Bittersweet_Love Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 It's an age old question but one I still struggle with..why do men get close and then back off? I met a guy about a month ago and we have been hanging out and things have been great. We spend time together on the weekends and whenever he asks me to come over I do. We have had a lot of fun together. I made sure we did not sleep together because I did not want to ruin things and I really saw a future with this guy--but there was never any pressure..just fun and cudding etc. Then BAM..two nights ago I go over and we have a great time..cudding, watching a movie, he kisses me goodnight and the next day, I don't hear anything from him all day. He calls me at night and things seem fine...then today I hear NOTHING from him all day. Just one text saying.."Hey hope you had a good day" ...Since I heard nothing from him all day I responded pretty shortly with "Yep..hope you did too" that was IT.....I don't get why guys do this...get close then back off just like that? I would so much rather prefer honesty...it just sucks when this happens. ...I don't even know what I did.
AmEricanWomann Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 It's an age old question but one I still struggle with..why do men get close and then back off? I met a guy about a month ago and we have been hanging out and things have been great. We spend time together on the weekends and whenever he asks me to come over I do. We have had a lot of fun together. I made sure we did not sleep together because I did not want to ruin things and I really saw a future with this guy--but there was never any pressure..just fun and cudding etc. Then BAM..two nights ago I go over and we have a great time..cudding, watching a movie, he kisses me goodnight and the next day, I don't hear anything from him all day. He calls me at night and things seem fine...then today I hear NOTHING from him all day. Just one text saying.."Hey hope you had a good day" ...Since I heard nothing from him all day I responded pretty shortly with "Yep..hope you did too" that was IT.....I don't get why guys do this...get close then back off just like that? I would so much rather prefer honesty...it just sucks when this happens. ...I don't even know what I did. Wait, let me get this straight, you were with the guy just two nights ago. He called you the next evening and he texted you today...By your own admission, you're just "hanging out" with the guy not in a serious relationship , but he communicates with you every day. I'm not sure what you're expecting from him. Perhaps maybe you expect him to call and text multiple times a day because he did that in the begining, but maybe now he feels comfortable with you has gotten to know you, so doesnt think he needs to send you a message every time he takes a crap. You need to just relax. If you start acting like a psycho stalker chick you will send him running for the hills.
somedude81 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 So, basically you get insecure if he doesn't contact you every day? And even then it has to be a lot of contact; one "hope you had a good day" text isn't enough?
carhill Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 In the last month how many times have you proactively contacted the man and expressed your interest in and desire for him? This type of contact is not to be confused with contact which is about you, like when you call a friend up to tell them about your day without real concern about theirs. The latter type of contact is what I call 'letting someone love you' and is IMO unhealthy, especially for the person who is 'let'. In other circumstances, emotional immaturity or diseases, fear, or a myriad of other psychological issues could be in play, along with the inevitable 'other woman'. Hard to know.
Jynxx Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 For me personally, if I would like a girl, hang out at her place, cuddle and have fun but be unable to get anything sexual going for multiple nights, Id consider it a lack of sexual attraction and thus no relationship potential and Id move on. No need to torture myself by being there if nothings going to happen anyway.
oaks Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 why do men get close and then back off? Because we left our glasses at home.
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