egh1987 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I met a guy last Saturday night (it's now the following Friday) and we got on really well. He came home with me, and stuff happened which should not have happened, we did sleep together. I know this should not have happened, but it did..... IBut the following morning he asked me if he could stay around chilling with me for the day, so that's what we did, watched a film and just got to know each other etc. Before leaving late afternoon he asked me for my number and said he'd text. He text me the following day, and so since then the messages have been going between us once or twice a day, but not much, as we're both working, and have been quite busy in the evenings. On Wednesday, he text me saying he was tired, so I replied with a good night text. Yesterday, I sent him the first text at lunchtime as I know this is the only chance he gets at work. But I didn't get a reply, nor did I receive anything last night, and neither have I so far today. I know I sound like I'm paranoid, but he did tell me on the weekend that he gets bored easily, and it's up to me to keep him interested. He said he thought I'd be able to do that, but I don't know. I'm beginning to think he text me at the beginning of the week just so I don't feel like a slag and that he used me. Or am I being unreasonable and I should give him more time? I've been hurt in the past and am scared of letting my guard down, but he's a guy I got on with like a house on fire.... What do you think?
Survivor12 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 "he did tell me on the weekend that he gets bored easily, and it's up to me to keep him interested." If a guy said that to me, he'd be history.
Author egh1987 Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 You think that's his way of getting out of it in a few days then yes?
Survivor12 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 After reading that comment, I see no reason to give him any thought at all. He's an arrogant creep, and if I were you, I'd be thrilled and relieved not to hear from him regardless of the reason.
Author egh1987 Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Thanks Survivor12 - it's just I guess we got on really well....
Pierre Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 He came home with me, and stuff happened which should not have happened, we did sleep together. I know this should not have happened, but it did..... But the following morning he asked me if he could stay around chilling with me for the day, so that's what we did, watched a film and just got to know each other etc. Before leaving late afternoon he asked me for my number He had sex with you without knowing you. I suspect a bit of alcohol helped him make that decision. In other words this was sex in a vacuum with a perfect stranger. I give the guy credit for trying to get to know you. He was also gracious and asked for your number. I suspect, he stayed over to see if you were relationship material. At least he did not bail out right away I am not sure why he asked for your number. Maybe he felt it was awkward to leave and not get your number. Maybe he felt a bit of pity for you. His comment saying "is up to you" implies that he needed to say something disrespectful to make you stop texting him. This is a classic example as to why I always tell women not to put out right away. I hope you learned something, but from your post it seems you have done this before. Why do you keep doing this?
Author egh1987 Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 This is a classic example as to why I always tell women not to put out right away. I hope you learned something, but from your post it seems you have done this before. Why do you keep doing this? What do you mean it implies I have done this before? I have never done it before, and I will never do it again. He's the one that has began the texting all week, doesn't that mean that he is a tad interested?
Emilia Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 What do you mean he used you? It seems to me the two of you had sex, he tried to stick around for a while the day after and the following week to see if there was a connection and whether he would want to keep spending time with you. It appears he concluded not. If that bothers you after sex, you should wait longer until you sleep with someone. This is what getting to know someone is like though, sometimes we want more, sometimes we don't.
Pierre Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 What do you mean it implies I have done this before? I have never done it before, and I will never do it again. He's the one that has began the texting all week, doesn't that mean that he is a tad interested? OK, don't do it again. In that way you will not get hurt. Yes, he is interested. If he had sex with you he is interested. Wanting to have sex with a woman implies interest. Is it important for you to know he is interested? You had sex with this man and then next day you said he stayed to get to know you and get your number. You did everything backwards! I suggest: 1. Give phone number 1st 2. Get to know him 2nd 3. And lastly have sex. At this point you should know him real well and be in an exclusive monogamous relationship. You reversed the order of things and that is never a good idea .
Author egh1987 Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 You did everything backwards! I do agree with you, and respect what you say. I just hope that maybe he's been busy yesterday, and I know he's working today, but I hope I'll hear from him tonight. I don't know if it should be me contacting him if I don't, or do I just spare myself the rejection, and wait for him to text. I sound pathetic, I know...!
Survivor12 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 You seem to be missing the point. If he were truly interested in you (for anything more than sex), you wouldn't have to do anything to "make" him interested. Get it? He either is or he isn't. So why concern yourself with why he hasn't been in touch? Do you really want to be with someone you are required to "entertain"? If just being yourself isn't enough to keep him interested then he isn't worth your time. Let it go.
Author egh1987 Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Yes. I agree. I guess everything's meant to run smoothly, and being myself is the only thing I should do. Thank you
grkBoy Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 He came home with me, and stuff happened which should not have happened, we did sleep together. I know this should not have happened, but it did..... Well, if you were just horny, then I don't see it as an issue...but if you wanted something more, then I would have told you to hold off. I never agreed with the logic, but many men ridiculously think a girl who puts out easily is somehow "bad". So guys complain all the time when women withhold on sex or want to take it slow, but they dump women who go quickly. I never understood that...I see it as the girl wants to sleep with me, likes me, so why not try to make it more? Had that happen once, but she apparently had loads of baggage and thus things fell apart because of it. he did tell me on the weekend that he gets bored easily, and it's up to me to keep him interested. He said he thought I'd be able to do that, but I don't know. That's a red flag. I hate those people who claim they get "bored easily". Like somehow stability is no good. Fine...just make that clear early on and stop playing games so the girl or guy can simply choose to say goodnight and not waste time. Sounds like he got bored, and you're better off without him. Go find a guy who is a man, not a boy who needs to be entertained.
Author egh1987 Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 grkBoy Thanks for that. I know what you mean. Not to go into details, we just clicked and got on so well and couldnt help ourselves as for the sleeping together. But as for the bored easily bit, I guess I should have known better. I guess I was fooled when he did all the texting at the beginning of the week....thought he was interested...
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