captured_butterfly Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Hey guys I posted a thread a couple of weeks ago about being intrested in a guy that works at a bank and i was his client! We got on brilliantly and chatted really easily and have loads in common. Well yesterday was the last day i would see him as ive tied up all my loose ends now and once again we flirted and got on really well and just as i was about to leave he dropped the bombshell that he has 2 kids! He's only 22, im 24 and have no kids and dont intend to for a few years and settled! I know this sounds shallow but all bets were off after he said that and i just wanted to get out of there! As i was leaving he said it had been a pleasure and that he wud give me his number if cctv wasnt on and i just sort of laughed it off then he said 'i have ya number upstairs is it alright to txt ya' and cos i felt on the spot and new to all this dating stuff i said yes! Now ive really given it some thought and i really cant and dont want to date a guy with kids :-( I know some people will slag me off for it but im only 24yrs old and just dont see myself with kids for a long time! I really have my dream of meeting someone and us going on that adventure together without either of us havin gone through it before! (even though my dad said that most guys my age have kids and he doesnt think i'll find one without! Which is BS right?) So me question is what do i say to this guy if he texts me?? So far he hasnt and im hoping he doesnt! But i just feel terrible about it after i made it very clear i was intrested in him! But it is just a deal breaker for me :-( I am genuinely gutted about it! How do i let someone down gently? Ive only ever been with my first love and as i said im very new to all this dating stuff so be nice to me!! Thanx guys xxx
Imajerk17 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Tell the truth. It's perfectly fine and acceptable to not want to date someone with kids....
Andy_K Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Speaking as a guy with a kid, it's fine for you not to want to date a guy who already has them. There are plenty of guys who don't. Just tell him kids are something you don't want to get involved with at this stage in your life. If he doesn't take it well, he wasn't worth dating anyway.
Beachgirl8 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Continuing to show interest in him would end up hurting both of you in the long run. Just tell him you like him and think he's a great guy but you don't want to date anyone with children. When dating, you meet a new person, and over time discover things about them. When you uncover something that is a dealbreaker it's better to end things swiftly to allow both of you to move on to someone else who is a better match. It's sad sometimes but more humane to be honest than lead someone on.
Author captured_butterfly Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Thanx guys for the responses :-) Still not heard anything from him but if i do im just going to be honest about it :-) Just feel really bad and dont like upsetting anyone or letting anyone down but ive got to do whats right for me :-) Just such a shame because apart from the kids we had a lot in common but never mind, i live in hope that i'll find someone who ticks all my boxes :-) xx
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