GivenUp0083 Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 (edited) My girl dumped me 3.5 months ago after a 6 months of a wonderful and happy relationship (from my end anyway) because she said she wanted to find the "fairy-tale love story and be head over heels". Well was NC for a month until she broke it, then I was NC another month and a half after that until I broke it with an email. We have talked on the phone for an hour once and texted a few times of small talk. I've done everything I know to do to try and get over this girl, and I don't like using the term "get over" because in some sense I am over her, but I've done everything from lost weight/gain muscle, spend time with friends/family, taken trips/vacations, tried to meet new people, etc and still from time to time I can't help but know that no matter how good things have been going since the break up, it's still not making me as happy as I was when I was with her. Basically it's like this: I've dated for many many years looking for someone to be happy with and I have known nothing but heartache, confusion, being played, lied to, stood up, cheated on. After years of trying to keep my head up, and trying to stay optimistic....I just can't do it anymore. The dating world out there is absolute *****, I've seen it and been through it all. I know what I want, I know what makes me happy, and I have it right in front of me. While texting I asked her if she'd like to get coffee sometime and she immediately said yes. I don't know what she's thinking or how she feels about me anymore, and I don't really care. I can't let this go, I can't live my life without knowing I at least gave it a shot. I'm not going to beg her, I'm not going to do anything to "convince" her to give me another chance as I've been down that path and it's a dark one. All I'm going to do is meet her, wing it from there, and if it feels right I'll tell her I miss her and that if there was any chance to have another shot at being happy with her again I'd give up anything to have it. Worst thing she can say is the same bull***** she's been feeding me before, but at least this time I can say I made an effort and that I didn't walk away, she did, and that I gave it a shot to get back something that can make me happy for the rest of my life. Can I be happy without her? Sure. My job is going well and I could make a lot of money in the near future, I have great friends, I can pickup random girls once in a while and have "fun"....but will it be as great as if I had her? Not even close. And that's something I have to live with for the rest of my life. I can't just walk away without knowing I took a chance without giving up. Edited August 25, 2011 by GivenUp0083
GgirlBgirl Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Good luck. I think you are being fair to yourself and your feelings. You never know what you might feel when you are actually face to face. I hope that I am never in the same situation though, b/c right now, I feel like I would beg him to get back together.
FeelingSmall Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Good luck, man... I hope things work out for you, I don't have any advice other than to not get your hopes up. Your post made me teary eyed. It sounds to me like she had a pretty good thing with you, I don't understand the "fairy-tale love" thing. It doesn't really exist. Nothing is perfect and relationships are hard work. It isn't all rainbows and sunshine. There are storms to weather too. After the storms are over the rainbows are particularly beautiful though. Just remember that things are going well for you, and it's still early. Time does heal these wounds and you will eventually "get over" her. IME good things find you when you're not looking. Keep your chin up, make sure to update.
intigo Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 i have a similar situation her but i am just in the begining its 8 days of NC and about 22 days since she broke my heart. i am 29 dated a lot had relationship she is the woman i want to be with... its a good thing that she agreed to go out but it would be better if she was the one to ask you out. Try to be as cool as you can be and fight any feelings you got inside, let her make the first move wish you the best (i would appreciate any advice ^trying to survive^thread)
radiodarcy Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this and i hope it goes well. but can i ask: what makes you think this "one last shot" is going to be different from the other "one last shots" that you've taken via the e-mail and phone conversations. or was that more about you testing the waters?
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