joejoe Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Hey everybody, firstly thanks to everyone on here, really helps knowing that people actually want to help you in a practical way. So about 3.5 months since i got dumped from a 4 year relationship by a girl a really was truely in love with. Me 25 her 24, First love, she spoke about marraige,kids,house the works really felt we had something solid and real, not perfect but no serious problems at all. Still not positive as to why she ended it but have got alot of possibles from this site, gigs, another guy, her single friends, things becoming stale, me losing my confidence and being to nice and submissive, these are all possible reasons i feel now. Text a bit after a month and met up once went ok but have been NC now for nearly 2months again now. Im doing a bit better but to be honest I still feel terrible and down a huge amount of the time and miss what we had, Im defo still in love her even though tryin to convince myself im not. Initially really was hoping she would come-back but losing hope in that now and trying to move on. Since break-up, havn't been with any other girls or on any dates,but I have been workin out, partying, even went on holiday wit the boys, which she freaked over by the way! but nothing seems to be working to help me get over her and stop thinking about her. I think I realise now Im not happy with numerous aspects of my life and I need a totally fresh start so I can pursue my dreams and find myself. Im waiting on a job offer from abroad and if i get it, its new country,new job,new life for me. but at the same very anxious about emigrating alone and realise i will still miss her. Anyway sorry about that rant guess I just wanted to know what people thought of my situation. I hope things get better, thanks for any reading and any help given.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Hey everybody, firstly thanks to everyone on here, really helps knowing that people actually want to help you in a practical way. So about 3.5 months since i got dumped from a 4 year relationship by a girl a really was truely in love with. Me 25 her 24, First love, she spoke about marraige,kids,house the works really felt we had something solid and real, not perfect but no serious problems at all. Still not positive as to why she ended it but have got alot of possibles from this site, gigs, another guy, her single friends, things becoming stale, me losing my confidence and being to nice and submissive, these are all possible reasons i feel now. Text a bit after a month and met up once went ok but have been NC now for nearly 2months again now. Im doing a bit better but to be honest I still feel terrible and down a huge amount of the time and miss what we had, Im defo still in love her even though tryin to convince myself im not. Initially really was hoping she would come-back but losing hope in that now and trying to move on. Since break-up, havn't been with any other girls or on any dates,but I have been workin out, partying, even went on holiday wit the boys, which she freaked over by the way! but nothing seems to be working to help me get over her and stop thinking about her. I think I realise now Im not happy with numerous aspects of my life and I need a totally fresh start so I can pursue my dreams and find myself. Im waiting on a job offer from abroad and if i get it, its new country,new job,new life for me. but at the same very anxious about emigrating alone and realise i will still miss her. Anyway sorry about that rant guess I just wanted to know what people thought of my situation. I hope things get better, thanks for any reading and any help given. First Bold: stop trying to convince yourself that you're not in love with her when you know you are. if you succeed in convincing yourself those feelings of loving her will come back in full force later on, presumably when you enter a new relationship. Let your emotions flow freely. If you want/need to cry just let it out it will help. Second Bold: other than the above I think you are well on your way to healing. Keep up with the NC and keep exercising, partying, and other sorts. I bolded this portion in hopes of you seeing that you have some soul searching to do. you suggested a complete change and with that job opportunity you just may get that. If you don't end up getting that job you can still change little parts of your life and feel the fulfilment you are seeking.
Duckduckgoose Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 If you still love her, you do. I didn't try to convince myself I didn't love my exH anymore. I just did what the Usher song suggests... I "Let it Burn". When I would feel those feelings I would bring them to the surface and let them burn themselves off. It hurt a lot, I won't lie. Don't hold a candle for her. She didn't give you a reason she left. Work on yourself and eventually you'll find someone who won't have a reason to WANT to leave you
jquest1280 Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 Moving to a new country and a new job will surely hasten the process of getting over her. If you learn a new language, even better. I have lived in 4 countries since the break up (due to my work) and eventually settled in the last one. By the 4th move, all feelings of missing my ex permanently flew out of my mind. You're doing the right thing by focusing on your dreams. Go!
reimeivn Posted August 27, 2011 Posted August 27, 2011 moving to a new country is the only thing that i need for after a breakup. tell you what just be glad that you can be that far away from her. like me i go to the same school with the ex so i dont even dare to go out. even with people who only knew him and me dating, not even him walking around already scare me.
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