Does my science professor admire me as a student or does he "like" me?

[RikRak]

I'm one of the few students he's actually nice to. And I usually get "A"s on his quizzes, exams, and homework.

 

My science professor, however, is pretty serious and sarcastic, and most students think he's unapproachable. He usually gives very short answers and seems annoyed easily. But I've taken him for another class before and got along with him fine. He was very helpful and patient answering my questions.

 

During my current science lab, my professor - who says he remembers me from before - goes around to every student to check on them. He asks questions and talks to them, but never to me. He'll just hang around near my table (listening to my conversations) or stand behind me from a short distance. I feel lots of the pressure, and I'm afraid to make a mistake! Sometimes I just want to ask him, "Did you want to tell me something? Why do you keep watching me?" The only time he talks to me is right before or right after class. And he'll say hi or wave when I pass him on campus.

 

Do you think he avoids speaking to me in front of other students to avoid showing favoritism? My lab partners thought I was in trouble when he called me over at the end of class. I didn't know what to tell them. But he asks me about my future plans and even said, "Awwwww, you're leaving us soon..." I'm planning to transfer to a university, and am almost done with my prerequisite classes.

 

Except for the occasional compliment in class, like "Yes, good answer!" or "That's exactly right," he says nothing to me and avoids eye contact (unless I approach him first to ask a question). But when there are less students around he is staring and even smiling at me. When I look at him, though, he often looks down or away. I'm confused...

Edited August 26, 2011 by RikRak

[denise_xo]

He's your professor. Even if he likes you, the two of you getting involved can ruin his career. As a minimum, stay away from him until you've received all your grades and transferred to the new university.

[RikRak]

Oh, I'm not really interested in him (except for his approval in class). Just curious why his behavior seems so inconsistent. I was just wondering if I'm reading into things. But he's married with two children so that would be bad if he truly was interested in me...

 

And yes, I know better than to get involved with a professor. Thanks, though.

[denise_xo]

Oh, OK. Well, if you're not interested, then I'd say it doesn't really matter unless you think his potential feelings are compromising your situation as a student in any way.

[O'Malley]

None of us can mind read about this situation, but some professors can and do develop harmless crushes on students -- the same way students develop 'intellectual' crushes on their teachers.

 

The best thing to do is to acknowledge the boundaries and stick to them -- you are attracted to his intelligence, maturity (compared to many guys your age) and his approach to subjects, the power differential tends to play a significant role in that attraction. The reality being that you don't really know who he truly is outside of his teaching role and it would not be appropriate for either of you to communicate with the other in any way that isn't based on your coursework (I'm not saying that you currently are).