Kage111 Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 So my friend has been trying to set me up with one of his female friends for a few months now. When we first met there was an obvious mutual physical attraction, however since we are both pretty shy neither one of us was capable of really making any "moves". Somehow, over the course of the following months we ended up dancing at a club together, exchanging phone numbers, and even kissing, all in a group setting and while barely really getting to know one another. So I finally get the balls to ask her out on a one-on-one date and of course, she accepts. So we schedule our first date for the following week. She says it's fine and when the day finally comes she texts me that she underestimated how hard her school project was and needed the extra time. I was fine with that and she even said she'd make it up to me the following week. Come next week she sets up the date and when the time comes to pick her up she texts me again that she forgot she has a family thing that she can't get out of and how sorry she is. I say it's fine, we'll reschedule. So the next week I text her if she's free and she tells me that she'll be on a trip for that week and the following week. I say "Eff it" to myself and I don't respond to her text. Now it's two weeks since that incident and I know she's back but she hasn't texted/called me. I don't know whether to chalk it up to her shyness, if she really is just really busy, or if I'm supposed to take a hint that she doesn't want to go out with me. Any advice on what I should do?
Mr. Slim Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Why don't you hit up the mutual friend for the lowdown? While I don't necessarily think you need to doubt her sincerity about why so far you haven't been able to get together, the onus is clearly on her to reschedule. I probably wouldn't call her. Even if she hasn't blown you off, she needs to know your time is not disposable.
dave22 Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 It sounds to me like she isn't interested anymore. However, it cold be possible she has a severe case of social anxiety and is just too nervous to go on a date with you. In any case, if she isn't going to go on a date with you there is no way this is going to work.
grkBoy Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 I'm supposed to take a hint that she doesn't want to go out with me. There's your answer. Any advice on what I should do? Move on. This girl is a textbook flake. She got caught up in the moment that one night, but now changed her mind and doesn't have the guts to say the truth. I'd also mention this to your mutual friend. He/she might know more or at least kick her butt for flaking on you. Don't give up either...on love I mean. Just because one woman flaked doesn't mean they all will.
somethingsimple Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 She probably thought you lost interest. In any case, if you still want to go out with her ask her. Normally, I don't wait around for girls to go on dates with me, but if they flake, cancel, reschedule. I don't care, her interest might be low which is understandable. I'll simply just hit her up when I feel like going.
Finch Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 It sounds to me like she isn't interested anymore. However, it cold be possible she has a severe case of social anxiety and is just too nervous to go on a date with you. This rings false to me. Her social anxiety cannot be that bad if they've danced at a club together, and kissed already. In this case you, OP, have given her all sorts of green lights - there's been physical contact, you've exchanged numbers and have kept in touch, and you've asked her out not once but three times. Three times! Her cancelling once is understandable - things come up, it happens. A second time is fishy, but is sometimes okay - some people really do forget about things. By the third time you start to wonder if it's you. And now it's been two weeks and she hasn't called, sent a text, or tried to reschedule the date herself. She clearly knows you are interested and she's had plenty of opportunities to choose a date and time that suit her in the last couple of weeks. She could have responded to your last text with "I'm going on a trip for the next two weeks but I've also been looking forward to finally getting together with you! Lets go out the weekend that I get back" or anything along those lines. She could have made an effort, she could have shown some interest. But she hasn't. If you want to talk to you mutual friend to see what the problem is, go ahead. But don't try to set up any more dates. At this point, given the number of times you have tried, she knows you're interested. No matter how shy you are, when a guy tries three times to set up a date with you, you know he wants to go out. Calling or texting more will start to seem desperate. If she's really interested, let her show it. If she's not, no great loss. As grk said, don't let it make you give up on all women. We're not all like that.
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