasted spent by myself there. I have been really dumb and naive to fall for that, but isn't she selfish? Doesn't she have a part of responsibility for all the money and time I spent to go there? She tried very hard to convinced me after all...
madjac74 Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Met a girl online from another country. From the start, she asks me to go there (practically at the end of the world) to meet her. We write for two months during which she spares no efforts in convincing me that everything is going to be fine, that she is very outgoing and that she will still hang out with me as friend and show me around should there be no real connection between us. So I finally go there (very expensive trip) and she dumps me on our first encounter. One week wasted spent by myself there. I have been really dumb and naive to fall for that, but isn't she selfish? Doesn't she have a part of responsibility for all the money and time I spent to go there? She tried very hard to convinced me after all... I don't think you should look at it as a waste. You got to go and experience another country which many people never get to do! And you should have just met another girl while you were there
HeavenOrHell Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Not just women, men can be like that too, goes both ways Women are often like that. We sometimes think we want something, and moments later realize we don't. Maybe she was determined to meet you and got scared/nervous at the last moment, wait and see if you hear from her again. If you don't, she clearly does not deserve your love.
LittleTiger Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Had she seen clear, current photos of you? Even if she had, and even if she thought he was very attractive to look at, it's still no indication of there being any chemistry between them when they met! qoo0804, I think it's rather sad that the two of you didn't hit it off. I'm sure she invited you in good faith - hoping there would be chemistry. It does seem very selfish and mean of her to dump you completely after the first meeting, but then again, perhaps she felt very uncomfortable with you. Of course, I don't know why she would feel that but it is a possibility - I know I've felt uncomfortable with people on occasion, even with men I know are kind and decent. If this was the case, I'm sure you wouldn't blame her for not spending the week with you. Perhaps the mistake you both made was not getting to know each other well enough before you visited. Did you talk on the phone and on skype on a regular basis? 'Writing' to each other, whether by letter, email or text, is no real indication of how well two people will get along IRL. I'm very sorry this happened, although I'm sure you have learnt a lot from the experience.
FitChick Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 You got to go and experience another country which many people never get to do! And you should have just met another girl while you were there I agree with this.
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