back_to_black Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 i met my ex 4 years ago and fell deeply in love with him. 5 months ago we broke up. he is 1,5 years younger than me. he used to say im his soulmate, he loves me to death but he feels like he is too young to be married. plus our fights sometimes got violent. like in eminem's video "love the way you lie". so one day i packed up my stuff and left. i last saw him in july. after that i was too hurt so i left to europe to see my family for 2 months. well the thing is i dont believe that he doesnt love me anymore. i know i should move on etc. and i am staying NC (actually he was the one who messaged me for my bday couple of weeks ago), BUT my question is how can i finally understand that he doesnt love me anymore?
Nohbody Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 This is something that most of us are struggling with, and I don't have an answer for you. I wish I did - because then I'd have an answer for me. The simple fact is.... they don't love us anymore. Maybe they never loved us the way we loved them. It doesn't really matter how well we can accept that or not... because it doesn't change the fact. It is a fact of life, and I guess it will sink in someday. Good luck.
Seraph1 Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 how can i finally understand that he doesnt love me anymore? It isn't about understanding that he doesn't love you anymore. It's about accepting that the relationship is over and that you have a world of possibilities before you which do not include your Ex. I've been through some shocking break-ups in my life. I remember after each of them thinking 'I will never find someone to love again'. It's a lie. A figment of our fatalistic minds as we go through the pain of riding the heartbreak rollercoaster. Don't focus on him not loving you because you don't know that. I think the honest answer is that he didn't love you ENOUGH in the way that you needed and wanted. What you need to focus on is everything that you do want and hope for in life. Personally, I want to meet the love of my life. If it ends up being an ex that has come back or someone completely new... it doesn't matter to me. Why? Because once you are in love ALL your previous loves pale into insignificance. One of the most important things that I remember while going through a break-up is that while I am pining for someone who doesn't want me I may be missing out on meeting the love of my life WHO DOES WANT ME! Take your time to heal and live your life. You will meet someone else. You will not be single forever. You should enjoy being completely selfish for a while because you deserve it.
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