solobeary Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 One unexpected comfort I've found here at LS is to see all the posts by males who experienced a similar thing to me and are in a similar emotional state to me. When my ex dumped me I started wondering whether everything my angry grandmother ever told me about men might be kind of true (she married an alcoholic psychopath), and that guys don't really care at all. So I'm glad there's lots of different types of nice people here.
Buttercup84 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I know , me too. I always thought men got over breakups faster than women.It is nice to see they actually suffer too.Not that it's nice that they suffer! ( except for our ex's )
Viv Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I agree! I've never known a man who seemed to be having trouble getting over someone, maybe they've all been really good at hiding it.
Buttercup84 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 I think because as women we can talk about it with our friends , cry and it is more socially acceptable for women to be open about it. But I think men are under the pressure from their friends , society etc to man up and not show their hurt.
Viv Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 But all the men I've known deal with it by having as many one night stands as they can, I really thought that practically all men did that. It's strange to see another side.
Buttercup84 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Yeah I agree.My ex signed up for a dating site straight after his gf before me dumped him. And we met soon after . Now apparently he is already on a dating site again.Maybe they need sex to feed their ego.Women can't seperate their emotions as easy during sex. Even if I dumped him , I would want to stay single for ages. Maybe we need a males opinon:)
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 From a guys perspective.... We are supposed to man up and tough out the hard times. I think men think sex is the cure to a breakup, but it's more of a cover up. I think it actually extends the healing period because the guy will try to convince himself that he is over his ex and yes it does give an ego boost.In a way it's like the drug to a drug user, or alcohol to an alcoholic. They will use drugs or alcohol to deal with their stress but because of this they never learn to cope with the stress on their own. Men will use sex in this same fashion (women do this to). Now obviously some men (and women) can use sex as a way of moving on, but I would very highly doubt the majority could. According to a study done by Yahoo (I believe it came from Yahoo, I looked this up months ago). Men that have fallen in love with their significant other and were dumped tend to heal in the time frame of 6 months to 1.5 years. Whereas women who have fallen in love with their significant other and were dumped tend to heal in the time frame of 2 years to 3 years. (healed completely, feels indifferent to their ex)
danceallday Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Thanks for the guy's perspective. It is going to take me 2 years???? Oh for f***'s sake!
Seraph1 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Thanks for the guy's perspective. It is going to take me 2 years???? Oh for f***'s sake! :lmao: :lmao: Just what I was thinking!
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Thanks for the guy's perspective. It is going to take me 2 years???? Oh for f***'s sake! :lmao: :lmao: Just what I was thinking! Keep in mind that it was a survey/study, meaning it only covers a portion of the population and can't be applied to the whole population. It is also judged by healing to the point of feeling complete indifference towards your ex. If you remain NC and do not see your ex at all you may feel this indifference sooner than their specified time frame. I'm not sure what methods were used for the participants to get to that indifferent attitude, for all we know they could have had constant contact with their ex, or had a mixture of people doing NC and people not doing NC. That would certainly skew the results.
M2155 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Yeah that's true as to defining "getting over" I have been "over" guys in a month or two but still thought about them for a looong time after. Still didn't like seeing pics of them with other girls, everything reminded me of them. One BF rode a motorcycle and everytime I saw one for like 9 months I would feel a little twinge memory. Then at some point you pretty much forget all about them. Such a great feeling!
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