I know I am Stewpid

[anchormam]

I am a Captain and spend a great deal of time at sea. Two years ago, I found out that a man was staying at my house while I was gone. When I confronted my wife about it, while I was offshore, I came home to an empty house, no car, empty bank account, and several new charges on credit cards that she was not authorized to use. Basically, she was going out with a bang. She was taking advantage...period.

 

I filled for divorce immediately, and was really hurt because I treated her very good. For nearly 2 months, while I worked offshore, I never got headway with the attorneys. She was hiding, she could not be served, and time went on. I had no idea of what was next.

 

Then she called, she messed up, blah-blah-blah. We talked and stayed separated 6 months. To make a long story short, we got back together, she brought most everything back, but she sold several items that surprised me. That pissed me off right off the bat, but decided to give it a go anyway (I loved her), but I never took back the divorce complaint and I assume it still exists.

 

Now, a little over a year later, after everything was going good, she was good with money, and I was stupid enough to buy her a Mercedes for $62,000 two month ago, I am offshore and she has spent over $7000 in the last two weeks, to the point I cannot afford to go home, and she thinks, really doing that was Ok. She will not put any of the money back and said I cannot afford to go home. I am done with this crap.

 

Facts:

1) Live in Alabama

2) Once I tell her I want to get a divorce, she will take everything and run, and cannot be found. This was proven and I have no power to stop it.

3) No kids

4) I work, she doesn't - not in over a year.

5) Everything is in my name, none of which can be considered and asset in my eyes because the liability is more than it's worth. That includes the house, my old truck, and the new Mercedes.

6) The reason everything is in my name is her credit is absolutely horrible. Recently, I found out that she opened store credit cards and just decided not to pay. She must have several collection because I seen the letters when I was home. My credit is near perfect. I almost had a collection of my own because she did not pay a bill, and we had the money, she just did not pay it, but I was able to catch this before it hit my credit.

 

Considering all this, do I have any protection, or a tactic I should employ knowing what I do? I think Alimony is 10 years in Alabama, but she is selfish and will try to break me. No arbitration, she will drag this to court and make me pay once I get her there, which I know will be difficult.

Edited August 25, 2011 by anchormam

[Seraph1]

 

Then she called, she messed up, blah-blah-blah. We talked and stayed separated 6 months. To make a long story short, we got back together, she brought most everything back, but she sold several items that surprised me. That pissed me off right off the bat, but decided to give it a go anyway (I loved her), but I never took back the divorce complaint and I assume it still exists.

 

 

Ouch! I'm sorry that you got sucked into such an awful situation. Seems like she really didn't have much of a conscience if what you posted is any indication. A few more details would help to get a better picture of this woman. Does she ALWAYS wait until you are away from home to start spending up big? How long have you two been together? Did she ever express extreme displeasure over you being away from home or was she happy about it?

 

I think that one of the best things you can do if you are determined to end it is get those divorce papers served on her. Don't let her know they are coming and if possible...wait until you are back and can prevent her from taking off with your property.

 

I've seen countless divorces and while some can go smoothly... truth is that it sounds like your wife is unlikely to allow that to happen. It's good that you are focussed on protecting yourself and your assets. Fight for what is yours and offer her very little. Document as much as possible and make a move when YOU can control the situation. You don't want her doing a runner again.

 

Good luck and seek legal advice immediately. I'm not aware of the laws in Alabama.

[sadhubby]

i would act as if nothing is wrong , tell her dont worry about it sweetheart it will be ok get a plan together and execute swiftly and dont feel bad at all about it trust me she would do it to you. it just recentley happend to me i came home to a house empty she sold everything . and yes i took mine back after she messed up blah blah too. it hurts man i know but you will be better off in the long run. if a women ever cheats on me again its the road for her period..