bluenightowl Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Have you ever been in the position of stopping to date someone because they weren't ready to date (you likely) and then later you restarted dating them? Would you want to?
Ayla Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 Yes...I am in that situation as we speak. I was seeing/getting to know someone at the end of last year/beginning of this year...he is a good friend of my brothers, and had been hurt really badly by his ex of 10 years and the mother of his child. Anyway, I actually ended it because he was not ready for anything and in the long run - I was going to get hurt. But I did let him know that when he was ready, maybe we could get to know each other again then. We didn't speak for 3 months, and then I saw him at my brothers birthday, and at another dinner. Anyway I moved closer to where he lives a few months ago, and since then we have been spending a lot more time together. Very slowly we are getting to know each other again. I am hoping that things will work out, but trying not to have any expectations. Although I must say that I am falling for him.... I like him a lot, and I know he is very fond of me and likes me a lot - however I am conscious of not scaring him off, and letting him initiate a lot of the contact. I personally don't see a problem with it, given that the dating did not end last time due to a lack of attraction...but more due to bad timing. Does that help?
Author bluenightowl Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 Yes...I am in that situation as we speak. I was seeing/getting to know someone at the end of last year/beginning of this year...he is a good friend of my brothers, and had been hurt really badly by his ex of 10 years and the mother of his child. Anyway, I actually ended it because he was not ready for anything and in the long run - I was going to get hurt. But I did let him know that when he was ready, maybe we could get to know each other again then. We didn't speak for 3 months, and then I saw him at my brothers birthday, and at another dinner. Anyway I moved closer to where he lives a few months ago, and since then we have been spending a lot more time together. Very slowly we are getting to know each other again. I am hoping that things will work out, but trying not to have any expectations. Although I must say that I am falling for him.... I like him a lot, and I know he is very fond of me and likes me a lot - however I am conscious of not scaring him off, and letting him initiate a lot of the contact. I personally don't see a problem with it, given that the dating did not end last time due to a lack of attraction...but more due to bad timing. Does that help? yup. I think you handled things very well. It also takes a lot of guts to let someone go that you really like. I don't think a few dates, letting things go dormant, is in the same category of LTR where people breakup and I think the situation you are in, there is a very good chance of things working out.
Ayla Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I hope you are right...although I think he has gone into freak out mode again. So I am leaving him be for a couple of days. He will get back to normal, but I worry each time. In regards to getting back with someone after a LTR....I am never really sure this is a good idea....I did have an oppotunity to get back with an ex after 8 years of being apart, but we had grown into different people. So it would not have worked.
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