mjv Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 (edited) Hi everybody, This is my first post, and I've been looking for support all over the net, and hoping this will help out a little. A met a woman about 4 months ago on okcupid, and we really hit it off. She was halfway across the country at the time and would be moving to california very soon. We talked everyday, IMs, email, skype, the works...everything we could do via cyberspace. When she came to visit, we had a great time. But I think we weren't prepared for each other and we moved to quickly. I did something, and I should have talked to her about it first. I was an idiot, and the thought just didn't occur to me...and I feel sooooo stupid about it...we should have had a conversation about it first. Unfortunately, another guy in her past had done something very similar and it brought back terrible memories for her. When she finally told me about it, I lost track of how many times I apologized and have yet to get over myself about it. I wish she had said something AT THE TIME when it happened...I don't know but maybe something could have been done and we wouldn't be in the breakup we are now. According to her, she just 'froze' at the time....and I had no idea what was going on. It's been a week and I've been trying to get over things. I feel guilty for not communicating with her as much as I should have as well as resentment for her for not speaking up and talking to me about what was bothering her. I feel sooooo bad for not thinking clearly, and I know now for the future what I need to do. I want to talk with her in a couple months and get some closure to this, and reflect back on the relationship...and a part of me wants to get back with her but I don't know if that's even possible. There's a hole in my heart that I want to stop hurting...and I don't know how to make the pain go away...or the loneliness, or the guilt, or depression. I'm having a difficult time eating, and I feel like I'm in a place where I'm not motivated to do anything, yet I can't just sit around and do nothing, because then I'll just be thinking about the situation. Any suggestions or advice??? Thanks in advance... -Matt Edited August 26, 2011 by mjv
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