lesoiseaux Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 So my bf and I have been long distance for almost a month now (we've been together nearly a year, but just started the LDR). I've been doing pretty well so far, not usually getting very lonely or mopey or upset, which is surprising because I'm typically a very emotional person. I suppose it's cause I'm the one who moved to a new place and have been busy getting myself situated. That being said...I feel more distant lately. Nothing has changed, as far as I can tell - we still video chat often, albeit less than the first week or two, and I still talk to him every day in some form. We both have booked trips to see each other in the next few months, so things are actually progressing. I have a very good feeling about the LDR, which is set to end in 2 years, even though it has just started. But I guess something feels slightly "off," or the test of time is wearing on me, or now that I've settled in I have gotten more time to "realize" our situation. Although I must admit I do feel like he's been less "lovey dovey" and isn't as available to chat as he used to be (which used to be every day -- a lot, I know), all in all nothing has really changed. We still talk regularly and have booked flights. But somehow I feel further away. Not far away, just a little further. Is this normal? We still have a connection, but sometimes I am just so aware that there are 2000 miles between us and video chat seems a lousy way to sustain the link. Sometimes I feel like Skyping and texting have become the norm or a habit and so it's lost its spark. Any words of wisdom?? What can I do to fix this?? I want to talk to my bf about it but it's difficult to articulate, since we really do talk regularly...help!
luvflower Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 (edited) Is this normal? We still have a connection, but sometimes I am just so aware that there are 2000 miles between us and video chat seems a lousy way to sustain the link. Sometimes I feel like Skyping and texting have become the norm or a habit and so it's lost its spark. Any words of wisdom?? What can I do to fix this?? I want to talk to my bf about it but it's difficult to articulate, since we really do talk regularly...help! I'm not sure about what is actually considered "normal" but I do know that LDRs are unique and each one varies. I'm in one now and feel exactly like you're feeling, except my Ldr is still new, i.e. a few months and already I'm thinking of throwing in the towel. But in your case I would think much of what you're feeling is normal under the circumstances. Both of you are probably less available now than you were before mainly sure to the relocating and responsibilities. Not sure of each of the details of your lives, but try to maintain an olen line of communication and make a conscious effort to let him know that you're thinking about him, author over doing it. I would say you may wanna. go with the natural flow of things for now. Individual space is also necessary, just as much as spending time together. This way you both should have more to talk about when you do end up talking. When did you first start feeling a bit distant? Have you asked him of he has any similar feelings, or would that be too akward to bring up? Edited August 26, 2011 by luvflower
Author lesoiseaux Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 I ended up bringing it up with him tonight, which wasn't the best timing since he was on his way out to an event he had been planning on going to with his friends. So we weren't able to talk long, but we are planning on discussing things in more detail tomorrow. Basically it seems like we have to sort out a better way to do the long distance. As nice as it is talking every day, there is still something missing. We'll definitely have to compromise...I need to understand that he's not as talkative or emotional as I am, while he needs to understand that I need more meaningful contact in order to feel like I'm a part of his life. Hopefully we can sort things out. This was just the first time it has really hit me that...damn, this LDR thing is hard! I always knew it would be, but experiencing it is really something else altogether.
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