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Posted

information about the relationship is: 18 months together but we broke up because she cheated on me 4 months into the relationship and I had just found out. For the next 3 months we had "relationship comedown". Though there were happy moments, there were a lot of arguments and tears. I was jealous and controlling due to my insecurities with her cheating again. She was very flirtatious with others, dirty talk asking them to hang out. Then started to take ecstacy more often, and went to many more parties. We decided to not talk for a while after she started seeing another guy. No contact lasted for about a month. It wasnt really "no contact" though. We would still text once in a while and we would still go out for meals here and there. Sex too. She asks for me back one phone call. I accept her with open arms, however i say that we can not be official until we resolved our problems. The next month was happy though our problems started to re appear again. Her flirtatiousness drove my insecurities wild and I started being jealous. She flirted a lot and there were a few hook ups here and there. We argued a lot, mostly started by me. Eventually she starts to tell me that she no longer wants to be with me, but she still loves me. She says would be with me if she wanted a boyfriend but right now she does not. I kept rejecting her wishes and tried to make things work. We continued to hang out often, kiss, and say we loved one another. Whenever I ask if she wanted me out of her life she says no, she wants me there as a friend but not as a boyfriend. This pattern continued for about 4 months. Her flirting continued to get worst with her eventually having sex with another guy. She tried to hide it from me, lying every time i had asked if she had done something. I eventually find out. Currently we are on another "no contact" phase. The agreement was mutual with us going to one last dinner together. Looking back when we were actually together, (the first 18 months), we were happy. Not very many arguments, and we loved one another's company. Perfect couple as you can say. Now not so much. Is there any way to re kindle this relationship? How long should I wait for no contact? If there is no way, how do i let go? It is quite difficult. We all know that our significant other was a very big part of our daily lives.

Posted

I'm kind of being a hypocrite when i say this, but why do you want the relationship to work?

 

She has cheated on you before, so whats going to stop her from doing it again?

 

There doesn't seem to be anything healthy about this relationship, so it might be best for you to just let it go.

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Posted

You're right. It's a first love kind of thing. She was my first REAL girlfriend that I could introduce to family and go on trips with. It's just hard to let go. Any tips?

Posted

I know that feeling, the girl that I was last with was my first love.

 

I'm not particularly sure if I can give you any 'tips' as such, the only thing that you can really do is start working on your own life. Do things that make you happy & work on your flaws, you'll eventually meet someone else & by then you'll be in a great position to have a long lasting relationship.

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